Star Wars

The 10 Sexiest Females in Star Wars

Beauty, it is said, is in the eye of the beholder. I shared my thoughts on The 10 Sexiest Males in Star Wars in my previous post and it seems only appropriate to present the females I behold as the sexiest in Star Wars as well. I hope you enjoy the list and do leave a comment if you feel so inclined to join the conversation.


10. The Pa’lowick Sy Snootles. This singer exudes sexy in her voice and her movements. How could anyone resist her? Ziro the Hutt certainly couldn’t. Neither can I.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

9. The Geonosian Queen Karina the Great. This powerful hottie is surrounded by Geonosian males who do nothing but serve her every need. How lucky are they!?!?!

Photo Credit – Star Wars The Clone Wars Season 2, Episode 7: “Legacy of Terror”

8. The Gossam Shu Mai, Presidente of the Commerce Guild. You know what’s sexy? Money! And Shu Mai has loads of it.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

7. The Tauntaun Luke is riding in The Empire Strikes Back. “Steady girl. Hey, what’s the matter? You smell something,” Luke asks his mount. Yeah, she does smell something, my insatiable desire for her.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

6. The Yam’rii Kitik Keed’kak. It was attraction at first sight when I saw this giant, skirt wearing praying mantis in the Mos Eisley Cantina.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

5. The Dowutin Ninth Sister, an Imperial Inquisitor. Musicians are sexy. Power is sexy. Money is sexy. And you know what else is sexy? Having a sensitive side where you are good at reading emotions. I just think the Ninth Sister would really get me. Also, she is hot.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

4. The Sarlacc. I have a secret desire to be subjected to pain and suffering so how could I resist letting this beautiful girl digest me for 1,000 years?

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

3. The Thala-siren Luke milks in The Last Jedi. The Greek hero Odysseus had to tie himself to the mast of his ship to resist the sirens on his Odyssey and me thinks he would have to do the same for this sexy siren. She is irresistible.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

2. The planet Zonoma Sekot. No offense to Mother Earth but this Rogue Planet just does it for me. I know the Yuuzhan Vong would agree with me. I bet Rick Sanchez would too.

Photo Credit – Star Wars The Essential Atlas

1. The Millennium Falcon. Han tells Luke that, “she may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts…” Damn right she does.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Fiction’s Fearless Females: Shmi Skywalker

Young Anakin Skywalker turns and runs back to his mother, telling her that “I just can’t do it mom.” Offered the chance to flee his life of slavery on Tatooine, to travel the galaxy and become a Jedi under the tutelage of Master Qui-Gon Jinn, the 9-year-old boy has a reasonable moment of doubt. He has only ever known this life with Shmi, his mother. As an audience we know very little of their life prior to meeting them in The Phantom Menace, only small bits that are often short on details. Anakin and Shmi used to be the property of Gardulla the Hutt and are now owned by the junk dealer Watto. Shmi has taught Anakin to care for others who are in need, and she says he has no greed. Anakin is the only human who can fly a podracer, having incredible reflexes that are uncommon for a human. We learn these and other facts, but they remain superficial, lacking any depth to better understand the trajectory of the life Shmi and Anakin have lived together. When Anakin says he does not want to leave, and his mother never-the-less insists “don’t look back,” we are otherwise lacking any meaningful understanding of what looking back truly means.

Except, there is one very important piece of information that we did learn that something that is stunning and adds incredible depth to both characters. At one point, Master Jinn enquires about the boy’s father, wondering who he was. To this, Shmi offers something startling. “There was no father,” she tells the Jedi Master, “I carried him [Anakin], I gave birth, I raised him, I can’t explain what happened.” In other words, Anakin is quite literally a miracle.

Qui-Gon Jinn takes this information and runs with it, taking a blood sample from Anakin that evening, a sample which confirms what he already suspected, that the boy has a unique and powerful relationship to the Force. Curiously, though, Qui-Gon takes no further interest in Shmi other than briefly wanting to free her from slavery along with Anakin, something he is unable to accomplish. Once Anakin is freed, with plans set in motion for the boy to join the Jedi, Qui-Gon will also ask Shmi if she will be alright, but this is a question that Shmi has little time to contemplate. Her son has been set free, he can now leave the arid sands of Tatooine for a better life, something she could not offer him.

It is unsurprising that Qui-Gon’s focus becomes freeing Anakin. Afterall, The Phantom Menace is a story about the discovery of Anakin, the “One who will bring balance to the Force,” and his first steps on the journey to becoming Darth Vader. The Star Wars saga which creator George Lucas crafted by adding the Prequel Trilogy is the story of Anakin Skywalker, of his fall to Darkness and his redemption, but this story is not possible without Anakin’s mother. She is the linchpin, the one character who was needed to establish his inevitable importance. All of the other characters, the events, the details, all of it could be different, could be changed for us to arrive at Anakin’s downfall. Shmi, however, is central to Anakin’s story. Even though she occupies a mere sliver in the great canon of Star Wars, she never-the-less plays one of the most critical roles.

Miraculous births are fundamental to establishing the importance of religious figures, and virgin births are incredibly common across a wide spectrum of religious traditions. Jesus is the most obvious and well-known example, born to the Virgin Mary, but he is not the only one. In one Aztec story, Quetzalcoatl was born to the virgin. A legend about the Muslim poet Kabir describes that he was born to a virgin Hindu. The list goes on and on (just google it). Thus, what Shmi describes to Qui-Gon Jinn follows this archetype, establishing Anakin’s special importance as a religious figure.

However, with Anakin as the focus of this miraculous information, Shmi becomes lost in the background. For a long time, I took Shmi for granted, never stopping to consider that her agency and voice in the matter is hidden behind the veil of Anakin’s importance. She could not explain what happened, we are but neither is she given the chance to explain whether she even wanted a child, not to mention any other reactions/emotions she felt when she learned a fetus was developing within her. As a man, I have no clue what it must feel like for a woman to discover that she is pregnant. I am incapable of understanding this experience, all I can do is listen and learn about what is undoubtedly a very personal and varied reaction from one woman to the next.

On this point, I am not suggesting George Lucas should have put words into Shmi’s mouth on this topic in The Phantom Menace. That could have just made things far more awkward. I do think, however, that Shmi Skywalker deserves to have her story told in a much more dynamic way that elevates her agency and voice regarding a pregnancy that was imposed on her, not chosen by her. We should not assume that just because Shmi could not “explain what happened” that this implies a passive acceptance of the pregnancy on her part. Instead, what she honestly tells Qui-Gon Jinn should be the jumping off point for a deeper dive into her lived experience, for this particular aspect of her story to be written by a woman or women in such a way that elevates her to the same level of importance as Anakin.

And that is the thing that I believe needs to be emphasized. Shmi Skywalker is just as important as Anakin precisely because she is, at the very least and in my opinion, an equal partner in the balancing of the Force. Like Anakin, Shmi Skywalker is also a miracle, she is the Divine Mother, and it is long past time that her story, her agency, and her voice are amplified.


Fiction’s Fearless Females is in its fourth year!  Yay!  The series runs for the month of March and along with myself feature pieces by Nancy and Kathleen from Graphic Novelty2, Kalie from Just Dread-full, Michael from My Comic Relief.  Be sure to follow each of these blogs and to check out all of the Fearless Females in the series. Just follow these links:

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy

Ellie and Sandie

Black Canary/Birds of Prey

Beverly Crusher & Deanna Troi

The Erasure of a Huttlet

I suppose at the outset I should acknowledge two points that are necessary before proceeding. The first is that this piece contains spoilers from The Book of Boba Fett. Not a lot of spoilers, just a handful of details that help me explain my thought process. Secondly, the more significant point, is that as a Star Wars fan I am genuinely frustrated that I am sitting here writing this piece. This feeling being the motivating factor, rather than beating around the bush building to the big “reveal” about why I am frustrated I will just get right to the point:

The Book of Boba Fett never addresses the existence of Rotta the Huttlet, Jabba the Hutt’s son and the rightful heir to Jabba’s criminal empire.

