Wicket

Impressed by Paploo

Allow me to paint you a picture with my imagination brush:

I had just returned home around 8:30pm – I had been at a volleyball game coaching my team to another victory (boo yeah!) – and ended up on the couch flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch. Lo and behold, I came across Return of the Jedi during the speeder bike chase and said to myself “You know, I haven’t watched ‘Jedi’ in a while so I might as well keep watching.” So, there I am, on the couch, watching Return of the Jedi as the film continues. The Rebel heroes meet their soon-to-be Ewok allies, Luke tells Leia they are siblings, Han gets jealous and Leia wants a hug, Vader and Luke end up discussing Vader’s moral compass, the Rebel fleet enters hyperspace, and the Rebels discover, thanks to the Ewoks, that there is a “back-door” to the Imperial facility on Endor.

Paploo discusses his plan with Wicket. Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Okay, so, the Rebels are led to the back-door by the Ewoks. Unfortunately, as you already know, the entry is guarded by four scout troopers milling about and chatting without a care in the galaxy. As Han Solo and his Rebel pathfinders do not want to alert the Empire to their presence, he and the group discuss their options. As they do so, the highly strung C-3PO learns from an Ewok counterpart that “…our furry companion has gone and done something rather rash.” Telling this to the group, Leia expressing an audible “Oh, no” the group watches as one Ewok moves towards the scout troopers.

Or rather, Paploo, the Ewok in question, moves towards the scout bikes sitting at the end of the clearing. Getting onto one of the bikes, Paploo proceeds to turn it on and zips off into the forest pursued by three of the four scouts. “Not bad for a little furball. There is only one left,” Han professes, obviously impressed by Paploo’s ingenuity.

Like Han, I too have always been impressed by Paploo’s quick-thinking decision to steal a speeder bike. But what truly impressed me during this particular viewing of Return of the Jedi as I sat on my couch was the fact that Paploo seems to know PRECISELY how to operate the scout bike. This realization had never dawned on me prior to this moment, the fact that this primitive creature with absolutely zero technological understanding knew the exact sequence of buttons and switches that needed to be activated for the bike to work. Impressive, Paploo, most impressive.

Granted, it is entirely possible that Paploo just gets lucky, that he randomly flips the correct switches and the bike ends up working. I’m hardly opposed to this possibility. It is, after all, the most likely way the scene is meant to be viewed. Never-the-less, as I sat on my couch watching Paploo start the bike, for the first time it dawned on me that the Ewok furball knew what to do. And, as a result, a second thought, a question, popped into my mind: how can we explain the primitive Paploo’s expertise in Imperial technology?

Honestly, I think explaining Paploo’s actions as intentional is easy, and actually works in conjunction with the thoughts I laid out about the Ewoks in my piece “Cute, Funny, and Very Deadly” way back in 2015. In that post – which was part of Ewok Week – I made the point that the Ewoks were either preparing to fight the Empire, or they had already started the fight when the Rebels show up. You can go read that post to get a deeper look at these ideas, especially since I believe Paploo’s apptitude with a scout bike can easily be tacked onto them.

: Paploo pilots the stolen speeder.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

If the Ewoks were already fighting the Empire, or just preparing for their war, it would make logical sense that the primitive beings took the time to learn about their foreign invaders. We can assume, then, that Paploo, and perhaps a number of other Ewoks, had already stolen scout bikes in order to learn more about these curious and unfamiliar machine. When he sneaks up on the bikes to steal one in Return of the Jedi, Paploo would already have an understanding, even a basic one, about how the contraption works. Not to mention, he also seems to know how to drive the speeder once it zips off into the forest. The initial acceleration surprises Paploo, but he regains control with relative ease and pilots the bike deeper into the forest with the three Imperial scouts hot on his tail.

Again, it could just be that Paploo gets lucky. Maybe he did. Honestly though, I find it far more likely, and way more interesting, if he and other Ewoks had taken the time to learn about the bikes as part of an attempt to better understand their enemy. But you can decide for yourself.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think about Paploo and his speeder bike excursion!

An Ewok Week Conclusion

The Woklings are sad that Ewok Week is over.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

I have to admit that I am a little sad that Ewok Week is coming to an end. When the idea was conceived, I wasn’t really sure how I would approach it or what I would do for it. Quite frankly, over the summer, I just started making it up in my head, throwing ideas around and seeing what made sense. Somethings I was planning to do, like an exploration of Ewok religion, I didn’t end up doing (I will at some point in the future). But other things I hadn’t even considered, like writing about Ewok Jerky, came to me at the last minute. I suppose that is just how the creative process works.

