Fandom

Haikuesday: Chewbacca

Loyal Companion
Solo’s co-pilot best friend
Mighty Chewbacca

Shiny Bandolier.
Signature Accoutrement.
Oh, and his man purse.

“He’s goes ‘Rrrrrrwwwwwooooooorrrrr’
and they’re all like ‘that’s a good
point bear, let’s try that.'”


If you haven’t watched
How I Met Your Mother then
you won’t get the joke.

In a Cantina,
Old Ben meets with a giant.
A fur-covered beast.

Star Wars, Hendersons:
Chewbacca versus Harry.
Who would win the fight?

Actually, I think
the two would ultimately
end up being friends.

Haiku Addendum:
Chewbacca kinda, sorta
looks like a Sasquatch.

Ode to Bigfoot Craze?
In the seventies, Bigfoot
was all of the rage!

Last thought on subject –
Harry and the Hendersons
is such a great film.

Playing Dejarik.
Not wise to upset Wookiees.
“Let the Wookiee win.”

Aboard the Death Star
Luke Skywalker has a plan
but Chewie hates it.

“Prisoner transfer”
“Where are you taking this thing?”

Chewbacca gets loose!

Hold up a second…
…do you think Bigfoot is real?
It’s possible, right?

Maybe George Lucas
went in the woods and saw one!
That would be crazy!

Garbage Chute Escape:
Chewie doesn’t want to go
because it smells bad.

Compactor Escape:
Chewie is afraid and hides.
It’s adorable.

A royal insult:
Leia is annoyed by the
“Big walking carpet.”

Haiku Addendum:
It’s pretty crappy that she
is mean to Chewie.

Seriously though,
Bigfoot is totally real.
I’ve seen the creature!

Han chases Stormies.
And Chewbacca chases Han.
Stormies chase them both.

Flying the Falcon
The Wookiee pilots the ship
while Han man’s the guns!

Chewie and Leia
embrace in a heartfelt hug.
Now the two are friends!

I have a question:
Did Leia apologize
for insulting him?

Alright, honestly,
it was probably a bear
that looked like Bigfoot.

It would be funny
if Sasquatch are real and they
all wear bandoliers.

It would be funny
if Sasquatch are real and they
all wear a man purse.

Han gets his reward…
…but did Chewie receive a
reward for his role?

To hell with medals!
I hope Chewie got some cash!
#JusticeForChewie

Hold on a second…
Perhaps he gave Han his share
to help pay Jabba.

Loyal Companion.
Chewbacca is a good friend.
Solo is lucky.

Harry is also
a really good friend to the
Henderson family.

Alright, so, medals –
Chewie doesn’t get one and
I don’t really care.

Some people do care.
Like J.J. Abrams, he cares.
But I do not care.

Here’s why I don’t care:
Luke and Han are the focus
Chewbacca is not.

Plus, consider this:
do you see Chewie in the
Battle of Yavin?

Hold up, you know what
I’ll just write a post about
it and go from there.

Moving right along…
Chewie does some stuff in V
and in VI. The End.

Do you like Chewie?
Do you have thoughts on Bigfoot?
Leave comments below!

Oh, before I go…
The Wampa is a yeti.
I’m sure you knew that.

Haiku Addendum:
Bigfoot, Yeti, they aren’t real.
Except they are real.


Check out these other Haikuesday 2.0 posts:

Imperial Atrocities

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Dark Lords of the Sith

Star Wars Planets

The Great Jedi Purge

Star Wars Aliens

Clone Troopers

Finn (TFA)

Haikuesday: Finn (TFA)

Desert, Stormtrooper.
“There’s been an Awakening…”
Is the Force with him?

The Force Awakens
Not only about Rey but
Also about Finn.

Raiding a village
One trooper’s helmet is marked
by a bloody hand.

Panic takes over.
Disoriented by the
Destruction and Death.

Villagers murdered
but one stormtrooper does not
fire his blaster

On the Destroyer,
FN-2187
removes his helmet

A reprimand from,
chrome armored Captain Phasma
“Submit your blaster…”

Wanting to escape,
FN-2187
frees a prisoner.

TIE Fighter stolen.
The two exchange pleasantries:
FN becomes Finn.

