Rogue One

Star Wars: 10 Characters Dathcha Never Interacts With

I recently came across two Star Wars…articles?…on cbr.com that left me genuinely dumbfounded. One is titled “10 Characters Obi-Wan Never Interacts With” and the other is “10 Characters Darth Vader Never Interacts With.” As the titles both imply, each goes on to list a variety of characters in Star Wars whom Obi-Wan and Darth Vader, respectively, never encounter. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not entirely opposed to pointing the obvious at times, particularly when presented in relation to a genuine question such as “did Obi-Wan Kenobi interact with Watto in The Phantom Menace?” Given the relative proximity to one another in the same film, both being in/around Mos Espa at the same time, it is a worthwhile question that one may ask and that can easily be answered with a resolute “No” followed by a short description. That in and of itself is fine, I have no problem with that.

What is NOT worthwhile and is, in fact, a complete and utter waste of everyone’s time is a list of random Star Wars characters from across the spectrum of films that one can easily say “never interacted” with literally any character an author chooses. In the list of “10 Characters Darth Vader Never Interacts With” the author…no, sorry, the “lister”…states that another character who “didn’t get a chance to met [their typo, not mine] Darth Vader is Qi’ra from Solo: A Star Wars Story.” Well, yeah, of course they didn’t “met” because Darth Vader isn’t even in the damn film and it is the ONLY film Qi’ra appears in. So why even put Qi’ra in the list!?!?!

Maybe if the lists were more focused, more directed towards a single Star Wars film that considered the major/minor characters Obi-Wan or Vader, respectively, never cross paths with, maybe that could be worthwhile. Perhaps then such a list could then be beneficial, at least adding something semi-interesting to a conversation about Star Wars. But that is not what these lists are for. No, the randomness of the lists belie their true purpose: both are just mundane filler with “Star Wars” in the title for another run-of-the-mill comic book site.

And so, to highlight how utterly pointless such drivel is I happily and annoyingly present to you “10 Characters Dathcha Never Interacts With.” Feel free to skip the list and go do something else. Like, literally anything else. You do not have to keep reading because nothing I present below will be worth your time. That is, unless, you are a fan of really bad jokes.

10/10 Dathcha Never Interacts with Director Orson Krennic

Why the hell would they interact? Dathcha is the Jawa who shoots R2-D2 on Tatooine in A New Hope while Orson Krennic is the Imperial Director of Advanced Weapons Research in Rogue One.

9/10 Wat Tambor and Dathcha Don’t Met One Another

Of course they don’t met! Dathcha is a Jawa in A New Hope and Wat Tambor he is the Skakoan leader of the Techno Union who signs Count Dooku’s treaty in Attack of the Clones. Wait, did the Jawas also sign the treaty? I’ll be back, I need to go suffer through the bad CGI and bland dialogue in Attack of the Clones to find out if Dathcha was one of the original Separatist leaders.

8/10 We never see Dathcha with Princess Leia

Now, let’s be clear…and this is REALLY important… both ARE in A New Hope. But no, they never cross paths, probably because Leia never actually goes Tatooine in the film. She just sends R2-D2 instead.

But hey, I guess that is something, right!?! Like, wow, Character A (Leia) interacts with Character B (R2-D2) who then interacts with Character C (Dathcha). That is wild! So Character A never meets Character C, but they have a connection through Character B!!!! Does that ever happen in other stories?

7/10 Dathcha and General Hux Don’t Have Team-Up to Solve Crimes

I was hoping to find a connection here but to no avail. This is probably because Dathcha is a Jawa in A New Hope and General Hux is a First Order officer who appears in the Sequel Trilogy. But I do think it is worth Lucasfilm giving these two a series on Disney+ where they team-up and solve crimes. It could be called “Jawa and First Order.” Give it a second and you’ll get the joke. Or not. Whatever.

6/10 Ahsoka Tano and Dathcha Haven’t Interacted…

…although, I have to be honest, they may have at this point. I don’t really know because I can’t keep track of Ahsoka Tano anymore. She seems to be everywhere in Star Wars all at once so at this point she and Dathcha could be best friends.

5/10 Dathcha and Darth Sidious Never Discuss the Dark Side of the Force

This one is just so obvious I’m not even gonna write anything else. Moving on…

4/10 Millard Fillmore and Dathcha Never Interact

Last I knew, the 13th President of the United States was not in A New Hope. Then again, maybe he was thrown into the film in one of the special editions of the Original Trilogy. I will have to go back and look more closely because maybe, just maybe, President Fillmore and Dathcha do interact and I have missed it. I will update this if I find anything…

3/10 Dathcha Doesn’t Fly with Gold Leader in the Battle of Yavin

Unfortunately, our brown robed Jawa friend never has the privilege of joining Jon Vander, aka Gold Leader, in the final battle of A New Hope. But it is a neat thought, right? Like, what IF Dathcha somehow survived the faux Tusken slaughter, stowed away on the Millennium Falcon, made his way to Yavin and jumped in the Y-Wing with Gold Leader!?! That would have made for an amazing and completely unnecessary Star Wars twist!

Actually, come to think of it, that might already be one of the short stories in “From a Certain Point of View.” I wouldn’t know, though, because I never read the anthology.