Years ago, I wrote a piece in which I explained that Rotta – a character introduced in The Clone Wars movie in 2008 – should take over his father’s nefarious enterprise. In that piece I offered some ideas regarding how Rotta could be utilized, and while I was under no illusion (I never am) that the storytellers at Disney/Lucasfilm would ever come across my posts and use my ideas, I never-the-less was hopeful that Rotta would, eventually, make a future appearance in Star Wars. Or, at the very least, I held out hope that we would find out in some small way, even in a passing statement hidden in a book, where Rotta is or even if he is still alive.

When The Book of Boba Fett was teased in the end credits scene following the season two finale of The Mandalorian my hopes for Rotta’s return were raised. In this short teaser we watch Boba Fett, accompanied by the assasin Fennec Shand, enter Jabba’s throne room and kill Bib Fortuna, the Twi’lek who served as Jabba the Hutt’s majordomo. “Finally,” I thought to myself as I watched this short scene unfold, “Star Wars will address, in some way, what happened to Rotta the Huttlet!” My hope, unfortunately, was misplaced.

Boba Fett claims Jabba’s Throne after killing Bib Fortuna
Photo Credit: The Mandalorian Season 2 Episode 8 – The Rescue

I waited to write this post until I watched the finale of The Book of Boba Fett. I wanted to be fair to the show, to the storytellers who put their time and energy into telling Boba’s Fett’s tale once he establishes himself as the daimyo, the self-appointed ruler, of Jabba’s fiefdom. But it became apparent I would write this piece following a moment of exposition at the outset of the show’s third chapter.

Chapter 3: The Streets of Mos Espa begins with Boba Fett seated on the throne listening as a droid describes the areas of Mos Espa, the local metropolis, which were under the protection of Jabba the Hutt. The droid explains that “after the sail barge disaster there was a power vacuum; Bib Fortuna assumed Jabba’s mantle.” The droid then goes on to offer how Fortuna ruled, acknowledging that the Twi’lek did not have the same power as his former Hutt employer.

Now, that Bib Fortuna placed himself on the throne following Jabba’s demise in Return of the Jedi is not entirely surprising even if it is odd that he somehow survived the destruction of the sail barge. It is reasonable enough to think that Jabba’s majordomo would step into the vacuum following the Hutt’s death, knowing as he would how the criminal empire was run. Yet, this only makes sense if we presume that Rotta the Huttlet is somehow out of the picture when Fortuna moves himself onto the throne. Basically, either Rotta needs to have died before the events of Return of the Jedi, he had to die in the sail barge explosion, or Fortuna would need to eliminate him from contention in some other way. Whatever the case may be, there has to be some accounting for Rotta’s absence.

I was hopeful The Book of Boba Fett would address this, that in acknowledging the obvious power vacuum after Jabba’s death there would be some type of explanation about what happened to Rotta. But when, in Chapter 3, the droid explains that Fortuna took over without mentioning Rotta I knew, right then, that this show would not account for Rotta the Huttlet. I wanted to be wrong but intuitively I knew I wouldn’t be. Never-the-less, as I said, I also felt that I needed to be fair to the creators of The Book of Boba Fett, allowing their story to play out, and doing so on the off-chance a reference to Rotta was dropped into the show.

I mentioned earlier in the piece that I have written about Rotta the Huttlet before and back then, just as now, I feel his absence from Star Wars is a massive problem. With a 7-part show dedicated to a new ruler on Jabba’s throne, The Book of Boba Fett was THE place for Star Wars to address, in some way, the fate of Rotta the Huttlet. But it didn’t, and as a result I am left to ask if the erasure of Rotta is intentional. I cannot help but wonder if the creative directors at Disney/Lucasfilm are choosing to ignore the Huttlet who helped introduce us to The Clone Wars animated series? Have they decided that he is just not worth consideration, that it is easier to skip over him because he is an inconvenience to the story they want to tell? Frankly, I don’t have the answer. At this point, I don’t know how to account for Rotta’s continued absence in Star Wars and to be entirely honest I am no longer hopeful his fate will ever be adequately addressed.

Rotta the Huttlet is returned to his father, Jabba the Hutt.
Photo Credit – Star Wars: The Clone Wars (movie)

I do not want to belabor the point regarding Rotta’s erasure any further. Instead, I will offer my own form of positivity, a hopeful idea to salvage Rotta that the Disney/Lucasfilm creators will neither see nor use. But I offer it anyway because, for my own sanity, I would like to settle the issue. So here is the idea:

Rotta the Huttlet is still alive. He survived the sail barge disaster because he was not on the sail barge. He was captured by a criminal gang known as the Red Key following his father’s death, although the Red Key was unaware they had Jabba’s son. In turn, the Red Key planned to install the Huttlet as their puppet ruler of Mos Pelgo, aka Freetown, but were ultimately thwarted by the town’s new lawman, Cobb Vanth. Placed in the care of Malakili, the former Rancor keeper in Jabba’s palace, the orphaned baby was given the name Borgo. Perhaps Malakili knew he was now the guardian of Jabba’s son, recognizing the child from their time in the palace, or perhaps not. It does not matter. Rotta the Huttlet, the true heir to Jabba’s criminal empire, is alive and he is waiting for the day he can reclaim his rightful throne from the imposter daimyo Boba Fett.

The Death of Chewbacca

In 25 ABY, Chewbacca died on Sernpidal when Dubido, the planet’s smallest moon, crashed into the world. Moments before his death, Chewbacca had heroically saved the life of Anakin, the youngest child of Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo. Having been caught in high winds due to the impending disaster, Chewbacca sprang into action to save the teen, returning him to the Millennium Falcon. But more winds picked up, this time knocking Chewbacca away from the Falcon. With Anakin at the controls of the freighter, Solo stood on the ramp scanning the area, seeing his Wookiee friend in the distance. Anakin though, recognizing the peril they were in, made the difficult but necessary decision to pilot the Falcon away, leaving Chewbacca on the surface of Serndipal, howling in courageous defiance, as Dubido crashed into the planet.

Depicted in the 1999 novel The New Jedi Order: Vector Prime by R.A. Salvatore, the death of Chewbacca was the first major loss of a main character from the Original Trilogy films to take place in Star Wars. It was as shocking as it was unexpected, a heroic but tragic end for the beloved Wookiee. As an adolescent Star Wars fan, only 14-years-old at the time, it was difficult processing Chewbacca’s death. This was not because death was a foreign concept to me, or because I was naïve in thinking our heroes live forever. Rather, it was because his death felt like the loss of a close friend. Chewbacca may have been Han Solo’s loyal companion, but he felt like MY loyal companion as well, and the unexpected loss of the Wookiee left a hole that was, at the time, difficult to fill.

To the intensity of Chewbacca’s death was added the emotional turmoil it exacted on the other characters, particularly Han and Anakin. Almost immediately, even before the Falcon left the Serndipal system, Han blamed Anakin for the death of Chewbacca, a rift opening between the father and son. Anakin justified his decision, pleading that he had no choice, there was no way to save Chewbacca and escape the unfolding cataclysm. Plus, he would remind his dad, they had refugees from Serndipal on-board, they were responsible for these lives and had to get them out of harm’s way. Han was unconvinced, unable to process the pain of his dear friend’s demise, he would continue to lay blame at Anakin’s feet for the remainder of the novel, and while healing the rift between father and son would begin by books end, healing the inner turmoil each felt would not abate. In the next book in the series, Dark Tide I: Onslaught by Michael A. Stackpole, Anakin would continue to question his actions, convinced he had caused Chewbacca’s death. And Han, in his only appearance in the novel, is disheveled and obviously drunk, trying but failing to cope with the Wookiee-sized hole in his heart.