Putting all of that aside, though, what I am truly sad about is that with the end of Ewok Week comes the end of my months of obsessing about Ewoks. This hardly means I will stop loving them, or stop enjoying them, or stop thinking about them. It just means that it is time to move on to other Star Wars-y things – and oh do I have a lot coming up for you all! But who knows, perhaps an Ewok-related post or two will find its way onto the blog again, or, maybe someday, I will put together Ewok Week 2.0. And in the meantime, maybe some more Ewok Haikus or Fan Feelings on Ewoks will trickle in from a few more fans.

Derek Waddell’s thumb looks better with an Ewok band-aid.

Speaking of you fans of Star Wars and The Imperial Talker, I want to thank you for helping to make Ewok Week a success! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would receive the support and fangagament that I did this entire week. Plus, I want to extend a HUGE thanks to all of you who took the time to submit pictures, haikus, and your feelings on Ewoks. When the next week-long series rolls around, I hope that you not only submit again, but that others do so as well!

And so, I need to ask you all a question: What should the NEXT week-long series be about?

Perhaps you want a week devoted to Droids? Or just R2 and 3PO? the Clone Troopers? Gungans? should we go small again and focus on Jawas? or get larger and think about the Hutts? Or maybe a week on the Empire?

These are all just ideas I have kicked around, but it’s time for you decide. Do you want one of these or do you have something else in mind?

Send me an email, tell me in a comment below, send me a Tweet @ImperialTalker, or leave a comment on Facebook with what you want the next week-long event to be!! And, once I tally everything together, I will let y’all know where we are heading!

Also, feel free to send me your feedback on Ewok Week, and other suggestions to include in the next week-long series. I am always open to hearing from the fans and trying new things, so don’t shy away.

From me and all the Ewoks, thanks for making Ewok Week so fun and so great!!! Yub Yub!!!

Jeff – The Imperial Talker

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Cute, Funny, and Very Deadly

“Yub Yub”

As a little kid, I loved the Ewoks. My reason for loving them, simple! The Ewoks were adorable. Okay, well that and they acted silly and funny. Sure, as an adult I may not laugh out loud at the funny things the Ewoks do or say, but I definitely did as a child and I can still appreciate the silliness as an adult.

Leia begins to remove her helmet as Wicket munches on a snack.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Take Wicket as an example, the Ewok who pokes Princess Leia awake with his spear. Wicket curious but hesitant as he interacts with her at first, but when Leia takes off her helmet Wicket leaps up, readying his spear and preparing for the worst. All of this because she took off a helmet! Why would he be afraid of a helmet!?!?! Ha! How ridiculous!

Granted, I couldn’t appreciate as a child that maybe Wicket had never seen a helmet before, or perhaps he was just startled by her action. But who cares, little kid me didn’t need to think that hard about the scene. All I had to do was sit back and enjoy, which I still do even if I am not in tears from laughter.

Well, I DO still laugh when Wicket lassos himself with a sling during the battle of Endor. Silly Wicket…

Another example of Ewok hilarity: they bow down and worship the whiny, always complaining C-3PO as a god. C-3PO of all characters! Even Han is taken-aback by “goldenrods” newly christened divine status.

And then there is the moment when the Ewok’s prepare to make Han and Luke the main course in a feast honoring their new god though, as a kid, I never worried that Han or Luke would be consumed(though it would have been a heck of a plot twist in the film if Lucas HAD gone down that road). Naw, what made that scene so great, and what still makes it one of my favorites, is just how absurd the entire situation is – the Ewoks sing a little tune while they stack logs for the feast. Han tries blowing out a torch. Luke makes 3PO “fly” which terrifies the Ewoks and sends them running in all directions. The whole scene is just as hilariously silly!!!

Han attempts to blow out the torch.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Well, hilariously silly but also REALLY messed up. The Ewoks were going to EAT Han and Luke. Wait, sorry, they were going to BURN THEM ALIVE AND EAT THEM. Let that sink in for a second…

This isn’t to say that the scene isn’t meant to be funny. Rather, when the layers of silliness and humor are stripped away in this and other scenes, the Ewoks turn out to be different than we first thought.

In fact, let’s chat about their tactics in the Battle of Endor.

Cuddly but Deadly

Consider this: the Ewoks bludgeon A LOT of Imperial soldiers to death with clubs and spears. Remember when those two Ewoks take control of the AT-ST with Chewie? While our favorite Wookie pulls one of the pilots out of the cockpit, tossing him over the side, the two Ewoks jump in and beat the hell out of the other pilot.