2/10 Datcha Didn’t Participate in the Immaculate Reception

Dathcha was not playing for either the Oakland Raiders or Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1972 AFC Divisional Playoffs. So there was really no way for him to be part of one of the greatest plays in American Football history. Although I wonder if George Lucas was watching and the play inspired him to create the Jawas! Now that is a really REALLY dumb thought but I am gonna hold out hope that it might be true.

1/10 Finally, Dathcha never interacts with Obi-Wan Kenobi OR Darth Vader…

…OR DOES HE!?!?!?!

No, no he doesn’t.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! If you made it this far I hope you enjoyed what you read and do be sure to check back in for my next post: 10 Star Wars Characters the Rancor Never Eats

Star Wars: On the Front Lines (Review)

Ever since it was published in 2017 I had my sights set on Star Wars: On the Front Lines. I am a sucker for Star Wars reference books, having spent countless hours of my life immersing myself in the minutiae of the Star Wars universe found in these source books. But I did not buy On the Front Lines when it first came out, instead opting to wait to purchase it. Recently, though, the book was gifted to me and needing something new to read I decided to dig in. And, I am happy to report, On the Front Lines definitely did not disappoint.

Primarily detailing battles from The Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War, but also one from the Age of Resistance, On the Front Lines takes readers quite literally to the front lines of some of the most important engagements in Star Wars. While author Daniel Wallace limits the number of battles that are explored – a perfectly reasonable decision considering how many battles are in Star Wars – he never-the-less chose one battle to examine from every live-action and animated Star Wars story to date. In fact, the only notable exception is Star Wars: Rebels, with no engagement from that series being discussed. Here is a list of battles that the author examines:

The Battle of Naboo (The Phantom Menace)
The Battle of Geonosis (Attack of the Clones)
The Battle of Christophsis (The Clone Wars movie)
The Battle of Ryloth (The Clone Wars animated show)
The Battle of Coruscant (Revenge of the Sith)
The Battle of Scarif (Rogue One)
The Battle of Yavin (A New Hope)
The Battle of Hoth (The Empire Strikes Back)
The Battle of Endor (Return of the Jedi)
The Battle of Jakku (Various Sources)
The Battle of Starkiller Base (The Force Awakens)

That Wallace chooses well-known battles from the Star Wars saga, battles that we have actually seen in film and on television, makes it easy for both casual and die-hard fans to digest and enjoy this book. Interestingly though, the clash I found myself most interested in reading about was the Battle of Jakku. As you can see from the list above, this is the only engagement discussed in the On the Front Lines that has never been depicted on-screen. Putting his penmanship and imagination to work, Wallace pulls from multiple sources (novels such as Lost Stars and Aftermath: Empire’s End) to piece together details about this relatively unknown fight. In doing so, he presents a vivid picture of the final battle in the Galactic Civil War, a brutal slugfest between the New Republic and Imperial Remnant that leaves wreckage and bodies littering the sandy dunes of the remote world.

: Want to know how all those derelict Star Destroyers ended up on the surface of Jakku? On the Front Lines provides some context.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

While I found myself intensely fascinated by Wallace’s presentation of the Battle of Jakku this does not mean I found the other battles any less interesting. Far from it! In every chapter, Wallace draws on the source material available – movies, television shows, books, comics, etc. – to craft a unique and fairly comprehensive picture of each engagement. Granted, there are points where Wallace does leave out information, or gives details only a cursory glance. For example, the space battle which takes place above Naboo in from The Phantom Menace is only briefly mentioned, with the focus instead being entirely on the ground battle between the Gungans and the Trade Federation’s Droid Army. As well, the space battle over Ryloth, depicted in The Clone Wars Season 1, Episode 19 (“Storm Over Ryloth”), where Ahsoka Tano uses a Marl Sabl maneuver to defeat the Separatist blockade, is entirely ignored. For some die-hard fans of Star Wars, these and other omissions may prove annoying but for this die-hard fan, I found myself enjoying what was in the book rather than brooding over what was not.

That being said, I can admit that I wish the book had even more in it. This is not a criticism, though. Rather, it is an acknowledgment that I really enjoyed the way each battle is presented, with a combination of big picture information, such as why the confrontation took place and how it unfolds, along with more focused detail on things like armor, weaponry, vehicles and tactics. Every chapter also offers little asides about individuals from each engagement, specific commanders from both sides, and a handful of soldiers and/or pilots who displayed incredible courage during the fight. And, to top it off, every chapter is loaded with captivating and wholly unique images courtesy of four superb illustrators (Adrián Rodriguez, Thomas Wievegg, Aaron Riley, and Fares Maese).

Finally, I would be remiss if I failed to mention that On the Front Lines contains a lot of information that I never knew about, or had never even considered,, about each of these Star Wars battles. In closing, then, I thought I would pick just one bit of of insight that I learned from this book. And what comes to mind immediately is a detail about The Battle of Christophsis. Or rather, aftermath of Christophsis. As we see in The Clone Wars movie, towards the end of this fight, Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi tricks the Separatist General Whorm Loathsom into believing that the Jedi intends to conditionally surrender his clone forces. However, this is a ruse, done with the hope of giving Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano more time to deactivate the Separatist deflector shields. Kenobi succeeds in his plan, and actually captures Loathsom moments later, but as Wallace writes,

“General Kenobi’s false surrender at Christophsis was a boon to the Separatist-controlled media, who viewed the incident as clear evidence of the Republic’s duplicity. Almost no conditional surrenders were offered by either side for the remainder of the war” (pg. 31).