Chewbacca’s image memorialized in a tree on the planet Kashyyyk.
Photo Credit – Star Wars: Chewbacca (Dark Horse Comics)

Shocked by his death I wished that Chewie would miraculously return. Yet, I also knew Chewbacca was not coming back from the dead even though he could and would still appear in stories prior to the cataclysm on Sernpidal. And appear he did in a unique form almost immediately. Published a couple months after Vector Prime was released, the Dark Horse comic series Star Wars: Chewbacca offered unique, in-universe tributes to the recently deceased Wookiee. These stories allowed the most memorable characters like Luke, Leia, and Han to reminisce and offer personal reflections on Chewbacca’s life. Likewise, those who did not feature in the Star Wars films, such as Chewie’s wife Mallatobuck, offer tales which expanded on the Wookiee’s exploits, further illuminating his already remarkable narrative.

While the Chewbacca comic series offered a moment for characters and fans to reminisce on Chewbacca’s life, the fact remained that he was gone. At least, that was the case until Disney wiped the slate clean, removing Vector Prime and the death of Chewbacca from the Star Wars canon. Relegating the Expanded Universe to the realm of “Legends” in 2014, Disney/Lucasfilm chose to resurrect Chewbacca with the introduction of a brand-new storyline. Admittedly, this was an unsurprising move on the part of “the House of Mouse,” one that was even understandable. With new films on the horizon in 2014, the powers-that-be needed to ensure that fans who only watched the Star Wars films did not need to play catch-up on the galaxy, reading and learning about events/characters spanning decades “in-universe.” Thus, if Chewbacca were to die once more it would be under different circumstances, which brings us to a rather jaw-dropping moment in The Rise of Skywalker.

The “Death” of Chewbacca

Having just been captured on the desert planet Pasaana by a couple Knights of Ren, Chewbacca is loaded onto a transport to be whisked off to a First Order Star Destroyer. But as the transport lifts off the ground, it is caught in the middle of a struggle of wills between Kylo Ren and Rey. Seeing the transport with Chewie moving away, Rey reaches out with the Force, stopping the vessel in mid-air. Kylo Ren also reaches out with the Force, attempting to snatch the transport away from Rey. Digging deeper and deeper into themselves and their connections to the Force, Rey suddenly taps into something hiding far beneath the surface: the Dark Side of the Force. Force-lightning shoots from her fingers, hitting the transport and killing all on-board, Chewbacca included.

Rey’s reaction after she kills Chewbacca.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

The scene is stunning, a prime example of a “holy shit” moment that made my jaw drop. Not only has Rey, the heroine of the Sequel Trilogy, used the Dark Side, her action also results in the death of her friend, her co-pilot, and a beloved Star Wars character. The implications are far-reaching and gut-wrenching. Going forward, her other friends – Finn and Poe – must be exceedingly cautious around her, wondering if Rey will be set-off again, perhaps even killing them! Rey, too, must question the same, struggling with having killed Chewie and considering the threat she poses to the others. As an audience, we too must tread lightly with Rey, the death of Chewbacca serving as the beginning of her turn to the Dark Side of the Force, her premonition of sitting on the Sith throne, which she describes to Finn, now a very real possibility.

Except, none of that happens. Even though The Rise of Skywalker provides an unquestionable “holy shit” moment on par with other “holy shit” moments in the Star Wars franchise, the film goes out of its way to reassure us that Chewbacca is not dead. Exactly two minutes and six seconds after the electrified destruction of the transport we discover out that Chewbacca is now a prisoner on-board a First Order Star Destroyer. Although we initially saw Chewbacca being loaded onto a First Order transport, and we hear Finn emphatically declare that Chewbacca is on the transport which Rey in turn destroys, as an audience we get to breath a collective sigh of relief that our favorite Wookiee has not met his demise because he was, in fact, on a different transport.

Chewbacca, captured by the First Order, expresses his displeasure.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Additionally, while the audience discovers right away that Chewbacca is alive, slightly more time will pass, fourteen minutes and nine seconds in film runtime, before Rey discovers that she did not kill her friend. When the aforementioned Star Destroyer arrives in orbit above Kijimi, the planet the Resistance heroes travel to following Pasaana, Rey will sense Chewbacca’s presence, knowing in that moment he is still alive. That Rey can sense him here and now and could not do so right after she “killed” him on Pasaana is a point the film conveniently ignores. Regardless, knowing that he is on the orbiting vessel, the group set out to free their friend, infiltrating the Destroyer and rescuing the Wookiee from his temporary First Order captivity. Although doing so will waste valuable time in their quest to save the galaxy, another point that is otherwise ignored, the rescue mission will end successfully, bringing Chewbacca’s non-death story-arc to its finale.

Facing Death

What begins as a “holy shit” moment in The Rise of Skywalker ends up being nothing more than a narrative bait-and-switch which happens at lightspeed. In all honesty I’m not sure why the movie so rapidly reassures us that Chewbacca is not dead, undercutting the shock of his death just as we begin to process it. It’s as if writer/director J.J. Abrams did not trust the audience to struggle with the emotional turmoil of Chewbacca’s loss, at least not for more than the two minutes and six seconds we believe he is gone.

Additionally, just as I fail understand why we were reassured of his survival so quickly, I likewise find it difficult to grasp why his death was not permanent. As I explained, his death would have added long-term ramifications to the narrative beyond the immediate shock value it provides. Moreover, Chewbacca should have stayed dead because after he is rescued, he has no real utility for the remainder of the film, being given very little and often peripheral screen-time. True, he does momentarily mourn Leia’s passing when he is told she has died, and at the end of the movie he is given a medal by Maz Kanata, an obvious call-back to the medal ceremony in A New Hope (I will address this topic in a separate post). Otherwise, after Chewbacca’s survival/rescue, he is really just along for the ride, offering little but his presence to the plot.

Perhaps most importantly, though, maintaining Chewbacca’s death would have served as a reminder to audiences that death is something we must all face, as terrifying as that may be. I certainly do not begrudge those who were relieved, like Rey, Finn and Poe, that Chewbacca survived in The Rise of Skywalker. I get it, I really do. It is hard to encounter death, especially the death of a beloved character. It can cut you to the core. And discovering they are still alive is a blessing and a huge relief. When Chewbacca became the first Original Trilogy character to die in the Expanded Universe it ripped my 14-year-old heart out. I was in disbelief that the Wookiee was no more, I wanted him to still be alive, but my disbelief and all of the accompanying emotions were necessary parts of the grieving process. I was in denial but, deep down, I knew, just like Han and Anakin did, that Chewbacca was no more. In this way, Chewbacca’s heroic but unexpected demise in Vector Prime reminded me, as I am sure it reminded so many other Star Wars fans at the time, that death, as Yoda would go on to say in Revenge of the Sith, is a natural part of life.

In her book A Short History of Myth, author Karen Armstrong notes that myth “is nearly always rooted in the experience of death and the fear of extinction.” We are, Armstrong points out, “meaning-seeking creatures,” and a great many of the myths we have told for millennia have attempted to find meaning in the reality of death. In this vein, Vector Prime and the stories of The New Jedi Order served then, and still serve today, as a continuation of the modern-day myth that Star Wars was always meant to be, forcing us in this particular case to confront and wrestle with what it means to be mortal. Chewbacca’s death in Vector Prime is a mirror in which we are meant to see ourselves, our fragility, our own extinction. Like Chewbacca, we cannot escape our finite existence, but what we can do is face it, face it with the same howling defiance of a mighty Wookiee.

