Poetry

Haikuesday: The Battle of Umbara

Expansion Region;
Ghost Nebula; Umbara;
Confederate World


CIS Blockade
Tano and Offee attack
with Z-95s


The southern campaign:
Kenobi, Krell, and Tinn move
on the capital.

The northern campaign:
Skywalker engages their
foe’s reinforcements.


Umbaran forces,
technologically fierce.
Do they use clones too?

Haiku Addendum:
All Umbaran fighters look
exactly the same.

If I had to guess
I’d say yes, the Umbaran
militia are clones.


The 501st
lands in the north and a dark,
deadly fight begins.


A counterattack
catches Sky Guy’s troops off-guard.
Strategic retreat.

Abandoning ridge,
the 501st waits for
Odd Ball’s bombs to drop.


Anakin relieved,
ordered back to Coruscant.
Pong Krell takes over.


Pong Krell’s Strategy:
frontal assaults against the
dug-in Umbarans.


Key to invasion!!!
Krell scolds the 501st.
“Krell is such an ass.”


Into a minefield,
the clones march forward but are
ambushed and outgunned.


Umbaran airbase
supplying the capital.
The next objective.

With Rex in the lead,
half the battalion enters
a valley of death.

Caterpillar Tanks
greet the unsuspecting clones.
Casualties will mount.

Rockets do the trick,
the creepy crawlers destroyed.
Another threat looms.

Umbarans send in
their Mobile Heavy Cannons.
The clones are so screwed.

Dangerous mission:
Fives and Hardcase infiltrate
the Umbaran base.

Hijacking fighters,
Fives and Hardcase save the day!
MHCs destroyed.

Airfield is captured!
But another threat still looms:
A droid supply ship.


Atmospheric fight.
Separatist fleet battles
a Republic force.


Umbaran missles.
100 megaton yield.
Krell just doesn’t care.

I have to be frank:
100 megaton yield
IS NOT accurate.

The explosions
would be catastrophic and
utterly massive.


Protected droid ship
resupplies the capital.
But Fives has a plan.

Hijacking fighters,
Fives, Hardcase, and Jesse fly
into supply ship.

Hardcase shows courage.
“Live to fight another day…”
Hard-earned sacrifice.


Insubordinate.
Fives and Jesse found guilty.
Ready…Aim…FIRE!!!!!!!!


Umbaran advance.
Disguised in clone trooper gear.
Brothers should beware.


Ambushed by their own.
Brothers battling brothers.
Carnage of Pong Krell.

Deception revealed.
Every clone prepares to fight.
Fives and Rex in charge.

General scorn.
He won’t go down easily.
Irate, Krell attacks.

Jedi on the run.
Kix and other clones pursue.
Lured into a trap.

Many dead brothers.
Nevertheless, they persist.
Outraged for justice.

Pong Krell lies in wait.
Quietly prepares…attacks!!!
Rex rallies the clones.

Sabers ballet death.
Tup with a plan, his own trap.
Unaware, Krell strikes.

Victorious clones.
Waxer’s justice will be swift.
Xenos Krell shot dead.


Who pulled the trigger?
Not throwin away his shot:
the loyal Dogma.


The 501st.
The Battle of Umbara.
Dark, Deadly Triumph.


Haikuesday is a monthly series on The Imperial Talker, a new post with poetic creations coming on the first Tuesday of each month. The haiku topic is chosen by voters on Twitter so be sure to follow @ImperialTalker so you can participate in the voting. Now, check out these past Haikuesday posts:

Droids (February 2017)

Ahsoka Tano (March 2017)

Darth Vader (April 2017)

The Battle of Scarif (May 2017)

The Truce at Bakura (June 2017)

Queen Amidala (July 2017)

Ryloth (August 2017)

Cloud City (September 2017)

General Grievous (October 2017)

Millennium Falcon (November 2017)

Poe Dameron (December 2017)

Haikuesday: Millennium Falcon

These haiku are based
on “Millennium Falcon”
by James Luceno

Haiku Addendum:
obviously I’m kidding
so let’s begin here…


The “Falcon” is the
single most important ship
in all of Star Wars.

If you don’t agree,
well, that is perfectly fine.
Except, you are wrong.