Kenobi may have been successful in that moment, but his “false surrender” was not without long-term consequence. As the Clone War intensified, it would be the clones themselves, the actual soldiers doing the fighting on the front lines, who would pay the price for Kenobi’s actions.

Continuity Confusion in The Last Jedi

The overarching plot to The Last Jedi is pretty straight-forward:

Fleeing their hidden base on D’Qar just as a First Order fleet shows up, the four vessels in the Resistance fleet zips into hyperspace following a deadly battle. However, when they exit hyperspace, the First Order fleet also re-appears and it quickly dawns on General Leia Organa that the enemy has tracked them through hyperspace, a concept thought to be impossible! Having only enough fuel for one more hyperspace jump, and knowing that the First Order will just track them through hyperspace once more, the Resistance fleet simply maintains a steady pace, chased by the Star Destroyers of the First Order but staying out of distance from their heavy guns.

With the First Order fleet chasing the Resistance fleet, writer/director Rian Johnson proceeds to tack subplots onto the pursuit. The first is Poe Dameron’s annoyance with Vice Admiral Holdo after she takes over for General Organa, an annoyance steming from being kept out of the loop regarding Holdo’s plan to escape the First Order. In turn, his annoyance will eventually lead to outright mutiny on the part of Dameron and a handful of co-conspirators. The second subplot, which is tied directly to the fleet pursuit AND Dameron’s annoyance, is the side-journey Finn and Rose take to Canto Bight in order to find a code-breaker who can disable the First Order’s hyperspace tracker.

There are, of course, other aspects to the plot of The Last Jedi which primarily revolve around Rey, Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren, and Supreme Leader Snoke. For the sake of this post, though, I am uninterested in analyzing these other plot elements. This is not to suggest they are unworthy of consideration. Far from it. In fact, I do look at these other plot points in a prior piece titled “Reflections on The Last Jedi.” Here, though, I want to focus solely on the plot as described above, namely the fact that the movie centers on the First Order fleet chasing the Resistance fleet. And, in doing so, I wish to highlight two points of continuity confusion which I find rather apparent in this plotline.

Points of Continuity Confusion

An Imperial research initivative first teased in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story which Jyn Erso comes across as she searches the Scariff database for the Death Star plans, hyperspace tracking resurfaces in The Last Jedi as the critical piece of technology which the First Order uses to follow the Resistance fleet. Without it, the First Order would have been incapable of pursuing the General Organa’s forces after the evacuation and battle of D’Qar. The Resistance, obviously surprised by the First Order’s capability to track them through hyperspace, must then turn to a different plan to escape their adversary.

: The First Order’s hyperspace tracker.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

That hyperspace tracking is mentioned in Rogue One and is then used as a critical plot device in The Last Jedi is, in and of itself, a worthwhile and interesting point of Star Wars continuity. Never-the-less, I cannot help but be confused by the use of hyperspace tracking in the The Last Jedi in one very specific way:

If the First Order can track the Resistance through hyperspace, then how come they didn’t exit hyperspace slightly ahead, and not directly behind, the Resistance fleet?

This is a question that I have struggled to fully grasp ever since watching The Last Jedi. While I certainly understand, and can appreciate, that the fleet chase is what provides the movie a core part of its narrative, it seems rather silly that the First Order would willingly exit hyperspace at a point that is not advantageous to their primary cause: destroying the Resistance. One would presume that hyperspace tracking enables the First Order to exit lightspeed behind AND ahead of the Resistance, thus ensuring that they are trapped and destroyed.

Yet, exciting lightspeed directly behind the Resistance fleet is what the First Order chooses to do. Okay then, fair enough. But this is also where ANOTHER piece of continuity confusion comes into play – the “Microjump.” In brief, the concept of the microjump is one that has only been used a handful of times in the Star Wars Canon, but it is, never-the-less, a critical and intriguing capability. Essentially, it is the ability to make a tactical jump into hyperspace and travel a very short, precise distance. In effect, a ship enters and then immediately exits lightspeed.

Canonically, the microjump is used for the first time in The Clone Wars Season Two episode “Grievous Intrigue” when Anakin Skywalker makes a tactical hyperspace jump into the middle of the Battle of Saleucami. In Solo: A Star Wars Story, the Millennium Falcon performs a microjump as it is traversing The Channel through the Akkadese Maelstrom towards the planet Kessel. As well, microjumps are also used in three Star Wars novels: Tarkin, Thrawn: Alliances, and Thrawn: Treason. Admittedly, the microjump is a concept that is not widely used by Star Wars storytellers and prior to the release of The Last Jedi, only The Clone Wars and Tarkin provided examples as Solo: A Star Wars Story and the two Thrawn novels were released after The Last Jedi. Then again, prior to The Last Jedi, the concept of hyperspace tracking had only ever been mentioned, and never before used, in any Star Wars tales. And so, this leads me to another, pretty obvious question:

After exiting hyperspace behind the Resistance, why didn’t the First Order fleet – even just one Star Destroyer in the fleet – perform a microjump to get ahead of the Resistance fleet?