Star Wars: 10 Characters Dathcha Never Interacts With

I recently came across two Star Wars…articles?…on cbr.com that left me genuinely dumbfounded. One is titled “10 Characters Obi-Wan Never Interacts With” and the other is “10 Characters Darth Vader Never Interacts With.” As the titles both imply, each goes on to list a variety of characters in Star Wars whom Obi-Wan and Darth Vader, respectively, never encounter. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not entirely opposed to pointing the obvious at times, particularly when presented in relation to a genuine question such as “did Obi-Wan Kenobi interact with Watto in The Phantom Menace?” Given the relative proximity to one another in the same film, both being in/around Mos Espa at the same time, it is a worthwhile question that one may ask and that can easily be answered with a resolute “No” followed by a short description. That in and of itself is fine, I have no problem with that.

What is NOT worthwhile and is, in fact, a complete and utter waste of everyone’s time is a list of random Star Wars characters from across the spectrum of films that one can easily say “never interacted” with literally any character an author chooses. In the list of “10 Characters Darth Vader Never Interacts With” the author…no, sorry, the “lister”…states that another character who “didn’t get a chance to met [their typo, not mine] Darth Vader is Qi’ra from Solo: A Star Wars Story.” Well, yeah, of course they didn’t “met” because Darth Vader isn’t even in the damn film and it is the ONLY film Qi’ra appears in. So why even put Qi’ra in the list!?!?!

Maybe if the lists were more focused, more directed towards a single Star Wars film that considered the major/minor characters Obi-Wan or Vader, respectively, never cross paths with, maybe that could be worthwhile. Perhaps then such a list could then be beneficial, at least adding something semi-interesting to a conversation about Star Wars. But that is not what these lists are for. No, the randomness of the lists belie their true purpose: both are just mundane filler with “Star Wars” in the title for another run-of-the-mill comic book site.

And so, to highlight how utterly pointless such drivel is I happily and annoyingly present to you “10 Characters Dathcha Never Interacts With.” Feel free to skip the list and go do something else. Like, literally anything else. You do not have to keep reading because nothing I present below will be worth your time. That is, unless, you are a fan of really bad jokes.

10/10 Dathcha Never Interacts with Director Orson Krennic

Why the hell would they interact? Dathcha is the Jawa who shoots R2-D2 on Tatooine in A New Hope while Orson Krennic is the Imperial Director of Advanced Weapons Research in Rogue One.


9/10 Wat Tambor and Dathcha Don’t Met One Another

Of course they don’t met! Dathcha is a Jawa in A New Hope and Wat Tambor he is the Skakoan leader of the Techno Union who signs Count Dooku’s treaty in Attack of the Clones. Wait, did the Jawas also sign the treaty? I’ll be back, I need to go suffer through the bad CGI and bland dialogue in Attack of the Clones to find out if Dathcha was one of the original Separatist leaders.


8/10 We never see Dathcha with Princess Leia

Now, let’s be clear…and this is REALLY important… both ARE in A New Hope. But no, they never cross paths, probably because Leia never actually goes Tatooine in the film. She just sends R2-D2 instead.

But hey, I guess that is something, right!?! Like, wow, Character A (Leia) interacts with Character B (R2-D2) who then interacts with Character C (Dathcha). That is wild! So Character A never meets Character C, but they have a connection through Character B!!!! Does that ever happen in other stories?


7/10 Dathcha and General Hux Don’t Have Team-Up to Solve Crimes

I was hoping to find a connection here but to no avail. This is probably because Dathcha is a Jawa in A New Hope and General Hux is a First Order officer who appears in the Sequel Trilogy. But I do think it is worth Lucasfilm giving these two a series on Disney+ where they team-up and solve crimes. It could be called “Jawa and First Order.” Give it a second and you’ll get the joke. Or not. Whatever.


6/10 Ahsoka Tano and Dathcha Haven’t Interacted…

…although, I have to be honest, they may have at this point. I don’t really know because I can’t keep track of Ahsoka Tano anymore. She seems to be everywhere in Star Wars all at once so at this point she and Dathcha could be best friends.


5/10 Dathcha and Darth Sidious Never Discuss the Dark Side of the Force

This one is just so obvious I’m not even gonna write anything else. Moving on…


4/10 Millard Fillmore and Dathcha Never Interact

Last I knew, the 13th President of the United States was not in A New Hope. Then again, maybe he was thrown into the film in one of the special editions of the Original Trilogy. I will have to go back and look more closely because maybe, just maybe, President Fillmore and Dathcha do interact and I have missed it. I will update this if I find anything…


3/10 Dathcha Doesn’t Fly with Gold Leader in the Battle of Yavin

Unfortunately, our brown robed Jawa friend never has the privilege of joining Jon Vander, aka Gold Leader, in the final battle of A New Hope. But it is a neat thought, right? Like, what IF Dathcha somehow survived the faux Tusken slaughter, stowed away on the Millennium Falcon, made his way to Yavin and jumped in the Y-Wing with Gold Leader!?! That would have made for an amazing and completely unnecessary Star Wars twist!

Actually, come to think of it, that might already be one of the short stories in “From a Certain Point of View.” I wouldn’t know, though, because I never read the anthology.


2/10 Datcha Didn’t Participate in the Immaculate Reception

Dathcha was not playing for either the Oakland Raiders or Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1972 AFC Divisional Playoffs. So there was really no way for him to be part of one of the greatest plays in American Football history. Although I wonder if George Lucas was watching and the play inspired him to create the Jawas! Now that is a really REALLY dumb thought but I am gonna hold out hope that it might be true.


1/10 Finally, Dathcha never interacts with Obi-Wan Kenobi OR Darth Vader…

…OR DOES HE!?!?!?!

No, no he doesn’t.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! If you made it this far I hope you enjoyed what you read and do be sure to check back in for my next post: 10 Star Wars Characters the Rancor Never Eats

Talking Star Wars Issue 002

In my first issue of Talking Star Wars I mentioned that we had moved into a new house at the end of July and that we were in the process of getting settled in. Well, that process has continued and coupled with my parental responsibilities (like being tackled by an energetic toddler) it all adds up and cuts into the time I dedicate to Star Wars in general and blog writing in particular. Further, my obsession with Doctor Who continues unabated, and I am finding myself not only watching at least one episode of the British show every day but also having some pretty long conversations about it with my friend Mike (aka: My Comic Relief). Still, I did find some time to focus on Star Wars a bit more over the past month, and I ended up publishing two pieces on the site:

Haikuesday: Imperial Officers (OT)
M-3PO: The Rogue Protocol Droid

This Is the Way

Probably the most talked about Star Wars news over the past month has been the trailer for Season 2 of The Mandalorian. I figured I should offer my thoughts on it, if only to jump on the bandwagon and feel included in the hype. Except I haven’t watched the trailer so I really have nothing to offer.

Well, I guess I could explain why I haven’t watched it. That is worth wasting 42 seconds of your time, right? Sure it is!

Here is the thing: I really liked the first season of The Mandalorian. As the first entry into live-action Star Wars shows I thought it was a strong debut, aesthetically and thematically capturing some of the best parts of the franchise. But even though I really enjoyed it, after I finished it and began hearing news about Season 2 my interest began to wane, and when the trailer came out I just wasn’t in the mood to watch it. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure I will still check out Season 2 of The Mandalorian and I am sure it will continue to capture some of the things I really love about Star Wars. Never-the-less, when it was announced that Ahsoka Tano would appear in Season 2 I just threw up my hands and said “Uggggggggggh!!!!!” I don’t hate Ahsoka, although I do think she should have died in the second season of Rebels (that’s a conversation for another time). Rather, what had me excited about The Mandalorian in the very beginning – a story about a loner in a “complicated profession” surviving in the lawless Outer Rim – feels watered-down and overshadowed by Ahsoka’s inclusion. She brings so much backstory and baggage with her that, at this point, it is basically impossible for her NOT to steal the spotlight. Besides, The Child (aka “Baby Yoda”) has already stolen the show, and the last thing The Mandalorian needed was another Force-user to compete with for audience attention.