Back to Jakku but
their Fighter is hit, crashes.
Finn is ejected.

Desert Wanderer –
Stripping armor, leaving his
old life in the sand.

Happabore water,
disgusting but thirst quenching.
No germs I suppose?

A woman attacked.
Finn comes to the rescue but
she doesn’t need help.

A daring escape.
Finn and the woman named Rey.
BB-8 as well.

A ship that’s garbage.
Commandeered by Finn and Rey.
Finn takes a turret.

Finn and BB-8
have a little back and forth.
Thumbs up in the end.

Releasing Rathtars.
Finn is almost eaten but
Rey will rescue him.

Confronting Solo,
Finn explains he’s a “big deal”
Han sees right through it.

Kanata’s Castle –
Maz discovers that Finn’s a
“….man who wants to run.”

Confronted by Rey,
Finn shares his story, his truth –
enslaved as a boy.

Conditioned to be
a First Order Stormtrooper
but he made a choice.

First Order attack!
With an iconic weapon
Finn enters the fray.

Declared a traitor.
Finn and a stormtrooper fight.
Han lends his support.

Finn and Poe embrace.
Their bromance takes shape as the
two become close friends.

Haiku Addendum:
I was rooting for them to
be a hot item.

Mission with Solo:
Take down the Starkiller shield.
Maybe use the Force?

Finn’s Starkiller job:
He was in sanitation.
Han is none too pleased.

Finn’s real mission is
to find and rescue Rey but
She doesn’t need help.

Resistance attack.
Finn and company look on
as battle rages.

Diminishing Light.
Two friends watch as Han Solo
is killed by his son.

Dark, snowy forest.
A hate-filled, bleeding monster.
Finn ignites the Light.

Bested by the beast.
Wounded but not mortally.
Finn will Awaken.

Actor: Boyega –
Fucking hates racists and I
fucking hate them too.


Check out these other Haikuesday 2.0 posts:

Imperial Atrocities

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Dark Lords of the Sith

Star Wars Planets

The Great Jedi Purge

Star Wars Aliens

Clone Troopers


4-LOM: The Bounty Hunting Protocol Droid

In the novelization of The Empire Strikes Back, author Donald F. Glut offers a paragraph detailing the bounty hunters Darth Vader assembles to hunt down the Millennium Falcon. Bossk, Zuckuss, Dengar, IG-88, and Boba Fett, each are named and briefly described, with Fett receiving the lions share of the attention. But what really stands out in the description of these “amoral money-grubbers” is that 4-LOM, the bounty hunting protocol droid, is not mentioned. Even though 4-LOM appears in The Empire Strikes Back alongside the other hunters named above, the droid was, for some reason, left out of the novelization.

The absence of 4-LOM from the book is certainly odd but luckily the bounty hunter has received other opportunities to shine, particularly in the Expanded Universe. But rather than list all of those stories, or try to paint some all-encompassing picture of the protocol droid’s endeavors, I thought I would highlight one tale from the Expanded Universe that I have always enjoyed, a tale that is specifically about 4-LOM and his partnership with the Gand bounty hunter Zuckuss.

Tales of the Bounty Hunters
The cover of Tales of the Bounty Hunters. 4-LOM is in the bottom left-hand corner.
Photo Credit – Random House

“Of Possible Futures: The Tale of Zuckuss and 4-LOM” can be found in Tales of the Bounty Hunters, an anthology offering short stories about the six fortune seekers from The Empire Strikes Back. Written by M. Shayne Bell, “Of Possible Futures” takes place during and immediately after the events of The Empire Strikes Back. It depicts 4-LOM and Zuckuss traveling to meet with Darth Vader and subsequently determining how they will go about capturing Han Solo and the crew of the Millennium Falcon.

Now, I do not want to spend the rest of this post detailing everything that happens in the short story, as I would rather encourage you to go (re)read it for yourself. The entire narrative seamlessly fits into the larger context of the film, and even adds a bonus storyline about Toryn Farr (she is the woman from the film who says “Stand by Ion Control…Fire”). But while I absolutely love how the plot unfolds, and the fact that 4-LOM and Zuckuss each receive extended backstories, what I find truly fascinating about the tale is that 4-LOM spends a large chunk of the story attempting to gain intuition.