Again, I am confused that a fleet chase is even necessary in The Last Jedi considering that the very concept of the microjump provides an easily accessible maneuver for the First Order to trap their enemy. In fact, multiple Star Destroyers could jump in multiple directions, creating a web to ensure that every direction in which the enemy chooses to travel is covered. And yet, for whatever reason, the First Order chooses to just slowly and methodically chase their enemy, simply waiting for the Resistance ships to run out of fuel…

Okay, fine. I will begrudgingly accept that for whatever reason the First Order leadership, obsessed as it is with destroying the Resistance, chooses not to take advantage of the ability to easily get ahead of the Resistance fleet using a microjump. But the thing is, this is only one side of the coin. You see, even if we presume that the First Order just chooses NOT to perform a microjump, the Resistance leadership – namely General Organa and Vice Admiral Holdo – have no way of knowing if any First Order Star Destroyers are already ahead of their fleet.

Seriously, just think about it for a second. This aspect of the plot of The Last Jedi is premised on the notion that the First Order can, and has, tracked the Resistance through hyperspace. Even in figuring this out, the Resistance has absolutely no way of knowing if any First Order Star Destroyers jumped PAST them and are lying in wait. Further, Organa and Holdo have no way of knowing if, at any moment, the First Order will perform a microjump to get ahead of their fleet. In other words, the actions of the Resistance leadership really make no sense given that they should be able to deduce the possibility that there might be now, or will be very soon, First Order ships directly ahead of them.

: The Raddus
Photo Credit: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

And this is even more confusing when we consider that the Resistance plan is quite literally straight-forward: traveling in a line which will take them past the planet Crait where they will secretly slip away in transports while their main cruiser – the Raddus – continues traveling in that straight-line. Seriously, that is the plan. Go in a straight-line past the ONLY planet they can possibly escape to while ignoring the fact that the First Order could just microjump to Crait before they even arrive.

Yet, the thing is, The Last Jedi completely and utterly ignores this possibility which is precisely why I am confused by the fleet chase. It isn’t that a fleet chase is an implausible plotline, or something that has never happened in Star Wars (see: The Clone Wars Season 1, Episode 2 “Destroy Malevolence”). Rather, it’s the basic fact that the film fails to account for the canonical concepts- hyperspace tracking and microjumping – which render the purpose of the entire chase unnecessary in the first place. At the very least, The Last Jedi should have included a few lines of dialogue on the part of the First Order and the Resistance stating WHY the First Order fleet did not exit hyperspace ahead of the Resistance and why the First Order fleet will not microjump ahead of the Resistance fleet.

That’s it, that is ALL the film needed to account for these possibilities. Just a few lines of extra dialogue about hyperspace tracking, and some brief explanation of microjumps, would have sufficed. Except that would have required a little extra work on the part of Rian Johnson and the Lucasfilm Story Group, but let’s be honest, they were too busy acting self-satisfied about The Last Jedi on Twitter.

I have the time, though, so here are some possible exchanges that could have been added to the film. Enjoy (and leave a comment below):

[Scene: Bridge of Star Destroyer Finalizer after exiting hyperspace behind Resistance]

General Hux: “Our tracker worked perfectly. The Resistance fleet is doomed!”

Captain Peavey: “Genera Hux, the captain of the Harbinger is requesting permission to perform a microjump ahead of the Resistance fleet.”

General Hux: “Permission denied. Organa and her scum will not escape us.”

[Scene: Secondary Battle Bridge of the Raddus]

Poe Dameron: “Vice Admiral, Commander Dameron. With our current fuel consumption there’s a very limited amount of time we can stay out of range of those Star Destroyers.”

Vice Admiral Holdo: “Very kind of you to make me aware.”

Dameron: “We also don’t know if the First Order jumped out ahead of us and I’d like to not walk into a trap.”

Holdo: “That is certainly a possibility, although I think you give General…Hugs…too much tactical credit.”

Dameron: “Okkkkkay, so, what we are gonna do to shake them? What’s our plan?”

[Scene: Medical Bay in the Raddus]

Finn: “So the First Order is only tracking us from one Destroyer, the lead one.”

Rose: “It tracked us to the exact spot we left hyperspace, which must mean the tracker entirely controls the navicomputer once it is turned on. The First Order couldn’t jump past us because the tracker is locked once the jump to lightspeed takes place.”

Poe: “They could only exit hyperspace behind us…but they could still perform a microjump and get ahead of us now.”

Finn: “Right.”

Poe: “Okay, I think I get it….so we blow up the lead Destroyer and zip away before we run into any other Destroyers that are waiting for us.”

Favorite Star Wars Music (by Film)

A long time ago…in 2017…I wrote a piece detailing why “The Imperial March” is my absolute favorite musical score in the Star Wars franchise. This admission came as little surprise to many of my trove of followers/readers as I have often professed my cultish admiration for The Empire Strikes Back (ESB) on this site. It stood to reason that The Imperial March would top my list considering the fact that the iconic anthem for the Galactic Empire/Darth Vader was first introduced in Episode V. Plus, given my “Casterfoian” obsession with the Empire, it stood to reason that I would likewise adopt the score as my all-time favorite.

While my unadulterated affection for all things ESB stands firm, and “The Imperial March” continues to receive constant replays on my Spotify account, there are never-the-less many other pieces of Star Wars music that have been elevated to the top of my musical mind. Hardly a shock – I am positive you can say the same if you happen to be a Star Wars fan – I wanted to take the opportunity to share a musical composition from each Star Wars film that I hold near and dear to my heart. For the sake of brevity, I have only chosen one from each film and decided to forgo long-winded explanations detailing why I love each piece, in large part because music is so damn personal it would take some of the fun out of it. Still, I may do a post for each at some point if the Force moves me to do so. We shall see.