Watching Star Wars

I did not watch any of the Star Wars films or shows over the past month but I DID watch the trailer for the upcoming Star Wars: Squadrons video game. The trailer – “Hunted” – is only 7 minutes long but the story it tells about Imperial forces in full retreat after the Battle of Endor, and more specifically a TIE Interceptor being hunted by an X-Wing, has me pretty excited to play the game (once I find some time to indulge in some Star Wars dogfights). If you haven’t watched the trailer yet you should even if you aren’t going to play it. And, because I am so nice, you don’t even need to search for it because I found it for you. No excuses, watch the trailer!

Oh, one more thing about the trailer: when the X-Wing pilot says “War’s over, Imp” I can’t help but hear my friend Mark Lockard. I guess I am just gonna imagine Mark actually is the pilot, and I’ll just believe he ejects before he meets an explosive end. So hooray, Mark lives!

Star Wars Reading List

Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising – Timothy Zahn
TIE Fighter (graphic novel) –
Jody Houser
The Stark Hypserspace War (graphic novel)
– John Ostrander
Dark Tide II: Ruin
– Michael A. Stackpole

At the beginning of September I took a short pause from my re-read of The New Jedi Order to check out Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising. While I noted in Talking Star Wars Issue 001 that the Disney Star Wars canon hasn’t really been appealing to me lately I still wanted to give Zahn’s new entry into the “Thrawnon” the canon of Thrawn, a read. Why? Well, because I am a Thrawn superfan. There was never a doubt I would read this book when it dropped because I live in symbiosis with the blue-skinned, red eyed Chiss. He and I are basically the same person (although I am slightly more attractive).

Did I enjoy the new book in the Thrawnon? Hell yes I did. I dare not spoil it for anyone, but I will say this: the vast majority of this book works with BOTH the Expanded Universe and the Disney canon. I am going to write more about this in a review of the book, though. So just be patient while I put it together…

Before jumping back into The New Jedi Order I also decided to give a couple Star Wars graphic novels a read. I’ve had my eye on the TIE Fighter graphic novel for a while, and the release of the Squadrons trailer convinced me to pick it up. Admittedly, the story wasn’t mind blowing but it was interesting, offering a look at a depleted TIE Fighter Squadron in the days before the Battle of Endor. As well, TIE Fighter is a small tie-in with Alphabet Squadron, with references to Alexander Freed’s series popping up here and there (i.e. – Yrica Quell, the protagonist in the series, makes a cameo).

I also decided to re-read The Stark Hyperspace War for like the 107th time. Okay, I might be exaggerating a little but I really do love this Expanded Universe story and have read it a number of times. It offers a look at a short but vicious war that takes place 12 years before The Phantom Menace, a war which helps set the stage for some of the events in the film. I am considering writing a longer piece about it but what I will say right now is that if you’ve never read it and you are a fan of Jedi Master Plo Koon then you should definitely check it out. In fact, I credit The Stark Hyperspace War with making me a die-hard fan of the Kel Dor.

Photo Credit – The Stark Hyperspace War
Artist -Davidé Fabbri 

And, as you can see from my list above, I did make it back to The New Jedi Order, finishing Dark Tide II: Ruin. Honestly, this is one of the more difficult books to read in The New Jedi Order, not because it is boring or drags but because it sucks you in and forces you to really feel the horror of the war the Yuuzhan Vong are waging against the galaxy. For me, this is no more apparent than when the Vong destroy the world of Ithor, the homeworld of the peaceful Ithorian species. What happens to the planet is heartbreaking and offers a stark reminder that war, yes even a star war, is terrible and we should never allow ourselves to think otherwise.

Compassion of the Jedi

Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life.” – Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker (Attack of the Clones)

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Perfect Star Wars Pet: Boglings

Photo Credit – Jedi: Fallen Order

Native to Bogano, boglings make their first and only Star Wars appearance in the video game Jedi: Fallen Order.

A Long Time Ago…

…I wrote this post about war being No Place for Children. Give it a read.

Freeze Frame

Photo Credit: The Clone Wars Season 4, Episode 10 – “Carnage of Krell”

The 501st Clone Battlion, led by Captain Rex, steel themselves as they prepare to confront and arrest Jedi General Pong Krell. Surely knowing that some of them will die, the clones never-the-less march forward with a stoic resolve to complete their mission and bring Krell to justice.

Three Star Wars Quotes I Really Like

“We must keep our faith in the Republic. The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it.” – Queen Jamilla (Attack of the Clones)

“The Emperor who ordered Operation Cinder, who built two Death Stars, who oversaw countless genocides and massacres and created an Empire where torture droids were in common use, was not a man of secret brilliance and foresight. He was a cruel man. Petty and spiteful in the most ordinary ways; and spiteful men do spiteful things.” – Reprogrammed torture droid IT-O speaking to Lieutenant Yrica Quell (Alphabet Squadron)

Our time has come. For 300 years, we prepared. We grew stronger. While you rested in your cradle of power, believing your people were safe… and protected. You were trusted to lead the Republic—but you were deceived, as our powers over the dark side have blinded you. You assumed no force could challenge you…and now…finally…we have returned.” – Darth Malgus during the attack on the Jedi Temple in 3653 BBY (The Old Republic)

Capital Ship Spotlight: EF76 Nebulon-B escort frigate

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Ten Random Star Wars Thoughts

  1. I always enjoy the pod race in The Phantom Menace. I think it is the second best part of the film.
  2. Poe Dameron may be one hell of a pilot but Soontir Fel is the best pilot.
  3. I wonder if Wookiees get their hair cut…
  4. Dark Forces is one of my favorite Star Wars computer games but I was never very good at it. In fact, I don’t think I ever beat it.
  5. The cover of the Imperial March by Rage Against the Machine is badass. Listen to it HERE.
    a. Rage Against the Machine is one of my favorite bands so I am completely biased in liking the cover. Plus, I love the Imperial March, so it all works out.
    b. I like to imagine Saw Gerrera and his partisans sitting around listening to Guerilla Radio.
    c. “Lights out, Guerilla Radio, turn that shit up!”
  6. The best part of The Phantom Menace is the duel between the Jedi and Darth Maul.
  7. I have absolutely no interest in going to Galaxy’s Edge. Theme parks just aren’t my thing and I really dislike crowds. If I ever go it will be with my son and only if he wants to go.
  8. If I taught an ethics class I would use Dark Disciple by Christie Golden as one of my required readings. The rationale the Jedi adopt for assassinating Count Dooku is challenging and worthy of deep examination.
    a. The novel does an incredible job of making the reader question the motives of the Jedi Council, particularly Yoda and Mace Windu.
  9. I can’t help but feel that Chirrut Îmwe and Baze Malbus are being under used in Star Wars storytelling. Were it up to me I would put them in Jedi: Fallen Order 2. I could easily see Cal Kestis traveling to Jedha City and running into them.
  10. If I was asked to write a Star Wars story it would be set in the months after Order 66 and would involve newly minted Inquisitors not only hunting down and killing Jedi but also the extended families of Jedi.
    a. Maybe I should just write some Star Wars fanfiction about this…