As a droid, 4-LOM is governed by logic, rationalizing actions and outcomes based on the processes running on his operating system. With his reasoning skills leading him from serving others to the life of a bounty hunter, which his backstory details, we come to learn early in the tale that 4-LOM is studying his partner Zuckuss to discover how to become intuitive. With his Gand partner spending countless hours meditating, “feeling” his way to knowledge, 4-LOM observes, collects and analyzes the raw data to discern how to unlock a process that is beyond reason.

Does this work? Is 4-LOM able to accomplish his goal of gaining intuition? Well, like I said, you will have to (re)read “Of Possible Futures” to find out. Or, perhaps you will just have to wait for me to write a post about “The Tale of Zuckuss and 4-LOM,” something I am considering because it really is a good story with a lot to explore. Instead of telling you what happens, whether 4-LOM figures out how to be intuitive like his partner, I will instead close this piece by offering you these four random facts about the bounty hunting protocol droid:

  1. 4-LOM is a LOM-series protocol droid. Produced by Industrial Automaton to serve insectoid species in the Star Wars galaxy, the LOM-series droids are unique for their insect-like head and notable compound eyes.
  2. The ship 4-LOM and Zuckuss own is named the Mist Hunter. It is a modified G-1A starfighter.
  3.  4-LOM is included as a minifigure, along with IG-88, Dengar and Bossk, in the LEGO Star Wars set Bounty Hunter Speeder Bike Battle Pack. Sadly, Zuckuss was not included in this set, but the Gand, along with 4-LOM and Boba Fett, are included in the 20th Anniversary Edition of Slave I. 
  4. A few years ago I was asked to join a team for a Star Wars trivia night at a local bar and our team name was 4-LOM for the Win. We came in second. I am still bitter.

Check out these other posts about random protocol droids in Star Wars:

U-3PO: The Other Protocol Droid

K-3PO: The Dead Protocol Droid

E-3PO: The Rude Protocol Droid

TC-14: The Federation Protocol Droid

TC-70: The Hutt’s Protocol Droid

R-3PO: The Red Protocol Droid

AP-5: The Singing Protocol Droid

4A-R2: The Pirate Protocol Droid

Haikuesday: Clone Troopers

The Muunilist 10
Advanced Recon Commandos
Captain Fordo’s squad


Clone Wars – Chapter 8
Kenobi strikes with a clone
Lancer Battalion.


Boss, Fixer, Sev, Scorch
From Republic Commando.
It’s a damn fun game.


Four Clone Commandos –
Niner, Fi, Atin, Darman
They show True Colors.


A different Niner
was killed on Vassek’s third moon
hunting down Gunray.


The best of the best.
Captain Rex is loyal to
his men and Sky Guy.


Commander Cody.
Leading the 7th Sky Corps
through numerous fights.


The Gauntlet of Death.
Clone sniper Cooker targets
power cells of droids.


Hevy’s sacrifice.
Kamino is protected
thanks to his actions.


Clone Captain Keeli
spends his last moments standing
with Ima-Gun Di.


Clone Commander Bly.
Secura’s loyal trooper.
He helps to kill her.


Fodder for the plot.
Cameron, Lucky, and Flash
are expendable.


The Clone Wars series
is really good at killing
lots of unnamed clones.


Duplicitous clone!
Sergeant Slick betrays his men
at First Christophsis.


Storm over Ryloth.
Clone Pilot Axe dies in his
V-19 Torrent.


“I guess we’re the best.”
Two clones scout a Twi’lek town.
Waxer and Boil.


Boil’s Fu Manchu
is absolutely stunning.
You can’t deny it.


The Battle of Khorm.
Wolffe loses his right eye in
a fight with Ventress.


Name is Cut Lawquane.
Deserted the army but
found a family.


Clone Commander Ponds.
Executed on Slave I
after his capture.


Landmine explosion.
“Oz is down. So is Ringo.”
Umbaran Darkness.


Hyper-active clone.
Hardcase is just a bit off.
It makes him unique.


Battle of Sarrish.
Gregor missing in action.
Found on Abafar.


