Ewok Jerky | The Imperial Talker

The Woklings are sad that Ewok Week is over.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

I have to admit that I am a little sad that Ewok Week is coming to an end. When the idea was conceived, I wasn’t really sure how I would approach it or what I would do for it. Quite frankly, over the summer, I just started making it up in my head, throwing ideas around and seeing what made sense. Somethings I was planning to do, like an exploration of Ewok religion, I didn’t end up doing (I will at some point in the future). But other things I hadn’t even considered, like writing about Ewok Jerky, came to me at the last minute. I suppose that is just how the creative process works.

Putting all of that aside, though, what I am truly sad about is that with the end of Ewok Week comes the end of my months of obsessing about Ewoks. This hardly means I will stop loving them, or stop enjoying them, or stop thinking about them. It just means that it is time to move on to other Star Wars-y things – and oh do I have a lot coming up for you all! But who knows, perhaps an Ewok-related post or two will find its way onto the blog again, or, maybe someday, I will put together Ewok Week 2.0. And in the meantime, maybe some more Ewok Haikus or Fan Feelings on Ewoks will trickle in from a few more fans.

Derek Waddell’s thumb looks better with an Ewok band-aid.

Speaking of you fans of Star Wars and The Imperial Talker, I want to thank you for helping to make Ewok Week a success! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would receive the support and fangagament that I did this entire week. Plus, I want to extend a HUGE thanks to all of you who took the time to submit pictures, haikus, and your feelings on Ewoks. When the next week-long series rolls around, I hope that you not only submit again, but that others do so as well!

And so, I need to ask you all a question: What should the NEXT week-long series be about?

Perhaps you want a week devoted to Droids? Or just R2 and 3PO? the Clone Troopers? Gungans? should we go small again and focus on Jawas? or get larger and think about the Hutts? Or maybe a week on the Empire?

These are all just ideas I have kicked around, but it’s time for you decide. Do you want one of these or do you have something else in mind?

Send me an email, tell me in a comment below, send me a Tweet @ImperialTalker, or leave a comment on Facebook with what you want the next week-long event to be!! And, once I tally everything together, I will let y’all know where we are heading!

Also, feel free to send me your feedback on Ewok Week, and other suggestions to include in the next week-long series. I am always open to hearing from the fans and trying new things, so don’t shy away.

From me and all the Ewoks, thanks for making Ewok Week so fun and so great!!! Yub Yub!!!

Jeff – The Imperial Talker

Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Have you ever wondered what Ewok tastes like? Well, if you are curious, you needn’t go on a hunting trip to Endor to snag one of those furry creatures yourself. Oh no, just travel to the settlement of Pons Ora on the Outer Rim world of Abafar and then head for the Power Sliders diner. There, the Sullustan Mister Borkus has a number of delicious entrees ready for you to try including his famous Ewok Jerky!

Alright, silly quasi-advertisements aside, everything I just described comes straight out of Episode 12 from Season 5 of The Clone Wars. I will spare you the plot of the episode and would rather direct your attention to the featured image at the top of this post. There, you will see Mister Borkus himself (the big guy in the pic) and, behind/above him, you will see part of the menu. On it, you will also see the following two words written in Aurebesh, the alphabet of the Star Wars galaxy:

Translation: Ewok Jerky

You know, I bet you don’t have to travel the whole way to Abafar to chow down on some Ewok meat. Chances are it is shipped all over the galaxy. Heck, if a diner on an obscure Outer Rim world offers Ewok Jerky, some other restaurant in the galaxy probably makes a great Ewok Steak or some Smoked Ewok Ribs. I mean sure, Abafar could be the only location offering Ewok on the menu, but unless Abafar is really close to Endor, it would cost Mister Borkus a fortune to get the meat in the first place. It all boils down to supply and demand. Economics 101.

And if you are saying to yourself, “What the heck, Ewoks were hunted and eaten, that is super messed up” I am not going to disagree with you. In fact, given that the Ewoks are part of the Living Force, and are also sentient beings, one has to ask: why in the hell weren’t the Jedi protecting them from poaching and consumption? I will let you ponder this one on your own.

An Ewok hunting party surrounds Han, Luke, and Chewbacca.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

A final thought, though. Since the Ewoks were a delicacy on Abafar, and presumably other worlds, then there were surely groups that went to Endor to hunt, capture, and kill the furballs. If so, then this could explain the extreme caution the Ewoks exhibit around Leia, Han, Luke, and Chewie, not to mention the Empire.

If they aren’t cautious around outsiders, they could end up on someone’s dinner plate 1,000 light-years away.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think about the Ewok’s being eaten!

Be sure to check out other Ewok Week posts:

The Imperial Talker Presents: Ewok Week

The Music of the Ewoks

Ewok Haikus

Cute, Funny, and Very Deadly

Fan Feelings on Ewoks

Ewoks Battling for Endor

The Scout