Darth Vader

I am a Jedi

There is nothing truly remarkable about the design on the shirt (pictured above). For all intents and purposes, it is otherwise run-of-the-mill. The partial quote emblazoned in capital letters on is a recognizable one from Return of the Jedi: “I AM A JEDI LIKE MY FATHER.” Within the words, a LEGO version of Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker from stands in a ready position with his green lightsaber ignited. Determination emblazoned on his face, this LEGO Luke is prepared to enter battle.

While I am conditioned by my life-long love of the franchise to notice Star Wars merchandise online and in-stores, I rarely linger on the products I find. On the one hand, I have more than enough Star Wars stuff, and on the other, many Star Wars products are pretty banal. Unless something really unique catches my eye, or I have a vested interest in a product, I typically “move along” rather quickly.

Yet, this t-shirt design, while not something I would buy for myself, never-the-less caught my attention. In fact, when I saw it, I found myself pondering what I was seeing. And the reason for this reaction was because in that moment I was looking at an image which fundamentally misrepresents Luke Skywalker when he states this quote in Return of the Jedi.

In my piece Luke Skywalker: A Farewell to Arms I dive into the moment Luke Skywalker delivers the quote, the moment he truly becomes a Jedi in Return of the Jedi. As Emperor Palpatine goads Luke to destroy and replace Darth Vader, the young man has a moment of clarity. The anger which propelled Luke to violence and saw him teetering on the precipice of the Dark Side is washed away by an awareness which comes to him before he delivers the killing blow. Recognizing how close to darkness he has come, he turns toward Palpatine, he throws his lightsaber away. It is only then, after this action, when he declares “I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”

Luke on Jabba’s Sail Barge
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

The t-shirt design presents a far different accounting of this critical moment. While keeping part of the quote which signifies his elevation to Jedi Knight – I AM A JEDI LIKE MY FATHER – it instead couples Luke’s declaration with an image of Luke that does not fit the scene in Return of the Jedi. Notably, the design is actually closer to an image of Luke from earlier in the film when he is battling Jabba the Hutt’s gang on the sail barge. Were the quote left out of the design, and we were just given the image of a LEGO Luke that mirrors Luke’s sail barge stance, none of this would really matter. Never-the-less, the image of Luke within the quote serves as a reminder that Star Wars creators and fans alike are often willing and eager to undercut one of the most radically subversive moments in the Star Wars narrative.

Admittedly, this is hardly surprising. Star Wars in general and the Jedi in particular have, overtime, succumbed to the flashy excitement of lightsabers. It is how Jedi are understood, how they are defined, how they are recognized. A symptom, at least in part, of the choreographed lightsaber battles of the Prequel Trilogy that added more gravitas and intrigue through balletic acrobatics, the snap-hiss ignition and hypnotic twirling of blue and green blades has come to be the defining feature of the Jedi Order. The franchise consistently telegraphs that being a Jedi is having a lightsaber ignited and at the ready. It is hardly shocking, then, that a shirt design depicting Luke Skywalker, even a LEGO version, would show him with his green lightsaber at the ready and superimposed within his iconic statement declaring his status as a Jedi.

But while this may not be surprising or shocking, it is nonetheless disappointing because it forces me to wonder if some of the most profound lessons in Star Wars are being lost. Star Wars has rightly been described as a form of modern-day myth, and as such, myth always has something to say, something to teach. In Return of the Jedi, the Jedi “return” precisely because Luke recognizes his capacity to fall into darkness and stops himself from doing so. Turning off his lightsaber and tossing it aside is not just a rejection of that darkness, it is a rejection of violence more broadly. Luke heroically displays that we, too, can reject violence through similar actions in our own lives.

Of course, to some fans, the act of disarming himself may seem foolish as he turns and faces down a powerful Sith Lord. Wishing he would have fought the Emperor and/or deriding Luke for being defenseless misses the point, though. Luke chooses the path of non-violence, willing to face his adversary, the Emperor, without his lightsaber because Luke recognizes and offers a lessons that is exceedingly important, one that the Star Wars franchise seems to have forgotten over time: the “elegant weapon of a Jedi Knight,” the lightsaber, is irrelevant to being a Jedi. It is NOT what makes him a Jedi; it is not what makes anyone a Jedi. Rather, Luke can declare “I am a Jedi” because he possesses something far greater than a saber of light. He possesses the Light Side of the Force. Choosing to face his enemy with only the Force as his ally offers the clearest sign that the Jedi have returned. But don’t just take my word for it, take the Emperor’s. He is the one who has the final say on the matter in the moment, and I will likewise give him the final word here.

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me,” Luke declares, standing with poise after tossing aside his lightsaber. And to this, the Emperor responds with a contemptuous affirmation: “So be it, Jedi.”