Make: Corellian
YT-1300f
And sort of trashy.


Cockpit on the right…
…so how the hell does Solo
see ships to his left?

Haiku Addendum:
the cockpit placement seems like
a big design flaw.


A really fast ship:
it makes point five past light speed…
…whatever that means.


Easter Egg Alert!?!?!
Y’all see the “Falcon” over
Jedha in Rogue One!?!?!?!


“What a piece of junk.”
Luke insults Solo’s baby.
Han just doesn’t care.


A really fast ship:
It made the Kessel Run in
less than twelve parsecs.

Point of inquiry:
wasn’t it fourteen parsecs?
Someone go ask Rey.


Han’s best maneuver:
list lazily to the left.
Family Guy joke.


“You came in that thing,”
the Princess asks the Captain.
“Braver than I thought.”


Dorsal and Ventral.
Quad laser cannons blast TIEs.
Luke gets one; Han too.


Last ship to arrive
at the Battle of Yavin.
A Death Star Destroyed.


Inside Echo Base
Chewie and Han make repairs…
…a lot of repairs.


Tool: hydrospanner
Use: fixing broken “Falcons”
A space screw driver.


On the Avenger,
the “Falcon” hides in plain sight,
which is sort of odd.

Point of Inquiry:
how come no TIE pilots saw
the “Falcon” parked there?


On Cloud City we
learn that Calrissian used
to own the “Falcon.”


We never see Han
piloting his prized “Falcon”
in Episode VI.


A really fast ship:
Solo offers his baby
to Calrissian.


“She won’t get a scratch.”
“I got your word…not a scratch.”
She, ah, gets a scratch…


First ship to arrive
at the Battle of Endor.
A Death Star Destroyed.


Leading Endor charge.
The Millennium Falcon
blasts TIEs left and right.


The Endor gunners –
Two Rebels: Cracken and Blount
They deserve praise, too.


Lando and Nien Nunb
pilot the “Falcon” into
the Second Death Star.


Sub-light: Girodyne
Hyperdrive: An Isu-Sim
Power Core: Quadex


“The garbage will do,”
Rey says to Finn as they flee
First Order Fighters.


Stolen by Ducain,
then the Irving Boys, then Plutt,
then by Rey, then Han.


Stress on hyperdrive.
Ignition line compression.
Some moof-milker’s fault.


Now that Han is dead,
who technically owns his ship?
Leia? Chewie? Rey?

Haiku Addendum:
did Solo have a space will?
Maybe Ben gets it…


Haikuesday is a monthly series on The Imperial Talker, a new post with poetic creations coming on the first Tuesday of each month. The haiku topic is chosen by voters on Twitter so be sure to follow @ImperialTalker so you can participate in the voting. Now, check out these past Haikuesday posts:

Droids (February 2017)

Ahsoka Tano (March 2017)

Darth Vader (April 2017)

The Battle of Scarif (May 2017)

The Truce at Bakura (June 2017)

Queen Amidala (July 2017)

Ryloth (August 2017)

Cloud City (September 2017)

General Grievous (October 2017)

Poe Dameron (December 2017)

Haikuesday: The Truce at Bakura

Published: ’94.
The Adventure Continues.
New Saga Begins.


Endor victory!
While Rebels celebrate an
unknown foe appears.


Ancient drone dispatched.
Bakura under attack.
Empire in need.


Ambition of the
Ssi-ruuvi Imperium:
Entech and Conquer.


Aided by human
Dev Sibwarra, the Ssi-ruuk
entech detainees.


Head of Entechment,
Not a very large Ssi-ruu,
Master Firwirrung


Captured prisoners,
their life force drained into droids.
Ssi-ruuk Entechment.


How do Ssi-ruuk look?
Think dino-dragons with guns
and six feet tall…ish.


Manipulated,
Dev Sibwarra’s mind succumbs
to one called “Bluescale”


Bluescale’s Ssi-ruu name?
Sh’tk’ith…which I think is
just three syllables.


Ssi-ruuk Admiral
Ivpikkis leads his fleet in
Bakuran battle.


Led by Skywalker,
Rebels arrive as Ssi-ruuk
press attack on Imps.