Clone Commander Doom.
Designed as an homage to
Marvel’s Doctor Doom.


Turning on Tiplar.
“Good soldiers follow orders.”
Tup’s bio-chip fails.


ARC Trooper named Fives
discovers bio-chip truth:
To kill the Jedi.


Clone Medic Kix was
captured, frozen in stasis 
for next fifty years.


Clone Force 99.
Also known as the “Bad Batch.”
“they’re defective clones.”


ARC Trooper Echo.
Believed to be KIA.
But he was captured.


13th Battalion.
Led by Master Tapal and
Padawan Kestis.


“Time for you to leave,”
Appo tells Bail Organa.
Then wounded by Zett.


Clone Commander Gree.
Yoda cuts off the clone’s head.
Then makes his escape.


The Coruscant Guard.
Led by Clone Commander Fox.
Darth Vader kills him.


Check out these other Haikuesday 2.0 posts:

Imperial Atrocities

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Dark Lords of the Sith

Star Wars Planets

The Great Jedi Purge

Star Wars Aliens

 

4A-R2: The Pirate Protocol Droid

Given the ubiquity of droids in the Star Wars universe it should come as no surprise that some of these robots would be members of notable pirate gangs. An RA-7 series protocol droid with distinct green and white plating, 4A-R2 has the esteemed distinction of belonging to the infamous Ohnaka Gang.

Led by the fan-favorite Hondo Ohnaka, the Ohnaka Gang was first introduced along with its namesake Captain in the The Clone Wars Season 1, Episode 11: “Dooku Captured.” When we first meet Ohnaka and his predominately Weequay crew they are rummaging through the wreckage of two ships on the planet Vanqor. Count Dooku, having slipped past his Jedi pursuers, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, happens upon the pirates as they plunder his crashed solar sailer and the shuttle which the Jedi had piloted. Seeing Count Dooku approaching, Hondo is surrounded by a handful of Weequay pirates. But look even more closely and you will notice that a droid is also present when Hondo and Dooku begin speaking (see featured image).

Admittedly, it was a number of years after “Dooku Captured” originally aired that I even noticed this pirate protocol droid, 4A-R2, standing with the group. Intrigued, I scoured the remainder of the episode for signs of this green and white plated droid but could not find it hiding in the background of anymore scenes. Nor, to my knowledge, does 4A-R2 appear in the next episode, “The Gungan General,” which continues the story of Ohnaka’s gang at their base of operations on the planet Floruum.

Ohnaka with his Gang
4A-R2: pirate protocol droid and dog walker. Photo Credit – The Clone Wars Season 2, Episode 22: “Lethal Trackdown”

In fact, it is not until the final episode in the second season of The Clone Wars, “Lethal Trackdown,” that this protocol droid appears again and, so far as I can tell, for the final time. Late in the episode, Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano runs by Hondo and a handful of his gang as she chases the bounty hunter Aurra Sing. As Ahsoka passes the group, one of the Weequay pirates raises a rifle to shoot at her but Hondo intervenes, forcing the weapon to be lowered. With this action being the focus of the scene it is easy to miss 4A-R2 standing on the edge of the group. Look closely, though, and you may notice that the protocol droid is also passively active in the scene, holding the leash that is attached to one of Ohnaka’s pet massifs.

And yeah, that is it. 4A-R2 appears in The Clone Wars on two separate and equally brief occasions. Is it possible that this pirate protocol droid is hidden somewhere else in the The Clone Wars and I just haven’t found it? Perhaps. I suppose I will just have to keep re-watching episodes of the show Hondo and his gang to see if 4A-R2 is up to some really important pirate stuff like pillaging and/or dog walking.


Check out these other posts about random protocol droids in Star Wars:

U-3PO: The Other Protocol Droid

K-3PO: The Dead Protocol Droid

E-3PO: The Rude Protocol Droid

TC-14: The Federation Protocol Droid

TC-70: The Hutt’s Protocol Droid

R-3PO: The Red Protocol Droid

AP-5: The Singing Protocol Droid

4-LOM: The Bounty Hunting Protocol Droid

Fiction’s Fearless Females: Queen Amidala

Standing behind the doors leading into the royal hanger, the Queen of Naboo, surrounded by her loyal handmaidens and advisers, must make a choice. One path will keep the teenage monarch on Naboo, with her people, risking capture and death at the hands of the invading Trade Federation. The alternative path will take her off-world, traveling with the two Jedi escorting her, running the Trade Federation blockade above her world in the hopes of reaching Coruscant, the capital of the Republic, to plead for help directly to the Senate.