Fiction’s Fearless Females: Shmi Skywalker

Young Anakin Skywalker turns and runs back to his mother, telling her that “I just can’t do it mom.” Offered the chance to flee his life of slavery on Tatooine, to travel the galaxy and become a Jedi under the tutelage of Master Qui-Gon Jinn, the 9-year-old boy has a reasonable moment of doubt. He has only ever known this life with Shmi, his mother. As an audience we know very little of their life prior to meeting them in The Phantom Menace, only small bits that are often short on details. Anakin and Shmi used to be the property of Gardulla the Hutt and are now owned by the junk dealer Watto. Shmi has taught Anakin to care for others who are in need, and she says he has no greed. Anakin is the only human who can fly a podracer, having incredible reflexes that are uncommon for a human. We learn these and other facts, but they remain superficial, lacking any depth to better understand the trajectory of the life Shmi and Anakin have lived together. When Anakin says he does not want to leave, and his mother never-the-less insists “don’t look back,” we are otherwise lacking any meaningful understanding of what looking back truly means.

Except, there is one very important piece of information that we did learn that something that is stunning and adds incredible depth to both characters. At one point, Master Jinn enquires about the boy’s father, wondering who he was. To this, Shmi offers something startling. “There was no father,” she tells the Jedi Master, “I carried him [Anakin], I gave birth, I raised him, I can’t explain what happened.” In other words, Anakin is quite literally a miracle.

Qui-Gon Jinn takes this information and runs with it, taking a blood sample from Anakin that evening, a sample which confirms what he already suspected, that the boy has a unique and powerful relationship to the Force. Curiously, though, Qui-Gon takes no further interest in Shmi other than briefly wanting to free her from slavery along with Anakin, something he is unable to accomplish. Once Anakin is freed, with plans set in motion for the boy to join the Jedi, Qui-Gon will also ask Shmi if she will be alright, but this is a question that Shmi has little time to contemplate. Her son has been set free, he can now leave the arid sands of Tatooine for a better life, something she could not offer him.

It is unsurprising that Qui-Gon’s focus becomes freeing Anakin. Afterall, The Phantom Menace is a story about the discovery of Anakin, the “One who will bring balance to the Force,” and his first steps on the journey to becoming Darth Vader. The Star Wars saga which creator George Lucas crafted by adding the Prequel Trilogy is the story of Anakin Skywalker, of his fall to Darkness and his redemption, but this story is not possible without Anakin’s mother. She is the linchpin, the one character who was needed to establish his inevitable importance. All of the other characters, the events, the details, all of it could be different, could be changed for us to arrive at Anakin’s downfall. Shmi, however, is central to Anakin’s story. Even though she occupies a mere sliver in the great canon of Star Wars, she never-the-less plays one of the most critical roles.

Miraculous births are fundamental to establishing the importance of religious figures, and virgin births are incredibly common across a wide spectrum of religious traditions. Jesus is the most obvious and well-known example, born to the Virgin Mary, but he is not the only one. In one Aztec story, Quetzalcoatl was born to the virgin. A legend about the Muslim poet Kabir describes that he was born to a virgin Hindu. The list goes on and on (just google it). Thus, what Shmi describes to Qui-Gon Jinn follows this archetype, establishing Anakin’s special importance as a religious figure.

However, with Anakin as the focus of this miraculous information, Shmi becomes lost in the background. For a long time, I took Shmi for granted, never stopping to consider that her agency and voice in the matter is hidden behind the veil of Anakin’s importance. She could not explain what happened, we are but neither is she given the chance to explain whether she even wanted a child, not to mention any other reactions/emotions she felt when she learned a fetus was developing within her. As a man, I have no clue what it must feel like for a woman to discover that she is pregnant. I am incapable of understanding this experience, all I can do is listen and learn about what is undoubtedly a very personal and varied reaction from one woman to the next.

On this point, I am not suggesting George Lucas should have put words into Shmi’s mouth on this topic in The Phantom Menace. That could have just made things far more awkward. I do think, however, that Shmi Skywalker deserves to have her story told in a much more dynamic way that elevates her agency and voice regarding a pregnancy that was imposed on her, not chosen by her. We should not assume that just because Shmi could not “explain what happened” that this implies a passive acceptance of the pregnancy on her part. Instead, what she honestly tells Qui-Gon Jinn should be the jumping off point for a deeper dive into her lived experience, for this particular aspect of her story to be written by a woman or women in such a way that elevates her to the same level of importance as Anakin.

And that is the thing that I believe needs to be emphasized. Shmi Skywalker is just as important as Anakin precisely because she is, at the very least and in my opinion, an equal partner in the balancing of the Force. Like Anakin, Shmi Skywalker is also a miracle, she is the Divine Mother, and it is long past time that her story, her agency, and her voice are amplified.

Fiction’s Fearless Females is in its fourth year! Yay! The series runs for the month of March and along with myself feature pieces by Nancy and Kathleen from Graphic Novelty², Kalie from Just Dread-full, Michael from My Comic Relief. Be sure to follow each of these blogs and to check out all of the Fearless Females in the series. Just follow these links:

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy

Ellie and Sandie

Black Canary/Birds of Prey

Beverly Crusher & Deanna Troi

Star Wars: 10 Characters Dathcha Never Interacts With

I recently came across two Star Wars…articles?…on cbr.com that left me genuinely dumbfounded. One is titled “10 Characters Obi-Wan Never Interacts With” and the other is “10 Characters Darth Vader Never Interacts With.” As the titles both imply, each goes on to list a variety of characters in Star Wars whom Obi-Wan and Darth Vader, respectively, never encounter. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not entirely opposed to pointing the obvious at times, particularly when presented in relation to a genuine question such as “did Obi-Wan Kenobi interact with Watto in The Phantom Menace?” Given the relative proximity to one another in the same film, both being in/around Mos Espa at the same time, it is a worthwhile question that one may ask and that can easily be answered with a resolute “No” followed by a short description. That in and of itself is fine, I have no problem with that.