Enjoy and be sure to comment with your own “faves” list!

A New Hope – “Tales of a Jedi Knight/Learn About the Force”

The Empire Strikes Back – “Yoda’s Theme”

While my heart will always be dedicated to “The Imperial March,” I decided to share another score from ESB in this particular list to mix things up a bit.

Return of the Jedi – “Leia’s New/Light of the Force”

The Phantom Menace – “The Droid Invasion and the Appearance of Darth Maul”

**Surprise! You were expecting “Duel of the Fates” weren’t you? Here is the deal: I love “Duel of the Fates” with a crazy passion but I likewise love “The Droid Invasion and the Appearance of Darth Maul.” I had to pick one and so I went with my gut. Besides, just listen to how the piece shifts when Maul is introduced! Holy frick that is haunting!!!!

Attack of the Clones – “Across the Stars”

Revenge of the Sith – “The Birth of the Twins and Padmé’s Destiny”

The Clone Wars – “Battle of Christophsis”

The Force Awakens – “The Jedi Steps”

**I don’t care much for sentimentality but I readily admit that this piece gives me the feels. Like “Tales of a Jedi Knight/Learn About the Force”, “The Jedi Steps” packs an emotional punch by forcing me to imagine the Jedi Order, now a dying remnant, who once served and protected the galaxy far, far away. Between hearing this piece, and watching Rey literally walk the steps of the ancient Jedi, I was brought to tears in my first viewing of The Force Awakens.**

Rogue One – “Your Father Would Be Proud”

The Last Jedi – “The Spark”

Solo: A Star Wars Story – “Savareen Stand-Off”

*Leave a comment with your thoughts about my list or share your own favorites!!!*

Haikuesday: Jyn Erso

Rogue One: The Movie
Rogue One: The Rebel Call Sign
Rogue One: Jyn Erso

First year of Clone Wars.
Separatist world of Vallt.
Jyn Erso is born.

Mission on Alpinn.
Jyn travels with her mother.
Has and Nari, too.

Hiding on Lah’mu,
eight-year old Jyn Erso with
her loving parents.

“Koodie” the Tooka.
“Stormie,” “Wuzzwork,” and “Tinta.”
Some of young Jyn’s toys.

Star Wars Trivia:
Tookas are a subspecies
of the Loth-cat. Neat!

Stormie – stormtrooper.
Wuzzwork – looks like a Wookiee.
Tinta – a Tauntaun.

To Jyn: “Trust the Force.”
To Jyn: “I love you Stardust.”
Lyra and Galen.

Lyra’s sacrifice.
Jyn watches her mother die.
She runs and she hides.

A lonely bunker.
Jyn waits for a friendly face.
Reb: Saw Gerrara.

Age: eight to sixteen.
In the care of Gerrara.
Partisan Rebel.

Scene: planet Garel.
“Pick on someone your own size,”
Jyn tells some troopers.

A Heart of Kyber.
Erso rescues a Loth-cat
for a little girl.

Sabine runs into
an accidental ally.
Yup, it’s Jyn Erso!!!

I wonder why Jyn
was just hanging around on
the planet Garel.

Water drips. drips. drips.
Imperial prison cell.
A Rebel Rises.

Droid: K-2SO
A painful introduction.
“Congratulations.”

Liana Hallik?
Nope, that isn’t her real name!
She is Jyn Erso!!!

“The luxury of
political opinions,”
Jyn has never had.

Mission to Jedha.
Cassian, Jyn, and K-2.
An occupied world.

Standing in a crowd.
Chirrut Îmwe can see Jyn
even though he’s blind.

Pendra Siliu.
Crying, caught in a battle.
Rescued by Erso.

Kicking trooper ass,
Jyn turns, shoots a KX droid…
…it’s not K-2. Phew!!!

Saw’s paranoia.
Convinced of Jyn’s betrayal.
Momentarily.

Eadu Extraction.
Jyn and Galen reunite
as tragedy strikes.

Pleading for action:
“Rebellions are built on hope.”
Turned down by Rebels.

Rallying the troops.
Jyn leads a mission to steal
dreaded Death Star plans.

Scarif bound shuttle.
Jyn grasps her Kyber crystal.
The Will of the Force.

Citadel Tower.
With Cassian and K-2,
Jyn nears infamy.

How do they get in?
Clever disguises of course!
Jyn the Technician.

Hyperspace Tracking.
Navigational Systems.
Stardust, that’s the one.

Stardust discovers
that Project Stardust will turn
Death Star to star dust.

Warrior Daughter.
Jyn, standing before Krennic,
declares who she is.

Mission Accomplished.
Plans transmitted to the fleet.
A Heart of Kyber.

Scene: on Scarif beach.
“Your father would be proud, Jyn.”
Two friends embrace death.

From a hidden base,
Rebels led by Jyn Erso
kicked ass and stole plans.

Star Wars: A New Hope
“Rebellions are built on hope.”
Jyn embodies hope.