“Either choice presents great danger, to us all,” the Queen says as she turns her head and looks at the handmaiden standing next to her.

“We are brave, your Highness,” the handmaiden responds, calmly speaking for herself and the other handmaidens.

To be brave is to be fearless, to stand firm and unflinching when confronting danger. Either path the Queen takes includes the risk of death, to herself and her retinue, but these handmaidens will face the risk with fearless poise standing side-by-side with their monarch.

But there is something else at play here, another layer hidden in the dialogue between a Queen and her assistant. In this scene from The Phantom Menace, the Queen we see is not the real Queen. No, she is actually a handmaiden, a loyal bodyguard charged with protecting the Queen by serving as a decoy dressed in royal attire. And the real Queen, Padmé Amidala, she is the handmaiden who has spoken.

This truth will not be revealed until later in the film when standing before the Gungan Boss Nass this handmaiden, Padmé, will confidently step forward, risking her own safety, and declare that she is Queen Amidala. Even though this revelation takes place late in the movie the gravity of the revelation reverberates through the entire film. It is possible then to add an interpretation to the statement “We are brave” by considering that Padmé, as Queen-in-disguise, is using the royal “We” when she speaks. And by viewing the term through this lens one can easily believe that Padmé Amidala is not only affirming the bravery of the handmaidens, but she is subtly but confidently affirming, as the true sovereign of the Naboo, that she is fearless.

Amidala's Reveal
Stepping forward, Padmé reveals that she is Queen Amidala.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Again and again we see Amidala model her bravery, in word and deed, simultaneously as handmaiden/Queen throughout The Phantom Menace. This is obvious when she reveals her identity to Boss Nass. Begging for help as she gets down on her knees – an act of pragmatic and diplomatic submission – Queen Amidala places herself and her party at the grace the Gungans. It pays off as her act of fearless humility convinces Boss Nass that Gungans and the Naboo can be friends and allies.

The Queen’s courage is also obvious when she and her retinue travel to the planet Tatooine.

Their vessel damaged as it ran the Trade Federation blockade surrounding Naboo, the two Jedi accompanying the royal entourage must identify a location that is free from Federation control to perform repairs. Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi chooses a locale: the desert planet Tatooine. The head of the Queen’s guard, Captain Panaka, inquires how the Jedi know their Federation enemy is not present on the world to which Qui-Gon Jinn answers, “It’s controlled by the Hutts.” “You can’t take her royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters,” Panaka declares, immediately raising his concerns. Never-the-less, Tatooine, a lawless world on the fringe of the galaxy, remains their destination.

Upon landing in the desert Qui-Gon Jinn, accompanied by the astromech droid R2-D2 and the Gungan Jar Jar Binks, will head towards Mos Espa to seek out the parts they need to repair the damaged vessel. But as they head off Captain Panaka will stop them. With him is the handmaiden Padmé who remains silent as Qui-Gon and Panaka speak:

“Her Highness commands you to take her handmaiden with you,” the Captain explains.

“No more commands from her Highness today, Captain,” Qui-Gon responds, “the spaceport is not going to be pleasant.”

“The Queen wishes it. She is curious about the planet,” Panaka retorts.

“This is not a good idea,” Qui-Gon warns. “Stay close to me,” he tells the handmaiden as the group continues towards Mos Espa.

Padme joins the Group
The “handmaiden” remains silent while Captain Panaka and Qui-Gon Jinn discuss whether she should join the group.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

The exchange may not seem like much but it serves a clear purpose: to account for Padmé being part of the group heading into Mos Espa. Fair enough, but narratively this should not be necessary. If the handmaiden was part of the group to begin with we would think nothing of it. She would just be someone else who is seeking the parts for the damaged hyperdrive. So why bother briefly pausing the plot to account for the handmaiden tagging along with the party? Because Padmé is no ordinary handmaiden. Armed with the knowledge that “her Highness” IS the handmaiden, this exchange is no longer a narrative curiosity but a narrative necessity, a way of demonstrating, and reinforcing, that behind the veil of “handmaiden” resides a formidable monarch who is exercising her power and displaying her strengths.