What is NOT worthwhile and is, in fact, a complete and utter waste of everyone’s time is a list of random Star Wars characters from across the spectrum of films that one can easily say “never interacted” with literally any character an author chooses. In the list of “10 Characters Darth Vader Never Interacts With” the author…no, sorry, the “lister”…states that another character who “didn’t get a chance to met [their typo, not mine] Darth Vader is Qi’ra from Solo: A Star Wars Story.” Well, yeah, of course they didn’t “met” because Darth Vader isn’t even in the damn film and it is the ONLY film Qi’ra appears in. So why even put Qi’ra in the list!?!?!

Maybe if the lists were more focused, more directed towards a single Star Wars film that considered the major/minor characters Obi-Wan or Vader, respectively, never cross paths with, maybe that could be worthwhile. Perhaps then such a list could then be beneficial, at least adding something semi-interesting to a conversation about Star Wars. But that is not what these lists are for. No, the randomness of the lists belie their true purpose: both are just mundane filler with “Star Wars” in the title for another run-of-the-mill comic book site.

And so, to highlight how utterly pointless such drivel is I happily and annoyingly present to you “10 Characters Dathcha Never Interacts With.” Feel free to skip the list and go do something else. Like, literally anything else. You do not have to keep reading because nothing I present below will be worth your time. That is, unless, you are a fan of really bad jokes.

10/10 Dathcha Never Interacts with Director Orson Krennic

Why the hell would they interact? Dathcha is the Jawa who shoots R2-D2 on Tatooine in A New Hope while Orson Krennic is the Imperial Director of Advanced Weapons Research in Rogue One.

9/10 Wat Tambor and Dathcha Don’t Met One Another

Of course they don’t met! Dathcha is a Jawa in A New Hope and Wat Tambor he is the Skakoan leader of the Techno Union who signs Count Dooku’s treaty in Attack of the Clones. Wait, did the Jawas also sign the treaty? I’ll be back, I need to go suffer through the bad CGI and bland dialogue in Attack of the Clones to find out if Dathcha was one of the original Separatist leaders.

8/10 We never see Dathcha with Princess Leia

Now, let’s be clear…and this is REALLY important… both ARE in A New Hope. But no, they never cross paths, probably because Leia never actually goes Tatooine in the film. She just sends R2-D2 instead.

But hey, I guess that is something, right!?! Like, wow, Character A (Leia) interacts with Character B (R2-D2) who then interacts with Character C (Dathcha). That is wild! So Character A never meets Character C, but they have a connection through Character B!!!! Does that ever happen in other stories?

7/10 Dathcha and General Hux Don’t Have Team-Up to Solve Crimes

I was hoping to find a connection here but to no avail. This is probably because Dathcha is a Jawa in A New Hope and General Hux is a First Order officer who appears in the Sequel Trilogy. But I do think it is worth Lucasfilm giving these two a series on Disney+ where they team-up and solve crimes. It could be called “Jawa and First Order.” Give it a second and you’ll get the joke. Or not. Whatever.

6/10 Ahsoka Tano and Dathcha Haven’t Interacted…

…although, I have to be honest, they may have at this point. I don’t really know because I can’t keep track of Ahsoka Tano anymore. She seems to be everywhere in Star Wars all at once so at this point she and Dathcha could be best friends.

5/10 Dathcha and Darth Sidious Never Discuss the Dark Side of the Force

This one is just so obvious I’m not even gonna write anything else. Moving on…

4/10 Millard Fillmore and Dathcha Never Interact

Last I knew, the 13th President of the United States was not in A New Hope. Then again, maybe he was thrown into the film in one of the special editions of the Original Trilogy. I will have to go back and look more closely because maybe, just maybe, President Fillmore and Dathcha do interact and I have missed it. I will update this if I find anything…

3/10 Dathcha Doesn’t Fly with Gold Leader in the Battle of Yavin

Unfortunately, our brown robed Jawa friend never has the privilege of joining Jon Vander, aka Gold Leader, in the final battle of A New Hope. But it is a neat thought, right? Like, what IF Dathcha somehow survived the faux Tusken slaughter, stowed away on the Millennium Falcon, made his way to Yavin and jumped in the Y-Wing with Gold Leader!?! That would have made for an amazing and completely unnecessary Star Wars twist!

Actually, come to think of it, that might already be one of the short stories in “From a Certain Point of View.” I wouldn’t know, though, because I never read the anthology.

2/10 Datcha Didn’t Participate in the Immaculate Reception

Dathcha was not playing for either the Oakland Raiders or Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1972 AFC Divisional Playoffs. So there was really no way for him to be part of one of the greatest plays in American Football history. Although I wonder if George Lucas was watching and the play inspired him to create the Jawas! Now that is a really REALLY dumb thought but I am gonna hold out hope that it might be true.

