Have you ever wondered what Ewok tastes like? Well, if you are curious, you needn’t go on a hunting trip to Endor to snag one of those furry creatures yourself. Oh no, just travel to the settlement of Pons Ora on the Outer Rim world of Abafar and then head for the Power Sliders diner. There, the Sullustan Mister Borkus has a number of delicious entrees ready for you to try including his famous Ewok Jerky!
Alright, silly quasi-advertisements aside, everything I just described comes straight out of Episode 12 from Season 5 of The Clone Wars. I will spare you the plot of the episode and would rather direct your attention to the featured image at the top of this post. There, you will see Mister Borkus himself (the big guy in the pic) and, behind/above him, you will see part of the menu. On it, you will also see the following two words written in Aurebesh, the alphabet of the Star Wars galaxy:
You know, I bet you don’t have to travel the whole way to Abafar to chow down on some Ewok meat. Chances are it is shipped all over the galaxy. Heck, if a diner on an obscure Outer Rim world offers Ewok Jerky, some other restaurant in the galaxy probably makes a great Ewok Steak or some Smoked Ewok Ribs. I mean sure, Abafar could be the only location offering Ewok on the menu, but unless Abafar is really close to Endor, it would cost Mister Borkus a fortune to get the meat in the first place. It all boils down to supply and demand. Economics 101.
And if you are saying to yourself, “What the heck, Ewoks were hunted and eaten, that is super messed up” I am not going to disagree with you. In fact, given that the Ewoks are part of the Living Force, and are also sentient beings, one has to ask: why in the hell weren’t the Jedi protecting them from poaching and consumption? I will let you ponder this one on your own.
A final thought, though. Since the Ewoks were a delicacy on Abafar, and presumably other worlds, then there were surely groups that went to Endor to hunt, capture, and kill the furballs. If so, then this could explain the extreme caution the Ewoks exhibit around Leia, Han, Luke, and Chewie, not to mention the Empire.
If they aren’t cautious around outsiders, they could end up on someone’s dinner plate 1,000 light-years away.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think about the Ewok’s being eaten!
Be sure to check out other Ewok Week posts:
The Imperial Talker Presents: Ewok Week