Captain Panaka, as noted, expressed his reservation to the Jedi about taking “her royal Highness” to Hutt-controlled Tatooine. While we do not see it, we can presume he shared these reservations with the Queen herself. But now, in a surprising twist, the Captain has escorted the Queen, dressed as a commoner, into the hot desert to join the repair party. Why does he do this? Because “Her Highness” has issued a “command.” She has used her authority and given an order which the Captain is duty-bound to follow.

The command she has given – for a handmaiden to join the party – is a clever trick on the part of Amidala, a way to insert herself while maintaining anonymity. This does not come without risk. Captain Panaka is not wrong that Tatooine, being controlled by galactic gangsters, is a dangerous world. Qui-Gon Jinn acknowledges this as well, admitting that “the spaceport is not going be pleasant.” The Queen does not flinch. Instead, she is putting words into action, showing “We are brave” by placing herself in an unpredictable and potentially precarious situation.

Granted, this decision does seem ill-advised. Being fearless is laudable, but it is difficult to justify being reckless. “This is not a good idea,” Qui-Gon explains, a clear indication that he does not want anyone else to be put in danger, even a young handmaiden (although, for the record, I believe he knows Padmé is the Queen but that is a conversation for another time). Were something to happen to Amidala in Mos Espa – a run in with the Hutts, for example – the consequences could imperil not only her safety but the safety of the planet Naboo. So how can one justify her decision to join?

For starters, we can think about why she is joining the group. As Captain Panaka explains, the Queen “wishes” for the handmaiden to go with Qui-Gon Jinn because “she is curious about the planet.” Thus, we are explicitly told that the Queen is inquisitive, a quality which demonstrates her desire to lead effectively, gaining new insights and perspectives which will inform future decisions. Stuck on Tatooine for the time being, Queen Amidala chooses to step out of the comfort of her royal yacht so she might gain firsthand knowledge about her galaxy. Notably, this is exactly what happens when she meets Anakin Skywalker, a precocious 9-year-old boy, and is shocked by the revelation that he is a slave. The Queen was clearly under the impression that the abominable institution did not exist. In turn, after meeting Anakin’s mother Shmi, the Amidala learns that the Republic’s anti-slavery laws do not extend to every planet. A sobering truth that challenges her understanding of the Galactic Republic’s legal and moral reach, this discovery foreshadows the truth she learns a short time later about the ineffectiveness of the Senate and the Supreme Chancellor.

Padme and Anakin
Padmé meets Anakin Skywalker and learns a harsh truth: he is a slave.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Like her fearlessness, Amidala’s inquisitiveness is laudable. Yet, it does not entirely justify her decision to risk danger in the spaceport. Except, it does if we view it not solely as a pursuit for galactic knowledge. Rather, it should be interpreted as an example of the Queen’s strategic thinking. While Mos Espa is “not pleasant” and dangerous, given the situation it is also the safest place Queen Amidala can possibly be, a fact she must be aware of since she has given the command to “take her handmaiden.” Think of it like this: if the Trade Federation does track them down, discovering the royal yacht on the outskirts of Mos Espa, Amidala will not be there. Instead, the enemy will find the decoy Queen, along with the other handmaidens, the captain of the royal guard, and even a Jedi protector.

Meanwhile, Queen Amidala will be blending into the crowded streets of the unpleasant spaceport as the handmaiden Padmé. She will be fearlessly hiding in plain sight, as she does throughout The Phantom Menace, with no one the wiser.