1/10 Finally, Dathcha never interacts with Obi-Wan Kenobi OR Darth Vader…

…OR DOES HE!?!?!?!

No, no he doesn’t.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! If you made it this far I hope you enjoyed what you read and do be sure to check back in for my next post: 10 Star Wars Characters the Rancor Never Eats

Cheating Death: Vader’s Hatred

The first time I watched Revenge of the Sith, sitting in the darkened theater surrounded by other excited Star Wars fans at the midnight showing, I was left momentarily unsettled by Vader’s immolation. Fire consuming his broken body, the hair on his head burnt away, skin melting and charred, the scene left me feeling uneasy, uncomfortable, and slightly nauseated. Panic stormed through me, a desire to flee from the confines of the theater so I could escape the grotesque image. I was able to hold it together, able to continue sitting in my seat and finish watching the film, but my mind continued replaying the scene, reminding me of what I had witnessed.

Today, I am able to watch Vader burn. I remain bothered by it but I no longer have an impulse to run away when the moment arrives. My anxiety riddled brain can handle it, but I would not call myself desensitized to the horror of seeing someone burn alive. For me, it will always be hard to watch, as it should be.

Stating my unease with the scene is not a criticism of it, though. Rather, I have always appreciated the moment. Disturbing as it may be it is also profoundly important, radiating with meaning. Earlier in the film, for example, Anakin underwent his religious conversion from Jedi to Sith, assuming the title “Darth” and name “Vader” which are bestowed upon him by his new Master, Darth Sidious. Now, the defeated man laying on this small ashen hill side undergoes his baptism. The heat from the river of lava washes over him, igniting fires that consume him. His body is transformed, the physical appearance of the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker stripped, charred, and melted away. He is now unrecognizable, a broken shell of the man and Jedi he once was. His old self burnt away, he will be reborn in a new shell, encased in a suit of armor that sustains his life and represents who he has become.

This outward destruction is symbolic of his inner, spiritual transformation. But the fire, too, radiates with meaning. Just before he catches fire, Vader declares his hatred for Obi-Wan Kenobi, his former Jedi Master and friend. Laying there on the ashen hillside the dismembered Sith Lord screams “I hate you!” His words are piercing and sulfuric, his eyes bloodshot and the look on his face distorted by the boiling emotion within him. Kenobi responds by declaring his brotherly love for Anakin but the young man is too far gone. It is now, after declaring his hatred, that the flames erupt, the fire raging across Vader’s body a perfect symbol for the hatred raging within him.

Vader declares his hatred for Kenobi.
Gif Credit – Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

It is the hatred swirling within him, consuming him, which also enables Vader to cheat death in this horrifying moment.

In my piece Cheating Death: The Dark, I explain how Darth Maul survived his injury in The Phantom Menace, cut in half at the waist by Obi-Wan Kenobi. In The Clone Wars episode “Revenge”, Maul explains how his intense hatred sustained his life force, enabling him to descend into the abyss of the dark side to cheat bodily death. But this journey into darkness also came with a price, exacting a tole on Maul’s psyche and driving the young Sith Lord mad, turning him into a feral animal until he was discovered and his wounds, in mind and body, were healed.

“The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural,” Darth Sidious in the guise of Chancellor Palpatine explains to Anakin Skywalker in Revenge of the Sith. That Darth Maul cheats death is a clear example of this unnatural ability, his narrative return in The Clone Wars confirming the authenticity of Sidious’ dark insights. We can likewise apply Maul’s story of hate-filled survival to Vader as well. Laying upon the ashen hillside, when the heat from the lava ignites the fires on his body it is Vader’s hatred – a hatred we see on his face and hear from his mouth – which takes him into the depths of darkness, enabling him to cheat death.

The fire only consumes him for a few moments but the horrific and disturbing damage is done. Laying there, left for dead by his former Jedi Master, the young Sith Lord uses his mechanical arm to grasp the soil and slowly pull himself up the slope, a visual sign that Vader is barely clinging to life. His new Master will discover him there, traveling to Mustafar when he senses far away on Coruscant that “Lord Vader is in danger.” In film, the time between Sidious sensing Vader’s imminent danger and discovering Darth Vader on Mustafar, “still alive,” is relatively short, a narrative necessity to keep the plot moving forward. In-universe, however, the time it takes for Sidious to travel from Coruscant to Mustafar is significant, which makes Vader’s survival all the more impressive. The Dark Lord must not only survive his agonizing immolation, his body externally and internally decimated by fire, but must also continue laying there on the hillside, by the lava, with the intense heat still washing over him.

Vader’s mask is lowered.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

That the intense heat continues to flow across his body seems appropriate, another apt metaphor for the hatred flowing within him. Like Maul, Vader will use this hatred to tap into the dark side, enduring agonizing pain and torment to keep his body alive. Yet, his mind does not plunge into madness. While Darth Maul succumbed to the torment of his dark descent, his mind ravaged over the course of years as he continued to rely on his hatred to sustain him, Darth Vader avoids this frightful fate. He must survive for a shorter period of time than Maul, hours or perhaps a day, before Sidious arrives. Once his new Master discovers him, he will no longer need to rely on hatred alone, relieved of the necessity by the medical droids which work to preserve his devastated body within a cybernetic suit of armor and mask.

