Probe Droid

The 10 Sexiest Males in Star Wars

Let’s be honest, there are a lot of attractive guys in Star Wars, and while there are a lot of lists out there identifying the sexiest male (and sexiest female) characters, there are no lists offered by me. So naturally, I decided I needed to get in on the action and offer my own two cents on the subject. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to leave a comment with your own thoughts on the sexiest males in Star Wars.

10. The Toong podracer Ben Quadinaros. Athletes are sexy and Quadinaros is the hottest one in Star Wars.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menance

9. The Geonosian Archduke Poggle the Lesser. He should be called Poggle the Sexier because this dude is damn fine.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

8. The Twi’lek Senator Orn Free Ta. How could I not put a Twi’lek on the list? The species is so hypersexualized that it would be crazy not to include one!

Do you see how Mace Windu is looking at Orn Free Taa (the blue Twi’lek)? That, right there, is a man who knows an attractive Twi’lek when he sees one.
Photo Credit – Star Wars The Clone Wars Season 1, Episode 21: “Liberty on Ryloth”

7. The Wampa. Admittedly, The Empire Strikes Back is my favorite Star Wars film so I am slightly biased here. But come on, look at those muscles!

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

6. The Shawda Ubb Rappertunie. There was no way I was leaving the Growdi Harmonique player off this listen because musicians are soooooooooo hot!

Seriously, musicians are hot.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

5. The Imperial Probe Droid. Again, totally biased here. “Probe” is literally in the name. Need I say more?

This “Viper” can bite me anytime.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

4. The Skakoan Wat Tambor, Foreman of the Techno Union. A greedy, corporate tycoon he might be, but Tambor has it where it counts: in his bank account.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

3. The Parwan Derrown. Cad Bane once said Parwans, “…fill themselves up with some kind of gas and float around grabbing stuff with their tentacles.” And now I can’t stop thinking about all those tentacles and what they could be grabbing!

Photo Credit – Star Wars The Clone Wars Season 4, Episode 17: “The Box”

2. The Hutt Jabba Desilijic Tiure. Sure, he might be a crime boss, but Jabba the Hutt has his own palace and sail barge. A life of luxury with Jabba as my sugar daddy sounds pretty nice to me.

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

1. The Gungan Jar Jar Binks. Do I even need to justify this one? No, I don’t think I do.

Clumsy is the new sexy.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Haikuesday: Droids

I had been wanting to do a monthly series on this site for some time but had been struggling to decide what to do. Then, one day, it hit me: why not write and post a collection on Star Wars Haiku on the first Tuesday of every month and call it Haikuesday. Simple to pull off but also stunningly brilliant (*pats self on back*). Yet, that was not the only idea I had. “What if,” I thought to myself, “I allowed my followers on Twitter to vote for the Haiku topic.” And that is precisely what I did, presenting four options in a poll which resulted in this inaugural Haikuesday post which is all about DROIDS! 

I hope you enjoy my Star Wars inspired syllabic creations and be sure to follow me on Twitter to vote for the next Haikuesday topic!

Scene: Horizon Base;
Chopper ignores the mission.
Instead, goes shopping.

Interrogator
IT-O deals in torture
Confessions abound

I have to be frank:
That Vader built 3PO
is still really odd.

“Inventory Droid!”
AP-5 gets no respect
Defects to Rebels

Construction droids on
planet Lothal, Leonis
calls them primitive

Techno Union owned
Baktoid built battle droids for
CIS armies

I have to be frank:
I think 3PO’s red arm
is really stupid.

Scene: On Tatooine
Jawa scavengers sell droids.
Stolen? “Utini!”

Guardian Corps built;
at Third Battle of Vontor
Xim’s droids defeated

You know, in a way,
the Force also woke R2 
from low power nap.

K-2 reprogrammed,
He’ll be there for Jyn because
Cassian says so

I can’t help but feel
the Clone War should have been called
the Great Droid War…thoughts?

Jek-14 no more
He is the Maker of Zoh,
repairer of droids

Scene: On Mustafar;
Anakin and Ahsoka
battle nanny droids

Programmed by CorSec,
Whistler joins Corran Horn in
Rogue Squadron battles

Fatal Alliance,
Republic and Sith soldiers
battle Fastbreeders

“Attacked by a droid…
…An old Clone Wars battle droid.”
Bones beat up Solo

Battle of Naboo
Primitive Gungans engage
Wall Street’s droid army

Writing droid haiku
Imperial Talker starts
to feel quite hungry

Upsetting a droid
No one worries about that…
3PO is wrong

“Primary function:
burn holes through meatbags, Master.
…how I hate that term.”

Serpentine Sentries
Roaming ruins on Mataou.
Aphra should beware.

Poor tortured Gonk Droid!
What did you do to upset
His Largeness, Jabba?

Professor Huyang
guides Jedi younglings as they
construct lightsabers

If not much trouble
Could someone ask Pablo if
Droids show is canon?

Scene: On Iego;
Honorable Jaybo Hood
Builds droid servant force

I have to be frank:
I think Triple-Zero and
BT-1 are lame.

ASN transports
lethal kouhun to their prey:
Naboo’s Senator

Rebel base found by
An Imperial Probe Droid!
Time to flee from Hoth

Clone Wars Veteran
Terrified of Jedi Knights
Roger Freemaker

“Those droids were stolen,”
Young Luke tells Uncle Owen.
“Yeah, no shit nephew.”

Scene: Planet Scarif;
Jyn and Cassian in vault
K-2 dies for them

Downfall of a droid
R2 lost at Bothawui
Anakin freaks out

Loathed by Yuuzhan Vong
Droids targeted and destroyed
by the invaders

CZ-1G5
is a very bad droid in
High Noon on Jakku

“Blah Blah Blah Complain
Blah Blah Blah Complain Complain!”
“3PO! SHUT UP!”

I have to be frank:
I think that BB-8 is
so adorable!

Imperial droid
C2-B5 in Rogue One.
Wait! Did it appear???

Droid General Grevious
Killed by a shot to the chest;
How uncivilized.