And that is only two Ewoks out of…hundreds? Thousands? Here is a list of things that other Ewoks do during the Battle of Endor:

Ewoks swing from vines, throwing two Stormtroopers down a hill where they are then pounced on by other Ewoks who start clubbing them.
One Ewok slings a Stormtrooper around the neck, an act that presumably causes the trooper to suffocate.
A group sneaks up on Stormtroopers firing at Han and Leia, beating them with clubs and spears (see the featured image at the top of the post).
Other Ewoks lasso a speeder bike with rope, sending the bike and its pilot spinning around, and eventually crashing into, a tree. You can hear him scream the entire way to his fiery death.
Still others “clothes-line” the pilot of another bike with a rope suspended between two trees – there is no way that trooper’s neck was not instantaneously snapped.
A handful of Ewoks standing on a massive log drop rocks on Stormtroopers below them.
They send massive logs swinging into the cockpit of an AT-ST, crushing the two soldiers inside.

Ewoks throw rocks onto Stormtroopers.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

What’s my point? Well, the Ewoks are certainly adorable and silly, but they are also incredibly dangerous and deadly. Primitive they might be, but they are clearly effective warriors, so skilled in the art of war that they can take on a technologically advanced foe in a head-to-head fight.

So, with this thought in mind, I am gonna just come right out and say this: the Ewoks were planning on fighting a war against the Empire before Han and his strike team arrived. Or, perhaps they had already started the fight, and the Rebels just showed up in the middle of it.

Seriously, think about it. Haven’t you ever wondered how the Ewoks were able to prepare for the battle so quickly? It isn’t like they started stacking those massive logs twenty minutes before the battle began, or built catapults right before they launched their attack. To be fair, some of those logs and catapults were surely built and perhaps in place already to deal with an occasional Gorax threat, but as a whole, in my mind, the Ewoks were preparing for a while, waiting for the moment to strike by strategically placing their weapons near and around the bunker. Maybe that day on Endor was not the day they had been planning to launch an all-out war, but the day found them.

But that didn’t really matter because they were clearly ready for it. The battle begins when they decide it is time. The trumpets sound and the Ewoks emerge from their hiding places to shoot arrows and throw spears at Imperial soldiers. As the battle progresses, there are other Ewoks in trees spotting and signaling their comrades, while others lead Imperial troops into ambushes.

Romba mourns the death of Nanta
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Logistically, strategically, tactically, the Ewoks were the superior foe in this fight. Sure, some Ewoks die in the fight, like poor Nanta who is mourned in the moment by his comrade Romba. But as warriors they know the risk and are prepared for what awaits them in battle.

But hold on a second, if they are such skilled warriors, then there is a very good possibility that Ewok tribes on Endor have gone to war with one another countless times. They had to learn the art of war somehow, right? Setting traps for Gorax, and occasionally killing one, would hardly be enough to train them in the ways of warfare. Just picture that – two Ewok tribes fighting a forest battle. It would be the most adorably bloody battle ever!

Oh, and chances are the victors eat their dead enemies, be them Ewok or Imperial. I just hope the Ewoks of Bright Tree Village didn’t feed any dead Stormtroopers to the Rebels after the big win.

Then again, Chewie probably wouldn’t mind. He is always thinking with his stomach.

Leave a comment and check out other Ewok Week posts:

The Imperial Talker Presents: Ewok Week

The Music of the Ewoks

Ewok Jerky

Ewok Haikus

Fan Feelings on Ewoks

Ewoks Battling for Endor

The Scout

The Imperial Talker Presents: Ewok Week

Welcome to Ewok Week! Yub Yub!!!!

For the entire week, I will be presenting posts ranging from fun and lighthearted to outright disturbing, all dedicated to those furry little creatures from the Sanctuary Moon of Endor who help the Rebels defeat the Empire.

Of course, I am well aware that while some of you may love and adore the Ewoks, others of you probably hate them with a passion and think they are a ridiculous part of the Star Wars universe. Knowing these different feelings about Ewoks exist, I asked for people to submit their thoughts on the Ewoks, be them good, bad, or neutral. Having collected a number of submissions already, I will be publishing them in an article titled “Fan Feelings on Ewoks.” And, for those of you who want to contribute to this post, even after it goes live, feel free to send me a paragraph or two with your thoughts and I will include them in the post.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Really, you should all think of Ewok Week as an open forum, an opportunity to engage with not just my thoughts on the Ewoks, but to share your own. So feel free to email me a paragraph, to comment on the posts, to send me an Ewok Haiku or some Ewok Fan Art, and, if nothing else, to just sit back and enjoy the opportunity to think about the Ewoks.

Oh, and one last thing — Ewok Week is the very first week-long series I have dedicated to a particular element within the Star Wars galaxy, it won’t be the last. At the end of the week, I will be asking you to help me decide what the topic for the next week-long series. Starting thinking now about what you might like it to be!

Enjoy Ewok Week and May the Force be with you!