Then again, the iconic black armor and mask also serve as a representation of Vader’s hatred, a terrifying expression of the dark monster residing within. While he no longer needs to actively use his hatred to tap into the depths of the dark side to maintain his body, his armor and mask never-the-less serve as a reminder, to Darth Vader and to us, that it is his hatred which enables him to continue to cheat death.

4-LOM: The Bounty Hunting Protocol Droid

In the novelization of The Empire Strikes Back, author Donald F. Glut offers a paragraph detailing the bounty hunters Darth Vader assembles to hunt down the Millennium Falcon. Bossk, Zuckuss, Dengar, IG-88, and Boba Fett, each are named and briefly described, with Fett receiving the lions share of the attention. But what really stands out in the description of these “amoral money-grubbers” is that 4-LOM, the bounty hunting protocol droid, is not mentioned. Even though 4-LOM appears in The Empire Strikes Back alongside the other hunters named above, the droid was, for some reason, left out of the novelization.

The absence of 4-LOM from the book is certainly odd but luckily the bounty hunter has received other opportunities to shine, particularly in the Expanded Universe. But rather than list all of those stories, or try to paint some all-encompassing picture of the protocol droid’s endeavors, I thought I would highlight one tale from the Expanded Universe that I have always enjoyed, a tale that is specifically about 4-LOM and his partnership with the Gand bounty hunter Zuckuss.

: The cover of Tales of the Bounty Hunters. 4-LOM is in the bottom left-hand corner.
Photo Credit – Random House

“Of Possible Futures: The Tale of Zuckuss and 4-LOM” can be found in Tales of the Bounty Hunters, an anthology offering short stories about the six fortune seekers from The Empire Strikes Back. Written by M. Shayne Bell, “Of Possible Futures” takes place during and immediately after the events of The Empire Strikes Back. It depicts 4-LOM and Zuckuss traveling to meet with Darth Vader and subsequently determining how they will go about capturing Han Solo and the crew of the Millennium Falcon.

Now, I do not want to spend the rest of this post detailing everything that happens in the short story, as I would rather encourage you to go (re)read it for yourself. The entire narrative seamlessly fits into the larger context of the film, and even adds a bonus storyline about Toryn Farr (she is the woman from the film who says “Stand by Ion Control…Fire”). But while I absolutely love how the plot unfolds, and the fact that 4-LOM and Zuckuss each receive extended backstories, what I find truly fascinating about the tale is that 4-LOM spends a large chunk of the story attempting to gain intuition.

As a droid, 4-LOM is governed by logic, rationalizing actions and outcomes based on the processes running on his operating system. With his reasoning skills leading him from serving others to the life of a bounty hunter, which his backstory details, we come to learn early in the tale that 4-LOM is studying his partner Zuckuss to discover how to become intuitive. With his Gand partner spending countless hours meditating, “feeling” his way to knowledge, 4-LOM observes, collects and analyzes the raw data to discern how to unlock a process that is beyond reason.

Does this work? Is 4-LOM able to accomplish his goal of gaining intuition? Well, like I said, you will have to (re)read “Of Possible Futures” to find out. Or, perhaps you will just have to wait for me to write a post about “The Tale of Zuckuss and 4-LOM,” something I am considering because it really is a good story with a lot to explore. Instead of telling you what happens, whether 4-LOM figures out how to be intuitive like his partner, I will instead close this piece by offering you these four random facts about the bounty hunting protocol droid:

4-LOM is a LOM-series protocol droid. Produced by Industrial Automaton to serve insectoid species in the Star Wars galaxy, the LOM-series droids are unique for their insect-like head and notable compound eyes.
The ship 4-LOM and Zuckuss own is named the Mist Hunter. It is a modified G-1A starfighter.
4-LOM is included as a minifigure, along with IG-88, Dengar and Bossk, in the LEGO Star Wars set Bounty Hunter Speeder Bike Battle Pack. Sadly, Zuckuss was not included in this set, but the Gand, along with 4-LOM and Boba Fett, are included in the 20th Anniversary Edition of Slave I.
A few years ago I was asked to join a team for a Star Wars trivia night at a local bar and our team name was 4-LOM for the Win. We came in second. I am still bitter.

Check out these other posts about random protocol droids in Star Wars:

U-3PO: The Other Protocol Droid

K-3PO: The Dead Protocol Droid

E-3PO: The Rude Protocol Droid

TC-14: The Federation Protocol Droid

TC-70: The Hutt’s Protocol Droid

R-3PO: The Red Protocol Droid

AP-5: The Singing Protocol Droid

4A-R2: The Pirate Protocol Droid

Haikuesday: The Great Jedi Purge

A Fallen Order.
The Jedi succumb to the
Revenge of the Sith.

There were four who fell.
Victims of Darth Sidious.
And more would follow.

The first Jedi death:
The Zabrak Agen Kolar.
Stabbed through the belly.

Next was Master Tiin.
The Iktochi was to slow,
and the red-blade struck.

Master Kit Fisto
parried the Sith Lord’s attacks
but then he went down.

Windu held his own.
He almost finished his foe.
But he was betrayed.