Ten Random Non-Star Wars Thoughts

  1. Biden-Harris 2020
  2. Starbucks coffee is overrated. I drink it if I have to but I prefer not to.
  3. Allons-y!!!
  4. I have found myself thinking quite a bit about Kurt Vonnegut recently. I can’t help but wonder what he would have to say about the current occupant of the White House, the state of our democracy, the Coronavirus pandemic, conspiracy theories, and more.
    a. Were he still alive I bet he would write an updated version of A Man Without a Country.
    b. Even though he wrote it in 2005 the book is still very relevant today. I just think he would want to add a little bit to it.
  5. Somehow I accidentally purchased a digital version of the new Bill and Ted movie. Admittedly, this is not the worst thing that could happen since I was going to rent it anyway. I just hope it is worth the $24.99 I paid because that is a Star Wars LEGO set I could have bought!
    a. “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.”
    b. “Be excellent to each other.
    c. “Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan?”
  6. There are benefits and drawbacks to running a 6-2 and a 5-1 in volleyball. In my opinion, you should fit the system to the players you have rather than forcing players to adopt an offense they may not be capable of running.
    a. If you don’t know anything about volleyball and are confused then just google “volleyball 6-2 vs 5-1”
  7. The most absurd question I ever got from a student in one of my college religion courses was the following: “Where do baby horses come from?” Naturally, I proceeded to explain how horses mate.
  8. One of the most extreme toddler tantrums my son has thrown over the past month was when his banana broke and he couldn’t put it back together.
    a. Tantrums don’t even bother me anymore because I have transcended to a new state of parenthood where the screaming and crying just blend with the background noise pervading the universe.
  9. I absolutely love composting. It is so satisfying.
  10. Did I mention Biden-Harris 2020?

A Star Wars Haiku

Jinn and Kenobi
Use Jedi speed to escape
but only one time?

M-3PO: The Rogue Protocol Droid

Introduced in Rogue Squadron, the first novel in Michael A. Stackpole’s fantastic X-Wing series, I have always held a special place in my Star Wars heart for M-3PO. A modified 3PO-series military protocol droid with the unique clamshell head of a spaceport control droid, M-3PO is more commonly known by the nickname “Emtrey.” Introduced in the book by Commander Wedge Antilles, Emtrey is the squadron quartermaster (hence why I have dubbed it “the rogue protocol droid”) and is tasked with using its “scrounging protocol” to find the necessary parts to maintain the squadron’s X-Wings. Additionally, Emtrey is responsible for creating pilot duty assignments and caring for other administrative tasks that are required to keep the famed squadron functioning at peak performance.

While Emtrey’s base programming makes it an integral part of Rogue Squadron’s operations it is a hidden program within Emtrey that makes the protocol droid an oddity. Discovered by squadron executive officer Captain Tycho Celchu while ferrying himself and Emtrey to the planet Talasea, Celchu stumbles upon a “wait-state” when he tells the droid to “shut up” three times in a row which allows one to access the entirety of Emtrey’s database and memory banks. As the Captain explains to the smuggler Mirax Terrik, “we were in combat and he [Emtrey} wouldn’t stop nattering. I ended up yelling at him to shut up and after the third time, this happened.” An obvious homage to the nattering of C-3PO and the penchant of those around the golden droid to tell him to shut up, the funny “little trick” that Celchu discovers leads Terrik to an important observation: “That’s dangerous for a droid doing military work.

Captain Celchu confirms that “there are a number of things odd about this droid…” which, in his role as executive officer working closely with the squadron quartermaster, he discovers. But this wait-state is the oddest, and while there is some obvious humor in someone deactivating a nattering protocol droid by telling it to shut up, Terrik is also correct, this function is dangerous. Even though Celchu and Terrik are able to utilize the wait-state to help Rogue Squadron, in the hands of the enemy Emtrey’s databanks would otherwise be ripe for the picking. Valuable information about the internal workings of the New Republic’s military would be readily available once Imperial operatives told the droid to “shut up” three times.

Except, this IS the point of Emtrey’s odd programming, having been intentionally installed by New Republic Intelligence. This is a fact we do not learn in Rogue Squadron but never-the-less makes perfect sense once it is revealed in a novel later in the X-Wing series. I dare not spoil the reason, though. While these books have been around for 20+ years if you’ve never read them, and this is the first time you have even heard of Emtrey, I would hate to ruin the reason for this “little trick.” And, if you have read the series, and you DO know why Emtrey shut’s down when told to shut up, you can just keep that to yourself 😉


Check out these other posts about random protocol droids in Star Wars:

U-3PO: The Other Protocol Droid

K-3PO: The Dead Protocol Droid

E-3PO: The Rude Protocol Droid

TC-14: The Federation Protocol Droid

TC-70: The Hutt’s Protocol Droid

R-3PO: The Red Protocol Droid

AP-5: The Singing Protocol Droid

4A-R2: The Pirate Protocol Droid

4-LOM: The Bounty Hunting Protocol Droid

TC-326: The Military Protocol Droid

4-A7: The Caretaker Protocol Droid

Haikuesday: Imperial Officers (OT)

Officer Daine Jir.
“Holding her is dangerous.”
I mean, he’s not wrong.

Nahdonnis Praji.
Commander and Vader’s aide
on Devastator.

Pragmatic, realist.
General Cassio Tagge.
Chief of the Army.

Admiral Motti.
Arrogant, hubristic, and
lacking in his faith.

White Uniform Guy.
The one who has a moustache.
Colonel Yularen.

Outer Rim Grand Moff.
Governor Tarkin orders
Alderaan’s death blow.

Lieutenant Treidum
His side burns are majestic.
Chewie punches him.

Lieutenant Childsen
“Where are you taking this…thing?”
Such a rude question!

General and Chief.
Moradmin Bast recognized
“There is a danger.”

Admiral Ozzel.
“He felt surprise was wiser.”
Vader disagreed.

Executor‘s bridge.
Captain Piett promoted,
given Ozzel’s rank.

Admiral Piett.
Only officer to be
in two OT films!

Maximilian Veers.
During the Battle of Hoth
the General leads.

“Sir, Rebel ships are
coming into our sector.”
Lieutenant Cabbel.

Tyrant‘s commander.
“Good. Our first catch of the day,”
Captain Lennox says.

Lieutenant Venka.
Tells Piett of a signal
from the Avenger.

“There’s no trace of them,”
Commander Nemet explains
to Captain Needa.

“Lord Vader demands
an update on the pursuit.”
Officer M’Kae.

Apologetic.
Captain Needa takes the blame
which Vader “accepts.”

Speaking to Vader,
Captain Bewil tells his Lord
a ship approaches. 

ST-321.
Piloted by Captain Yorr
and Colonel Jendon

Death Star Lieutenant.
“Vader’s shuttle has arrived,”
Endicott declares.

Grand Moff Jerjerrod.
Overseeing Death Star II.
He goes down in flames.

Commander Igar.
Requests permission to search
for more Rebel troops.

“Freeze,” Colonel Dyer
orders the Rebels…but Han
has other ideas.

On the Forest Moon,
Major Marquand is beaten
by Ewok fighters

Commander Gherant –
He yells “Too late!” during the
Battle of Endor.


Check out these other Haikuesday 2.0 posts:

Imperial Atrocities

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Dark Lords of the Sith

Star Wars Planets

The Great Jedi Purge

Star Wars Aliens

Clone Troopers

Finn (TFA)

Chewbacca

Talking Star Wars Issue 001

I haven’t had as much time to work on The Imperial Talker over the past month. In large part, this is because my wife and I recently bought a new house and, at the end of July, we moved into it. Moving is always a pain, and it is extra difficult when you also have a toddler AND you have a laundry list of new tasks to complete in a home. As a result, cutting the grass and trimming bushes, among other things, has taken priority not only over this blog, but also over my ability to enjoy Star Wars (and other forms of entertainment). Then again, taking a break from over-indulging in anything, even Star Wars, is not only important but also necessary, an opportunity to reset the mind and brainstorm new ideas. While I have been adapting to a new daily routine, I have been conjuring up thoughts about a slew of topics, some of them having to do with Star Wars and this site. And that takes us to this post.