Fiction’s Fearless Females is in it’s second year!  Yay!  The series runs for the month of March and along with myself will feature posts by Nancy and Kathleen of Graphic Novelty2, Kalie of Just Dread-full, Rob of My Side of the Laundry Room, and Mike of My Comic Relief.  Be sure to follow each of these blogs (as if you don’t already!) and to check out all of the Fearless Females in the series. Just follow these links:

The Doctor

Barbara Gordon (Batgirl/Oracle)

Dani from Midsommar

Sarah Connor

5 Fearless Cartoon Females of the 80s

AP-5: The Singing Protocol Droid

An RA-7 Series Protocol Droid drifts through the vast darkness of space, unafraid but “strangely calm” in “the silence” and “solitude.” Overcome by the euphoria of be-ing in this moment, “in a world all my own,” the droid, AP-5, begins to sing. As he does, a herd of baby neebray flock surround him. With their vibrant colors and dancelike movement, the neebray accentuate AP-5’s song, adding to the tranquility of the moment.

Admittedly, this scene from “Double Agent Droid, the 19th episode of Star Wars: Rebels third season, is entirely unexpected. With the obvious exception of those characters who are already musicians, it is strange for anyone in Star Wars to break into song. What makes this even more random is that the character doing the singing is AP-5, a protocol droid with the same languid tone and delivery as the late Alan Rickman. Coupled with the droids grumpy personality and dry sense of humor, that AP-5 is the one to sing about the beauty and wonder of the universe is an absurd juxtaposition that immediately catches one off-guard.

For many, the song was undoubtedly funny, a moment of welcome levity in an episode of Rebels. After-all, as showrunner Dave Filoni points out, the intention of the song, random as it may be, was meant to inject humor into the seriousness of show. For some, the song may have been off-putting, an absurdity that is annoying, adding nothing but pointless filler to the animated show. And still for others, the song very well may have been forgettable, overshadowed by the more exciting bits of the episode in particular and the series in general.

What did I think of it? Well, the fact that the languid and grumpy AP-5 is caught-up in the moment, singing how he “finds it easy to see” that he “fits into” beauty surrounding him, is certainly funny. But while I can appreciate the levity, I would also describe the song, and the scene as a whole, as utterly delightful. In a way, it serves as a reminder that every character, even those playing a minor or background role, belongs in the Star Wars universe. Facing his own mortality, AP-5 recognizes and affirms that there is no reason to be afraid as he drifts through space precisely because his existence has always had meaning. He has always fit into, and helped make, this universe more spectacular, more beautiful, more wonderful.

And the same is true for each one of us. Like AP-5 and all of the characters in the Star Wars universe, you and I perfectly fit into this universe. Honestly, what better way to capture this euphoric sense of belonging than through song?


Check out these other posts about random protocol droids in Star Wars:

U-3PO: The Other Protocol Droid

K-3PO: The Dead Protocol Droid

E-3PO: The Rude Protocol Droid

TC-14: The Federation Protocol Droid

TC-70: The Hutt’s Protocol Droid

R-3PO: The Red Protocol Droid

4A-R2: The Pirate Protocol Droid

4-LOM: The Bounty Hunting Protocol Droid

Star Wars: On the Front Lines (Review)

Ever since it was published in 2017 I had my sights set on Star Wars: On the Front Lines. I am a sucker for Star Wars reference books, having spent countless hours of my life immersing myself in the minutiae of the Star Wars universe found in these source books. But I did not buy On the Front Lines when it first came out, instead opting to wait to purchase it. Recently, though, the book was gifted to me and needing something new to read I decided to dig in. And, I am happy to report, On the Front Lines definitely did not disappoint. 

Primarily detailing battles from The Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War, but also one from the Age of Resistance, On the Front Lines takes readers quite literally to the front lines of some of the most important engagements in Star Wars. While author Daniel Wallace limits the number of battles that are explored – a perfectly reasonable decision considering how many battles are in Star Wars – he never-the-less chose one battle to examine from every live-action and animated Star Wars story to date. In fact, the only notable exception is Star Wars: Rebels, with no engagement from that series being discussed. Here is a list of battles that the author examines:

The Battle of Naboo (The Phantom Menace)
The Battle of Geonosis (Attack of the Clones)
The Battle of Christophsis (The Clone Wars movie)
The Battle of Ryloth (The Clone Wars animated show)
The Battle of Coruscant (Revenge of the Sith)
The Battle of Scarif (Rogue One)
The Battle of Yavin (A New Hope)
The Battle of Hoth (The Empire Strikes Back)
The Battle of Endor (Return of the Jedi)
The Battle of Jakku (Various Sources)
The Battle of Starkiller Base (The Force Awakens)