Dark Lords of the Sith.
Order 66 is sent.
The Great Purge begins.

Turning on Jedi.
“Good soldiers follow orders.”
Massacres ensue.

Planet: Mygeeto.
Master Mundi is gunned down
by once loyal troops.

Aayla Secura,
surrounded by her soldiers
and shot in the back.

In his starfighter,
Plo Koon meets his demise when
Jag opens fire.

The planet Zeffo.
Master Chiata dies first,
her Padawan next.

On Saleucami,
Stass Allie’s body is thrown
from a speeder bike.

“Run,” Billaba tells
her padawan, Caleb Dume.
She does not survive.

On a Venator,
Jaro Tapal’s sacrifice.
Cal Kestis will live.

Bound for Rodia.
Huulik dies in his starship.
His wounds were to great.

Vader with his clones.
Operation: Nightfall strikes
the Jedi Temple.

“Do what must be done.”
Darth Vader leads the way by
slaughtering younglings.

Master Cin Drallig
The Jedi Battlemaster.
No match for Vader.

Malreaux and Bene
fight alongside Cin Drallig.
They go down as well.

As she meditates,
a Dark figure approaches
and butchers Shaak Ti.

Attempting to flee,
Zett Jukasa kills troopers.
But then he is hit.

“…too many of them!”
“What are we going to do?”
Bandeam’s final words.

The Great Jedi Purge
Thousands are executed
in a single day.

Jedi Survivors.
Hiding in the galaxy.
Many will be found.

The Moon Al’doleem.
Vader discards Infil’a
in a drowned city.

Chief Librarian.
A prize for Darth Sidious.
Vader takes Nu’s life.

Agents of the Sith:
Inquisitors, once Jedi,
hunt their former kin.

An execution.
The Grand Inquisitor kills
Master Unduli.

Tracked to Anoat,
Mususiel is slain by
Imperial troops.

The planet Mataou.
Zubain Ankonori takes
his last breath of life.

An Inquisitor
tracks Khandra and Nuhj to the
world of Burnin Konn.

Advising Lee-Char.
Padawan Ferren Barr’s life
ends on Mon Cala.

Victim of Vader.
Eeth Koth suffers a Dark death.
His newborn, kidnapped.

Former Padawan.
Caleb Dume – Kanan Jarrus.
Consumed by fire.

Aboard the Death Star,
Kenobi confronts Vader
and then transcends death.

Check out these other Haikuesday 2.0 posts:

Imperial Atrocities

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Dark Lords of the Sith

Star Wars Planets

Star Wars Aliens

Haikuesday: Dark Lords of the Sith

Hundred-Year Darkness:
Jedi exiles become
Jen’ari, Dark Lords

The Left-Handed God:
Dark Jedi Ajunta Pall
First Lord of the Sith

Greatest of his Age
A fierce Sith-human hybrid
Lord Marka Ragnos

Great Hyperspace War:
Naga Sadow’s Empire
invades Republic.

On a Deep Core World
Darth Andeddu rules as an
Immortal God-King.

Sadow’s apprentice:
Fallen Jedi, Freedon Nadd.
Onderon entombed.

“I was the greatest
Dark Lord of the Sith,” he states.
“I am Exar Kun.”

Haiku Addendum:
Exar Kun is a badass!
You should check him out.

Reviled, Dreaded.
A Jedi leaves, Sith returns.
He is Darth Revan.

A Sith Apprentice.
Darth Malak betrays Revan
and becomes Master.

Malak’s Shadow Hand:
Darth Bandon, former Jedi.
Vanquished by Revan.

Sith Triumvirate:
Darth Traya suffers betrayal
by Hunger and Pain

The Lord of Hunger.
Draining the Force of all Life.
Dark Lord Nihilus.

Sion, Lord of Pain.
Body fractured and rotting.
And yet, immortal.

“For three hundred years,
we prepared, we grew stronger.”
Malgus leads the charge.

Immortality:
Darth Scabrous’s dream results
in the walking dead.

“The Last Survivor”
Darth Bane, the architect of
the Sith Rule of Two.

A child named “Rain”
sent to war by the Jedi
becomes Darth Zannah.

Iktotchi Huntress
Gifted in divination
The Dark Lord Cognus

Three-eyed mutant Sith
Apprenticed to Darth Cognus –
Darth Millennial

Haiku Addendum:
Darth Millennial enjoys
avocado toast.

Starship Designer
but really, he’s Tenebrous
Dark Lord of the Sith

Darth Plagueis the Wise
Murdered by his apprentice
while he was asleep.

The first Emperor,
a galactic Empire.
Dark Lord Sidious

Devilish Sith Lord
Double-bladed lightsaber.
The Zabrak named Maul.

Elegant Evil.
Former Jedi: Count Dooku.
Dark Lord Tyrannus

Once known as “Anni”
He spirals to the Dark Side
and becomes Vader.

A Son of Solo.
Jacen Solo, Darth Caedus.
Killed by his sister.

Born A’Sharad Hett
Founder of a new Sith Cult:
Darth Krayt’s Rule of One

Anointed by Krayt.
Body covered by tattoos.
Twi’lek Darth Talon.

What about Kylo?
Well, this is awkward because
he is not a Sith.