Haikuesday is a monthly series on The Imperial Talker, a new post with poetic creations coming on the first Tuesday of each month. The haiku topic is chosen by voters on Twitter so be sure to follow @ImperialTalker so you can participate in the voting. Now, check out these past Haikuesday posts:

Droids (February 2017)

Ahsoka Tano (March 2017)

Darth Vader (April 2017)

The Battle of Scarif (May 2017)

The Truce at Bakura (June 2017)

Queen Amidala (July 2017)

Ryloth (August 2017)

Cloud City (September 2017)

General Grievous (October 2017)

Millennium Falcon (November 2017)

Poe Dameron (December 2017)

The Battle of Umbara (January 2018)

Hondo Ohnaka (February 2018)

The Talker Toy Challenge

In August, I published a piece titled “Star Wars Toy Giveaway Challenge.” Posted in conjunction with Force Friday II and the release of the toys associated with The Last Jedi, I explained in it that I had been stockpiling Star Wars toys which I would be giving away to children in need. In turn, I also challenged readers to do the same thing, getting involved in what I dubbed The Talker Toy Challenge (#TalkerToyChallenge). With the holiday season upon us, I decided now would be a good time to return to the topic of giving in the hope that YOU will get involved in The Talker Toy Challenge and help me bring a small bit of Star Wars joy to kids who are less fortunate.

So, how does The Talker Toy Challenge work? Simple: You buy Star Wars toys, find a charitable organization that takes toy donations, and you drop them off to said organization.

While I have chosen Toys for Tots, an annual toy drive conducted by the United States Marines Corps Reserve as the destination for the toys I have collected, there are many other organizations that take donations and will distribute toys to children in need. That said, while the spirit of The Talker Toy Challenge is grounded in my own love of Star Wars, it is equally my hope that my own actions – and, admittedly, my prodding with periodic posts – will spur others to get involved with helping others in some way, shape, or form. Naturally, I would love for thousands of Star Wars fans to buy great Star Wars toys and give them away to kids in need. However, compassion cannot be codified in a single way, and whatever way YOU choose to get involved with helping others is worthy of admiration in my book.

Still, if you do get involved with The Talker Toy Challenge, I would love to know! If you have a Star Wars related blog or podcast (even if Star Wars is not your sole focus) and get involved in the Challenge, let me know and I will add a link to your site below. If you are on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or some other social media platform, post a picture or two of the toys you will be donating to kiddos (and be sure to use the hashtag #TalkerToyChallenge). Of course, while these are ways to help spread the word about the Challenge, I should note that these are hardly requirements for involvement. If you just feel inspired to buy a Star Wars toy (or any toy!) and donate without any fanfare, that is perfect too. No matter how you get involved, I hope you will take the opportunity to buy a Star Wars toy and hand it off to a child in need.

Talker Toy Challenge Supporters

Directing Star Wars

Reporting Star Wars news is not my thing, in large part because there are more than enough sites – official sites and fan sites alike – that deliver a near up-to-the-minute stream of happenings in the Star Wars franchise. Yet, I felt compelled to say something about the recent announcement from Lucasfilm that J.J. Abrams has accepted the offer to write/direct Star Wars Episode IX. While Episode IX was originally slated to be the brainchild of Jurassic World writer/director Colin Trevorrow, the studio parted ways with Trevorrow, thus paving the way for Abrams to return to the Sequel Trilogy he launched with The Force Awakens.

That Abrams is reentering the Star Wars universe is neither surprising or all that controversial. For the studio (and parent company Disney), bringing a known and successful variable back to the writers/directors chair makes perfect sense. Still, with the announcement I could not help but feel a pang of dismay, having hoped that the head of Lucasfilm, Kathleen Kennedy, would choose a woman to write/direct Episode IX in the wake of Trevorrow’s dismissal. Abrams may have been the safe and reasonable pick, but choosing a woman could have injected an entirely new and fresh perspective into the Sequel Trilogy, particularly to round out the heroine journey of Rey. But alas, that ship of possibility has sailed (unless, of course, Abrams crashes and burns, prompting a third writer/director to be named…a doubtful prospect).

And so, as we move forward, towards the end of the Sequel Trilogy and into a new era of storytelling that will certainly follow – not only with continued standalone films but also, perhaps, a fourth Star Wars trilogy – I am left wondering: when will Lucasfilm finally hand the writing/directorial reigns over to an accomplished woman? Certainly, there are an endless stream of successful women adding to the Star Wars universe already – authors, editors, producers, production managers, sound mixers, makeup artists, wardrobe and costume designers, artists, actresses, and more. Yet, the most coveted position, that of director, is yet to be filled. Will Ava DuVernay, Patty Jenkins, Kathryn Bigelow, or another accomplished woman ever be given the chance/opportunity to bring their experiences and worldviews into the Star Wars franchise? My hope is yes, my gut tells me yes, but my heart is tired of waiting.

You might, in turn, wonder: why do you care, Jeff? It will happen someday, so why not let bygones be bygones and just go with the Star Wars flow? I do not deny it, it will happen. I know it will happen, it is only a matter of time (and there is a prime opportunity to really mix things up with a woman directing the upcoming Obi-Wan Kenobi standalone film). But I do care because I am frankly tired of people like me – translation: men – getting all of the g-damn credit for the Star Wars franchise’s pinnacle achievements. This is neither a slight towards Lucasfilm head Kathleen Kennedy (whom deserves great respect for overseeing the franchise) or against those countless women behind the scenes (or literally in the scenes as actresses). Rather, it is a deeply held desire to sit in a theater and watch a Star Wars movie that does not simply present female characters (and male counterparts) adhering to philosophies that seek, and teach us as viewers, to dismantle normative and oppressive ideologies, but that does this most loudly when a woman’s name appears on the screen as writer/director.