Vader and Kylo
Grandfather and grandson before the move. They wanted one last look outside.

Basically, I had this idea (one that came to me while engaging in the quasi-religious ritual of cutting the grass) where I would provide a little glimpse of what I have been up to as a Star Wars fan each month. As well, I thought it would be fun to get a little random, offering not only a snapshot of my monthly Star Wars activities but also whatever Star Wars things I feel like sharing. And, of course, the open-ended nature of such a post allows me to take things anywhere I want in a looser fashion than some of my more in-depth posts. Admittedly, while I love thinking/writing about Star Wars on this site doing so can at times be a slog because I am a perfectionist. Before I post anything, I need to be sure it is precisely what I want to say. And, as you can imagine, that can be time consuming AND mentally exhausting. I wouldn’t have it any other way, of course, but a little levity in the form of this new monthly series (and my on-going Haikuesday series) offers opportunities for me to take a step back and not worry about ideas/concepts lining up with academic perfection.

That said, I hope you enjoy this new series – Talking Star Wars – and be sure to leave a comment when you are finished reading.

Watching Star Wars

In the past month I have watched no Star Wars. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Instead, I finally caved and began watching Doctor Who. Until the move I never had any real desire to watch Doctor Who. It sounded interesting but I was otherwise indifferent. Then came the move and a new cable package that includes HBO Max. Since the good Doctor is on HBO Max, and seeing as I need to justify spending $15/month on the service, I said “Okay, let’s do this” and, well, the rest is history. I can’t get enough of it. Sorry Star Wars, but you’ll just have to wait until I am done traveling with The Doctor.

Oh, but I should note that while I have not watched Star Wars over the past month, I have discovered quite a few moments in Doctor Who that I am fairly confident influenced The Clone Wars. Watch Doctor Who Season 1, Episode 2 (“The End of the World”) and then watch The Clone Wars Season 2, Episode 13 (“Voyage of Temptation”). If I’m wrong then I am wrong. But if I am right then I am a flipping genius!!!

A Star Wars Room is Born

After my wife and I bought our new house I had a mini-panic attack over the most ridiculous first world of problems: where the hell was I going to put all of my Star Wars stuff? To solve this non-crisis of consumerism we had a room converted in the house into a collection room with custom shelving where I could display my objects of Star Wars desire. I am still in the process of working on the room, bringing things together and getting everything set up, but I am pleased with how it is coming along and look forward to sharing its evolution as time goes on.

I am incredibly lucky to have the privilege to worry about where I will put my Star Wars “stuff.” I have done well financially to accumulate the Star Wars things I own AND to dedicate a room in my home to the passion I have had since I was a child. With great privilege comes great responsibility, though, and my Star Wars room serves as a constant reminder that I am called to a more important cause, the cause of creating a more just, equitable, and sustainable world. I am far from perfect in this, but I am never-the-less dedicated to working on behalf of others who are in distress, be it physical, mental/emotional, financial, etc. Fighting on behalf of others, taking on the unjust and corrupt systems that harm and destroy lives, THAT is just one of the many messages message I learned from Star Wars as a child and which has stuck with me to this day. I am privileged to have a room with my Star Wars collection, but grateful for the constant reminder that I must continue to bring positive, progressive change to the world.

Collection Room 2
A small glimpse of my Star Wars room. More pictures to come in the future!

Compassion of the Jedi

Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life.” – Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker (Attack of the Clones)

Please consider donating to Starlight Children’s Foundation, a wonderful organization that specializes in delivering happiness to seriously ill children and their families.

Perfect Star Wars Pet: The Rancor

Star Wars Reading List

Vector Prime – R.A. Salvatore
Dark Tide I: Onslaught – Michael A. Stackpole

I began a re-read of The New Jedi Order at the end of July, just before we moved. It has been a while since I read the entire series, primarily because there are A LOT of books in The New Jedi Order. Reading it is a pretty big time commitment but a worthwhile one. Never-the-less, a re-read was long overdue and since I just finished re-reading the X-Wing series I wanted to stick with some more Expanded Universe stories. Besides, the content Disney is putting out right now just isn’t captivating me the way it did a few years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I am still enjoying some of it here and there, but as a whole I have found it difficult to get excited about the Disney canon. Alternatively, having grown up living and loving the Expanded Universe, jumping back in made perfect sense. I needed to remind myself that there ARE Star Wars stories that have been around for years and continue to speak to me. I am sure I will jump back into the Disney stuff again, but The New Jedi Order is where I will be living for a while.

A Yuuzhan Vong warrior.
Source: The New Essential Guide
to Alien Species
Artist: William O’Connor

That said, the series is unlike any other in Star Wars because the villains – the extra-galactic Yuuzhan Vong – challenge the heroes of Star Wars (Luke, Leia, Han, etc…) and the reader in truly unexpected ways. This is no more apparent than in Vector Prime, the first novel in the series, when Chewbacca heroically dies saving Anakin Solo, the youngest child of Han and Leia (I have a post forthcoming about his death). This event sends emotional shockwaves through the book and hangs over the entire series, a constant reminder of just how dangerous the Yuuzhan Vong truly are and that no one, not even the heroes we grew to love in the Original Trilogy, are safe from death.

A Long Time Ago…

…I wrote this post about General Veers. Give it a read!

Freeze Frame

The face Admiral Piett makes when the Millennium Falcon escapes at the end of The Empire Strikes Back is priceless. With Darth Vader killing Admiral Ozzel and Captain Needa earlier in the film, one can certainly understand the look of “Oh shit…” on Piett’s face. That he survives, reappearing in Return of the Jedi and still in command, is quite the surprise!

Three Star Wars Quotes I Really Like

“”He is a wound in the Force, more presence than flesh, and in his wake life dies… sacrificing itself to his hunger.” – Visas Marr describing Darth Nihilus (Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords)

“A communications disruption could mean only one thing: invasion.” – Sio Bibble to Queen Amidala (The Phantom Menace)

“Your reputation precedes you, General. The reputation of a coward, and a murderer.” – Jedi Master Eeth Koth to General Grievous (The Clone Wars Season 2, Episode 9 “Grievous Intrigue”)

Ten Random Star Wars Thoughts

  1. The Empire Strikes Back is my favorite Star Wars movie but A New Hope is the best Star Wars movie.
  2. Darth Caedus would beat Kylo Ren in a lightsaber duel.
  3. Ahsoka lived but she should have died.
  4. That B’omarr Monk in Return of the Jedi is probably wondering why Jabba the Hutt has not returned to the palace yet.
    a. Speaking of Jabba the Hutt, what the hell happened to his son Rotta? Are we just ignoring the fact that Rotta exists in Star Wars? I guess so…
  5. The Rise of Skywalker is a cinematic rip-off of Dark Empire, and Dark Empire is better (and the plot actually makes more sense).
  6. Children’s book idea: One Sith, Two Sith, Red Sith, Blue Sith
    a. “This one has a double-blade, this one took a Jedi braid.”
    b. “Those Jedi Knights are such a blight, they ramble on about the Light.”
    c. “The Rule of Two or just The One? Bane and Krayt could duel for fun.”
    d. I am copywriting this idea 😉
  7. I always screw up the trial on Manaan when I play Knights of the Old Republic even though I have played the game a dozen times.
  8. Zander Freemaker and I have something in common, we both love the N-1 Starfighter.
  9. Whenever I played “Battle of the minefield” in the TIE Fighter computer game I would immediately destroy my wingmen at the outset of the mission before they turned against me. I’d just reduce my speed, line them up in my targeting sights and blast them into oblivion.
    a. The two wingmen end up turning on you a few minutes into the mission. They are loyal to Admiral Harkov who ends up defecting to the Rebellion in this particular mission.
  10. Shmi Skywalker is the most important Skywalker.