Haiku Addendum:
Kylo Ren verses Caedus?
Darth Caedus would win.

Check out these other Haikuesday Posts!

Imperial Atrocities

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Haikuesday: Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Hologram of Luke
Speaking to Jabba the Hutt
Bargaining for Han

Token of Goodwill:
C-3PO and R2.
Both have served him well.

Scene: Jabba’s Palace.
Main gate opens, Luke walks in.
Confronted by Guards.

Shrouded in Darkness,
Luke draws on the Force and chokes
the Gamorreans.

Threatening Jabba.
“Master Luke, you’re standing on…”
The floor drops away.

“OH NO! THE RANCOR!”
Once, Luke fought a big Wampa.
Rancors are larger…

The Rancor eats pork.
Then it turns towards Skywalker.
How will Luke survive!?!?!

First – use a large bone.
Next – hit its fingers with rocks.
Last – throw human skull.

The Rancor is dead!
But Luke is still in trouble.
Onto the Sarlacc…

The Pit of Carkoon.
Luke preps for Jabba’s justice…
…then springs to action!

A green lightsaber!
Luke built a Jedi weapon!
How’d he manage that?

Slashing and blasting.
A chaotic desert scene.
And Luke’s hand is shot!

What are your thoughts when
Luke blows up Jabba’s sail barge?
Kinda messed up, right?

Back to Dagobah:
Skywalker returns so he
can finish training.

Yoda, very frail.
Tries to avoid Luke’s question:
“…is Vader my dad?”

Obi-Wan Appears!
“From a certain point of view…”
Luke learns a lesson.

Spoiler Alert!
The Princess is Luke’s sister!
O-M-G!!! THEY KISSED!!!!!

Scene: Sullust System.
The Rebel Fleet amasses.
Luke decides to join.

Passing the “Super,”
Luke can sense a dark presence…
“Vader’s on that ship.”

Endor Excursion.
Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie, Droids.
And Rebel Soldiers.

Chasing Scout Troopers
through a Forest on Endor.
Team Luke and Leia.

Captured by Ewoks.
Luke will be a main course in
3PO’s honor.

Emotional Talk.
Luke reveals truth to Leia:
Brother and Sister

Taken to Vader –
“I know there is good in you.”
“I feel the conflict…”

Before Palpatine –
“I have been expecting you.”
Verbal sparring match.

Battle commences:
Rebels caught in an Imp trap
fight for survival.

Watching the battle
Luke is tormented by the
unfolding drama.

“You want this, don’t you?”
Luke looks at his lightsaber.
“Strike me down with it.”

Haiku Addendum:
Palpatine’s “Trap” was always
for Luke Skywalker.

“My young apprentice…”
Luke watches as the Death Star
fires on the fleet.

Filling with anger,
He can no longer resist –
Luke takes his weapon.

Red and Green Collide.
Father and Son engage in
a duel of the fates.

“Twin sister…if you
will not turn to the dark side,
then perhaps she will.”

A rage-filled assault.
Consumed by the darkness, Luke
presses his attack.

“…take your father’s place.”
The hero arrives at his
most critical point.

A farewell to arms.
Luke declares who he shall be:
“I am a Jedi.”

Baptized by Lightning.
The Son pleads to the Father.
The Father responds.

Vader is no more.
Luke burns his father’s body.
Now, the Last Jedi.

Joyful reunion.
Luke celebrates with his friends.
Saga is complete.

This post is Part 3 of 3 in a special three-week version of Haikuesday exploring Luke Skywalker in the Original Star Wars Trilogy. Check out the other two posts below!

Luke Skywalker (ANH)
Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Haikuesday: Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Oh No! A Wampa!
Commander Skywalker is
attacked by a beast!

Hanging Upside-Down
Oh look, it’s his lightsaber…
..but just out of reach. 😦

OH WAIT! USE THE FORCE!
Eyes closed and hand extended…
The saber responds.

OH NO! THE WAMPA!
Freed from the ice, Luke attacks.
Poor one-armed Wampa. 😦

Hoth’s frozen tundra.
A blizzard lashes at Luke
and our hero falls.

Ben’s apparition
gives Luke a direct command:
“Go to Dagobah.”

Stuffed in a Tauntaun…
…they smell bad on the outside
and on the inside.

Floating in Bacta.
Then, a few minutes later,
kissing his sister.

The Battle of Hoth.
All-Terrain Armored Transports.
Luke leads Rogue Squadron.

“Hobbie! “I’ve been hit!”
…annnnnd once again Luke crashes
to Hoth’s snowy ground.

“All the scopes are dead.”
Luke enters Dagobah’s sky.
“I can’t see a thing.”

A swampy landing.
“Artoo, what are we doing…?”
The droid throws up mud.

“Like we’re being watched!”
A strange creature confronts Luke
and trashes his camp.

Important question:
“Why wish you become Jedi?”
“…my father, I guess.”

“We’re wasting our time!”
“Cannot teach him. No patience.”
The creature? Yoda!

Yoda on his back.
Luke begins Jedi training.
And learns of the Force.

Haiku Addendum:
Jedi training involves a
lot of cardio.