Cruiser-Carrier,
Gunships and a lone Corvette.
The Rebel Task Force.


Tessa Manchisco,
Captain of Reb Carrier.
Spoiler: she dies.

Haiku Addendum:
Her death is pretty ho-hum,
plot blip at book’s end.


Class of Carrier:
Quasar-Fire bulk cruiser.
Its name: the Flurry.

Star Wars Trivia:
Quasar-Fire first appears
in this Star Wars book!

Did you know that a
Quasar-Fire is stolen
in Star Wars Rebels?

Here is another
haiku in which I say the
name Quasar-Fire.

I promise I won’t
say Quasar-Fire again.
Oh crap, I just did.


Ssi-ruuvi flagship,
Shriwirr, a huge egg-shaped ship.
Was a ’90s toy.


Ssi-ruuk in Retreat!
Empire and Alliance
win the day…for now.


Commander Thanas,
Imperial Officer.
Defects at book’s end.


Wilek Nereus
Imperial Governor
Bakura System


Gaeri Captison.
A Bakuran Senator.
Luke will crush on her.

Haiku Addendum:
Gaeri, short for Gaeriel.
Such a lovely name.


Defense Minister
Blaine Harris is also in
Force Heretic II.


A fancy dinner.
Leia and Wilek sign the
truce at Bakura.


Never tell Han odds.
Also, don’t think he will trust
any Imp allies.


On needed shore leave,
Mon Cala mistaken for
Ssi-ruuk invaders.


“Who are you,” she asks.
“I am your father, Leia.”
“Leave” is her reply.


Skywalker obsessed,
Firwirrung and Bluescale hatch
a Luke-nabbing plan.


Rebs and Empire,
Enemies work as allies.
But Nereus plots.

A Ssi-Ruuk offer:
Turn over Skywalker and
they leave Bakura.

Two birds with one stone.
Nereus accepts but lays
a Ssi-ruuvi trap.

Ingested by Luke,
Olabrian Trichoid will
hatch in his stomach.

Haiku Addendum:
the larvae hatch and nibble
towards their host’s heart.


So what of the droids?
They attempt to translate the 
Ssi-ruuvi language.


Imminent Attack!
Ssi-ruuvi forces strike while
a team hunts for Luke.


Leia arrested!
Nereus continues his
devious scheming.


Haiku Addendum:
He had cause for her arrest.
She was scheming too.


Bakuran revolt.
With Prime Minister detained,
the citizens rise.


Remember that time
C-3PO cosplayed in
stormtrooper armor?


Remember that time
Chewie shot C-3PO?
I think you know why.


Han to the rescue!
The bold General embarks
on a solo plan.


Skywalker captured!
With Sibwarra’s help, Ssi-ruuk
seize their Jedi prize.


Clever deception.
“Unconscious” Luke taken to
Ssi-ruuvi flagship.


Bakuran Assault!
Ssi-ruuk attack Imps and Rebs!
Wedge into battle!


Springing to action,
Luke fights back with help from Dev.
Two more dead Ssi-ruuk.


“Ssi-ruuk can’t use stairs,”
Sibwarra tells Skywalker.
To the power lifts!


The Flurry destroyed!
An Imperial betrayal.
The truce is broken.

In case you forgot
the Flurry is a Quasar-
Fire carrier.


Cough, Cough, Cough, Cough, Cough
The larvae chew on Luke’s lungs.
Cough, Cough, Cough, Cough, Cough

Haiku Addendum:
I won’t tell you if Luke dies.
No spoilers here.


Ssi-ruuvi retreat.
Imperial surrender.
Bakura is free!


I have to be frank:
I prefer this tale over
Shattered Empire.

Haiku Addendum:
I read it in the fourth-grade.
Impressionable.


Haikuesday is a monthly series on The Imperial Talker, a new post with poetic creations coming on the first Tuesday of each month. The haiku topic is chosen by voters on Twitter so be sure to follow @ImperialTalker so you can participate in the voting. Now, check out these past Haikuesday posts:

Droids (February 2017)

Ahsoka Tano (March 2017)

Darth Vader (April 2017)

The Battle of Scarif (May 2017)

Queen Amidala (July 2017)

Ryloth (August 2017)