Lest I be interpreted incorrectly, I do not only desire to watch Star Wars films directed by a woman, but also films written/produced/directed by all varieties of people, men and women alike. The experiences and worldviews of women, people of color, persons of different religious and ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations, and more WILL bring new, fresh perspectives to the films we experience in theaters. I truly hope, nay I pray, that those Star Wars stories are not far, far away.

Star Wars Toy Giveaway Challenge

With the arrival of Force Friday II on September 1, 2017, “a global fan event celebrating the launch of Star Wars: The Last Jedi products,” I felt the desire to jump back into the Star Wars toy/collectible conversation once again by doing something special. For those of you who regularly read this site, you know that I don’t often discuss Star Wars products, having only done so a handful of times in previous posts (you can search the site for them if interested). Given the understandable excitement surrounding the new, soon-to-arrive Star Wars film, Force Friday II is a way and a day for fans of all ages to begin adding The Last Jedi merchandise – action figures and Black Series figures, Lego sets, Funko Pops, etc. – to their collections. And, in the spirit of Force Friday II, and as a way of adding to the excitement surrounding it, I thought I’d share the details of my very own Star Wars Toy Giveaway Challenge, a giveaway challenge that I plan to extend long after Force Friday II is over.

The Giveaway

For the past month, I’ve collected Star Wars toys with the sole intention of giving them away. Thanks to an over-abundance of toys associated with The Force Awakens, Rogue One, and Star Wars Rebels being on store shelves, and the need for stores to clear their shelves for The Last Jedi merchandise, all of the toys I have purchased have been on clearance. As a personal rule, I never buy any Star Wars products at full price, and purchasing toys on clearance has actually maximized my ability to give away even more!

So, all that being said, here is the moment of truth, the details about how my Star Wars Toy Giveaway Challenge will work. In short, I am giving all of those toys that are pictured above to Toys for Tots, a program run by the United States Marine Corps Reserve which distributes toys to children in families that struggle to purchase gifts at Christmas time. Once the Christmas season rolls around, I am taking all of the toys I have collected – the those pictured and others I’ll be purchasing – to a local Toys for Tots drop-off location so I can, in a small way, help children from low-income families add to/create their own Star Wars collection.

And the Challenge is for you to do something similar.

The Challenge

Here’s the thing: I am blessed to live in comfort, with the ability and means to spend some of my disposable income adding Star Wars “stuff” to my already massive collection of, well, “stuff.” But the thing is I don’t need every item that is produced with a Star Wars label, and there are many children who come from families that struggle financially. While there is a tendency to judge these families, and particularly their parents, I refrain from it and have no time for it. Love and compassion are non-negotiable for me, especially when children are involved. In wanting to give away Star Wars toys to families in need, who struggle during the Christmas season to provide gifts for their children, it is my hope that I can bring some small bit of happiness to some of those kids. Star Wars has been, and will continue to be, a massive part of my life, of my self-identity and joy, but what I want to do – what I will continue to do in the future – is give away Star Wars toys so that children in need can experience that same joy.

My hope and challenge to you, my magnanimous reader, is that you will follow suit and do something similar. Whether you go out and buy one Star Wars toy, or ten, or twenty, or a hundred, I hope you will stand in the toy aisle at a store, pick up a Star Wars action figure or Lego set, and say “I don’t need this but there is a little girl or boy out there who deserves it.” Or maybe you will pull something out of your own collection to give away. Or perhaps you know a family in need and are willing to take them shopping, to buy the gifts – any gifts, not just toys! – for their kids at Christmas time or for a birthday.

Oh, and this needn’t be limited to Star Wars toys either. While I intend to give away Star Wars toys because they reflect something I love, there are so many other toys representing different franchises that kids would love to play with! The point of this challenge is, quite simply, to spread some love, and if you do that by giving away non-Star Wars toys to kids in need then I say more power to ya!

It is also my hope that other blogs and podcasts – be they Star Wars oriented or not – will challenge their readers/listeners to give away toys to children in need. And if you don’t have a blog or podcast, then I hope you’ll challenge people on social media, or in your non-online life, to participate.

Lastly, if you do participate, tweet me a pic (@ImperialTalker) of the toys you plan to give away using the hashtag #TalkerToyChallenge. The more visible we are, the more we can encourage others to join in!

Tunesday: Jyn Erso

It was only recently that I discovered Wildwood Kin, an alt-folk trio from Exeter, England. Listening to a Spotify-suggested playlist, I suddenly found myself surprised and mesmerized by the three-part harmonies of the women and their beautifully blended instruments in the song “Warrior Daughter.” As the music washed over me like a wave, the lyrics to “Warrior Daughter” took root in my mind, intertwining as they did with Jyn Erso, the hero in the Star Wars film Rogue One. Art moves and affects us all in different ways, and in the case of “Warrior Daughter” the raw power and symbolism in the song about a daughter who has “been made warrior” led me back to Jyn Erso, to her relationship with her parents Lyra and Galen, and her selfless actions to steal the Death Star plans.

While I dare not set out to interpret every way I view Jyn Erso as the “Warrior Daughter” described in the song, wishing instead to allow you to create connections for yourself if you so choose, I am never-the-less motivated to share one association that captured me. In short, I could not help but imagine the song’s narrator being one, or even both, of Jyn’s parents describing the “strength and courage” that “lies within your [her] heart.” To this we can add the lyrics “you have been made warrior/for your heart belongs to me” which, to me, reinforce the notion that as Jyn grew up – after she had physically lost her parents as a child – they were never-the-less always a part of who she was, her heart belonging to the parents she loved.