Dark, sinister cave.
“That place…strong with the dark side.”
So Luke just walks in…

Dark Confrontation –
Face-to-face with his father’s
killer: Darth Vader.

Red and Blue Collide
A dream like battle ensues.
There is no victor.

Upside-down again.
Luke lifts rocks using the Force.
But crashes again.

His X-Wing sinking.
“We’ll never get it out now!”
Yoda is annoyed.

“Luminous beings.”
“Life creates it, makes it grow.”
“You must feel the Force.”

Yoda moves Luke’s ship.
“I don’t…I don’t believe it.”
“That is why you fail.

Haiku Addendum:
I hope Luke thanked Yoda for
freeing the X-Wing.

Meanwhile, elsewhere…
Han. Leia. Asteroids. Slugs.
Darth Vader. Hunters.

Upside-down again.
This time Luke crashes after
a vision of friends.

Decision to make:
go and help his friends or to
finish his training.

Haiku Addendum:
because he is impatient,
Luke decides to leave.

Haiku Addendum:
internalizing lessons
is not Luke’s strong point.

Onto Cloud City!
Luke waltzes into a trap.
The truth awaits him.

“The Force is with you.”
The Carbon Freezing Chamber.
Luke confronts Vader.

Red and Blue Collide
Skywalker holds his own but
it won’t be enough.

Launched out a window.
Pushed back onto a platform.
An abyss below.

A deadly blade stroke.
Maimed by Vader’s blood red blade.
“There is no escape.”

“I’ll never join you!”
And now the truth is revealed…
“I am your Father.”

“That’s impossible!”
“…we can rule the galaxy
as father and son…”

Calm comes over Luke.
A decision has been made.
He lets go…and falls.

Upside-down again
Luke has nowhere else to go.
One option remains.

Calling to Leia,
Luke reaches out with the Force.
His sister responds.

Haiku Addendum:
in the next film, they will learn
that they are siblings.

Haiku Addendum:
…but pay attention and you
can figure it out. 😉

Haiku Addendum:
Seriously, “Empire”
gives you the info.

Luke gets a new hand!
And Lando wears Han’s clothing.
Did Hobbie survive?

Meanwhile, on Hoth…
the one-armed Wampa adjusts
to a one-armed life.

Luke maims the Wampa.
And Vader maims Skywalker.
Quite interesting…

This post is Part 2 of 3 in a special three-week version of Haikuesday exploring Luke Skywalker in the Original Star Wars Trilogy. Be on the lookout next Tuesday for for the final installement with haiku about Luke in Return of the Jedi!

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Haikuesday: Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Tatooine farm boy.
Dreaming of a greater life.
Craving adventure.

Bad motivator.
3PO suggests R2.
“What about that one?”

As he cleans R2,
Luke stumbles on a message:
“You’re my only hope.”

Binary Sunset.
A New Hope baptized by Light.
Arise, Skywalker.

“I wish I’d known him.”
Star pilot. Warrior. Friend.
Tales of a Father.

Jawa Massacre.
Imperial Stormtroopers.
A burning homestead.

Stopped by Stormtroopers.
“Not the droids you’re looking for.”
A Jedi mind-trick.

Crossing the threshold.
The Mos Eisley Cantina.
A hero’s journey.

Baba. Evazan.
They don’t like Luke very much.
Old Ben saves the day.

With the blast-shield down
Luke is blinded by his doubts
but takes his first steps.

“The Princess? She’s here?”
“What are you talking about?”
“We’ve got to help her.”

Luke has an idea.
Han thinks it’s a bad idea.
Chewie is just mad.

“I’m Luke Skywalker.”
The hero to the rescue!
Leia is just chill.

Death Star Compactor.
A one-eyed beast tries to eat
the youthful hero.

Chased by Stormtroopers,
a hero swings a Princess
across a chasm.

Haiku Addendum:
Princess Leia could have done
all the heroics.

Haiku Addendum:
Leia was just letting Luke
play the hero part.

Red and Blue collide.
The sacrifice of Old Ben.
“Run Luke, Run!” Ben’s voice.

A mentor is mourned.
Skywalker struggles with loss.
“Can’t believe he’s gone.”

“Got him, I got him!”
“Great kid, don’t get cocky,” the
smuggler declares.

Pleading with Solo,
Luke learns some are driven by
self-preservation.

Childhood friend: Biggs.
Skywalker and Darklighter.
X-Wing Red Squadron.

“Red Five Standing By.”
He wanted more out of life.
Well, he got his wish…

Running the gauntlet.
Protected by Biggs and Wedge.
Going full throttle.

Biggs dead. Wedge knocked out.
Luke is pursued by Vader,
his father’s killer.

“Use the Force…Let go.”
From the beyond, Old Ben speaks.
Faith in something Great.

Han Solo Returns!
“Let’s blow this thing and go home.”
Torpedoes away.

The Death Star destroyed.
Luke and his friends celebrate.
The Force is with him.

Good news! This post is Part 1 of 3 of a special three-week version of Haikuesday exploring Luke Skywalker in the Original Star Wars Trilogy. Be on the lookout next Tuesday for haiku about Luke in The Empire Strikes Back!

Check Out Other Haikuesday 2.0 Posts Below:

Imperial Atrocities