Ten Random Non-Star Wars Thoughts

  1. I blame My Comic Relief for getting me hooked on Doctor Who. That show is crazy good. Craaaaaaaaaaaazy good.
    a. Should I just convert The Imperial Talker into The Doctor Talker?
  2. Biden-Harris 2020…need I say more?
  3. I recently re-watched The Lord of the Rings. I still get goosebumps when Éomer leads the Rohirrim charge at the Battle of Helms Deep in The Two Towers.
  4. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star is stuck in my head and I blame my son (but I sure do love him).
  5. Black Lives Matter
  6. I wonder if anyone has actually read this far. If so, I am impressed because that means they must really like me or they are just really bored.
  7. Everyone says I should watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. I probably should but since I finally started watching Doctor Who I don’t think that will happen anytime soon.
  8. I think everyone should read Riot Baby by Tochi Onyebuchi. It is a gut-wrenching novel that offers a important perspective on the insidious ways in which systemic racism destroys young black lives.
  9. I can quote most of the movie Gettysburg from memory and the last time I watched it was like 15 years ago.
  10. Did I mention Biden-Harris 2020?

A Star Wars Haiku

Ozzel was murdered
Captain Needa was murdered
Piett got lucky

The Murder of Lor San Tekka

We had only just met him in the opening moments of The Force Awakens before he is brutally murdered by Kylo Ren. Sitting in a small hut, Lor San Tekka (Max von Sydow) offered a valuable item to Resistance pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac), an item which will be critical to the plot of the film. Their conversation also offers brief but important context as the movie opens, with the elder providing his thoughts on the state of the galaxy, the Jedi, the Force, and General Leia Organa. “To me, she’s royalty,” he points out when Dameron mentions the General, an obvious nod to Leia’s more familiar title of Princess (both in universe and among the audience).

The dialogue between Lor San Tekka and Poe Dameron is abruptly cut short when BB-8, the pilot’s droid, bursts through the door with a warning: the First Order is approaching. Seeing troop transports on the horizon, Dameron tells Lor San Tekka “You have to hide” to which the older man responds, “You need to leave.” At this urging, Dameron runs through the small village, a village teeming with commotion as it prepares to defend itself against the First Order incursion.

Only a short time later, the village will be overrun by stormtroopers, and a massive black shuttle will descend. Out of the shuttle will walk Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) and he will head towards the center of the town where Lor San Tekka is being help with the remaining villagers. Now, Lor San Tekka will engage in another dialogue, this time with a man shrouded in darkness whose face is hidden by a terrifying mask. It is Ren who speaks first.

Lor San Tekka confronts Kylo Ren.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Kylo Ren: “Look how old you’ve become.”

Lor San Tekka: “Something far worse has happened to you.”

Kylo Ren: “You know what I’ve come for.”

Lor San Tekka: “I know where you come from, before you called yourself Kylo Ren.”

Kylo Ren: “The map to Skywalker, we know you found it. And now you are going to give it to the First Order.”

Lor San Tekka: “The First Order rose from the Dark Side. You did not.”

Kylo Ren: “I’ll show you the Dark Side.”

Lor San Tekka: “You may try. But you cannot deny the truth that is your family.”

Kylo Ren: “You’re so right.”

Finally agreeing with the elder, Kylo Ren springs into action. Igniting his lightsaber, he raises it above his head and attacks. San Tekka only has time to raise his arms in defense, covering his face, before he is cut down by the crackling red blade.

While I had mixed feelings about The Force Awakens the first time I saw it, the murder of Lor San Tekka was a moment that left me with no reservations. To be blunt, I thought it was brilliant. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a fan of gratuitous violence for the sake of entertainment. I do, however, appreciate a death which is meaningful, where the loss of life, even in its obvious brutality, adds to the story in a worthwhile way. And this is how I see the death of Lor San Tekka. While he is a very minor character in The Force Awakens, his murder- tied to the dialogue immediately preceding it – adds terrifying and frightening depth to Kylo Ren, this new villain in the Star Wars sequel trilogy.

A Closer Look

From the very outset of their conversation we learn something rather stunning: Kylo Ren and Lor San Tekka already know each other, and their connection clearly goes back years. Kylo Ren mocks the man’s age and appearance, a clear indication that he can recall at time when this old man was younger. But this ageist mockery opens Kylo Ren to a piercing retort from Lor San Tekka: “something far worse [than growing old] has happened to you.” If Kylo Ren knew a younger Lor San Tekka, then Lor San Tekka remembers when the villain was NOT an agent of darkness.

Ren does not take the bait. Instead, he immediately turns the conversation to what he is seeking, stating “You know what I’ve come for.” Instead of addressing Ren’s object of desire (undoubtedly the object given to Poe Dameron) San Tekka takes Ren’s words and flips them by going deeper into the personal connection. “I know where you come from,” he says, “before you called yourself Kylo Ren.” It was Kylo Ren who opened this dialogue by making it personal when he mocked the man’s age, but now Lor San Tekka has flipped-the-script, calling the villain’s adopted name/title into question by citing his knowledge of Ren’s life before his turn to darkness.

Again, Kylo Ren does not respond directly to San Tekka’s comment. Instead, he stares at the man and declares what he wants: “the map to Skywalker.” “We know you found it,” Ren continues, clearly annoyed as he begins pacing, “and now you are going to give it to the First Order.”  To this, Lor San Tekka flips Ren’s words once more, directing the conversation once more into their personal connection. “The First Order rose from the Dark Side,” he remarks, “you did not.” It is not just that Lor San Tekka knows villain’s real name, but he also knows the man calling himself “Kylo Ren” was raised in the Light Side.

This hits a nerve. Now, Kylo Ren deliberately moves in front of San Tekka so the two are once again face-to-face. “I’ll show you the Dark Side,” the villain declares, a clear threat meant to intimidate. Unsurprisingly, the threat does not have the effect Ren anticipates and the old man maintains his composure. Instead, San Tekka responds by acknowledging that Ren “may try” showing him the Dark Side, but that Ren “cannot deny the truth that is your family.”  It is now that Kylo Ren has had enough. “You’re so right,” he calmly responds and then viscously cuts Lor San Tekka down with his cross-guard lightsaber.

What makes Ren’s attack even more disturbing is the camera angle and movement suggests we are looking at Ren from Lor San Tekka’s perspective.
Gif Credit – Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

That Kylo Ren chooses this moment to kill Lor San Tekka, after the elder mentions Ren’s “family,” is telling. It is the most direct hint we are provided in the exchange regarding the identity of Kylo Ren, an identity which is revealed over the course of the film and reaches its climax in Act III. There is only one family Ren could possibly belong to, but it is also clear that Lor San Tekka and Kylo Ren have very different interpretations, differing “truths,” of that family’s story. And by murdering Lor San Tekka, Kylo Ren offers his interpretation, his truth.

Yet, this act is not only about Ren’s interpretation of family, it is also about his interpretation of self. With the ferocious stroke of his crackling red blade, Kylo Ren formally declares his identity as an unhinged monster who embraces the Dark Side of the Force. In the act of murder Kylo Ren proves that he is not the man Lor San Tekka once knew, and he wants nothing to do with who he was prior to his dark conversion. In this regard, the murder of Lor San Tekka is not just about a villain murdering a defenseless old man, an obvious act of evil which leaves little doubt about how this dark figure operates. No, it also symbolic, a way for the villain to kill his former self by-proxy. Through the murder of Lor San Tekka, Kylo Ren symbolically murders Ben Solo, and it should come as no surprise that as The Force Awakens progresses that Kylo Ren continuously seeks ways to destroy the man he once was, an obsession which ultimately culminates in another horrifying murder in the form of patricide.