On this point, I am reminded of Jyn’s declaration to Director Krennic on the Scarif Tower late in Rogue One. When Krennic emphatically inquires “Who are you?” our hero declares (with strength and courage) that “I am Jyn Erso, daughter of Galen and Lyra.” I am Jyn Erso; I am the warrior daughter of Galen and Lyra. Krennic might have been responsible for the pain of physically removing her parents from her life, but he never removed them from who she was, for her heart always belonged to them, and they have always resided within her.

Listen to “Warrior Daughter,” check out the lyrics, and leave a comment either here (or on Twitter @ImperialTalker) with your thoughts on the song I chose for Jyn Erso and also to share songs you would choose for her.

Lyrics to “Warrior Daughter”

you are a warrior

they call to me and strike at night
clothe yourself with all the rough alikes
and though i made you gentle for a time
your spirit’s strong enough to fight

you are a warrior
strength and courage lies within your heart
daughter, can’t you see your power never fades
for my armour keeps you safe

ride ahead; you fight for what is yours
so take your sword; protector of them all
the heart may be a battle in its own
don’t hesitate; you’ll never be alone

you are a warrior
strength and courage lies within your heart
daughter, can’t you see your power never fades

you are a warrior
strength and courage lies within your heart
oh oh oh oh

you will not grow weary
you will never cease
you have been made warrior
for your heart belongs to me

for your heart belongs to me
for your heart belongs to me

oh oh oh oh oh
for your heart belong to me
for your heart belongs to
for your heart belongs to me

for your heart belongs to me
for your heart belongs to
for your heart belongs to me

**Lyrics taken from musixmatch.com**

Tunesday is a new series on The Imperial Talker where I present a song that I believe reflects a Star Wars character in some way, shape, or form. New Tunesday posts will arrive on Tuesdays with complete infrequency.

Haikuesday: The Battle of Scarif

Scene: Planet Scarif;
Imperial paradise
guarded by a shield.

Clearance codes approved
Rogue One descends to Scarif.
Hope and death await.

Patrolling the beach
Stormtroopers are caught off-guard
by stealthy Rebels.

Charges are planted.
“Light it up” Andor commands.
Explosions ensue.

Shocked look on his face,
Krennic takes charge and deploys
Scarif garrison.

Fighting on Scarif!
Private Weems informs Mothma.
Mobilization!

Yavin to Scarif
should be a long trip but there’s
a film plot to move.

Haiku Addendum:
Hyperspace travel times are
all over the place.

On Scarif beaches
Rebel troopers battle the
Empire’s soldiers.

In the Citadel
Erso, Andor, and K-2
search for Death Star plans.

Trapped on the beach by
AT-ACT Walkers.
Baze, Chirrut, Rebels.

Above Scarif base
the Alliance Fleet arrives,
Raddus in command.

“Those are Rebel ships!”
Imperials stunned and shocked.
“Get Admiral Gorin!”

Blue Squadron descends.
Red Squadron and Gold Squadron
will defend the Fleet.

Scarif shield gate closed.
Rogue One trapped but hope remains:
Bodhi’s time to shine.

ACT Attacked!
Look to yonder sky dear friends!
Blue Squadron arrives!

Outside of the vault,
K-2 defends his friends by
laying down his “life”

Raging space battle
TIE Fighters, X-Wings, Y-Wings.
Oh Look! There’s The Ghost!

Haiku Addendum:
General Syndulla kicks ass
and takes some Imp names!

Red Five in trouble…
…poor guy, he lived and he died
for A New Hope’s plot.

Down on Scarif beach
Bodhi Rook does IT work
and makes a phone call.

Led by Dutch Vander,
the Y-Wings of Gold Squadron
assault the shield gate.

U-Wings reinforce
Rogue One rebels with fresh troops.
Time to find a switch.

Director Krennic
orders his Death Trooper guards
into the battle.

Switch in sight but trapped.
Rebels falling left and right.
Arise, ye with faith!

“I’m one with the Force…”
All is as the Force wills it.
“…the Force is with me.”

Rebel Fleet contact!
Rook tells Raddus to destroy
the Scarif shield gate.

Armed with a grenade,
a Shoretrooper destroys the
shuttle and Bodhi.

Cradling his friend,
faith returns to Baze Malbus.
The Force is with him.

Attacked by Y-Wings,
Persecutor is crippled.
Raddus has a plan.

Rammed by a Corvette,
Persecutor pushed into
Intimidator.

Death Star plans in hand.
Jyn Erso climbs the tower.
Determined hero.

At Citadel’s top,
Jyn stares down a TIE Fighter.
Whoops, that scene was cut.

“Who are you,” he asks.
“I’m Jyn Erso,” she declares.
Neither see Andor.

The plans transmitted
just as the Death Star arrives.
The Fleet must retreat.

Single Reactor.
Tarkin targets Scarif base.
Two heroes embrace.

As Rebels retreat
the Devastator arrives.
Darth Vader hath come.

Abandoning ship,
Rebel soldiers desperately
attempt to flee Death.

Death Star plans on board,
the Tantive IV escapes with
royalty and hope.

Civil war rages.
Striking from a hidden base,
Rebels land a win.

During the battle
Rebel spies steal secret plans
of moon sized Death Star.

Empire pursues
the royal host who harbors
freedom-giving plans.