That Wallace chooses well-known battles from the Star Wars saga, battles that we have actually seen in film and on television, makes it easy for both casual and die-hard fans to digest and enjoy this book. Interestingly though, the clash I found myself most interested in reading about was the Battle of Jakku. As you can see from the list above, this is the only engagement discussed in the On the Front Lines that has never been depicted on-screen. Putting his penmanship and imagination to work, Wallace pulls from multiple sources (novels such as Lost Stars and Aftermath: Empire’s End) to piece together details about this relatively unknown fight. In doing so, he presents a vivid picture of the final battle in the Galactic Civil War, a brutal slugfest between the New Republic and Imperial Remnant that leaves wreckage and bodies littering the sandy dunes of the remote world.

Jakku-Starship_Graveyard-The_Force_Awakens_(2015)
Want to know how all those derelict Star Destroyers ended up on the surface of Jakku? On the Front Lines provides some context.
Photo Credit – Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

While I found myself intensely fascinated by Wallace’s presentation of the Battle of Jakku this does not mean I found the other battles any less interesting. Far from it! In every chapter, Wallace draws on the source material available – movies, television shows, books, comics, etc. – to craft a unique and fairly comprehensive picture of each engagement. Granted, there are points where Wallace does leave out information, or gives details only a cursory glance. For example, the space battle which takes place above Naboo in from The Phantom Menace is only briefly mentioned, with the focus instead being entirely on the ground battle between the Gungans and the Trade Federation’s Droid Army. As well, the space battle over Ryloth, depicted in The Clone Wars Season 1, Episode 19 (“Storm Over Ryloth”), where Ahsoka Tano uses a Marl Sabl maneuver to defeat the Separatist blockade, is entirely ignored. For some die-hard fans of Star Wars, these and other omissions may prove annoying but for this die-hard fan, I found myself enjoying what was in the book rather than brooding over what was not.

That being said, I can admit that I wish the book had even more in it. This is not a criticism, though. Rather, it is an acknowledgment that I really enjoyed the way each battle is presented, with a combination of big picture information, such as why the confrontation took place and how it unfolds, along with more focused detail on things like armor, weaponry, vehicles and tactics. Every chapter also offers little asides about individuals from each engagement, specific commanders from both sides, and a handful of soldiers and/or pilots who displayed incredible courage during the fight. And, to top it off, every chapter is loaded with captivating and wholly unique images courtesy of four superb illustrators (Adrián Rodriguez, Thomas Wievegg, Aaron Riley, and Fares Maese).

Finally, I would be remiss if I failed to mention that On the Front Lines contains a lot of information that I never knew about, or had never even considered,, about each of these Star Wars battles. In closing, then, I thought I would pick just one bit of of insight that I learned from this book. And what comes to mind immediately is a detail about The Battle of Christophsis. Or rather, aftermath of Christophsis. As we see in The Clone Wars movie, towards the end of this fight, Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi tricks the Separatist General Whorm Loathsom into believing that the Jedi intends to conditionally surrender his clone forces. However, this is a ruse, done with the hope of giving Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano more time to deactivate the Separatist deflector shields. Kenobi succeeds in his plan, and actually captures Loathsom moments later, but as Wallace writes,

“General Kenobi’s false surrender at Christophsis was a boon to the Separatist-controlled media, who viewed the incident as clear evidence of the Republic’s duplicity. Almost no conditional surrenders were offered by either side for the remainder of the war” (pg. 31).

Kenobi may have been successful in that moment, but his “false surrender” was not without long-term consequence. As the Clone War intensified, it would be the clones themselves, the actual soldiers doing the fighting on the front lines, who would pay the price for Kenobi’s actions.

Haikuesday: Star Wars Aliens

Desert Scavengers
Brown-robed, yellow-eyed Jawas
Utini,” they say.


Homeworld: Kubindi.
Kubaz with snout-like trunks speak
using vibrations.


Called “Squid Heads” by some,
the Quarren of Mon Cala
are a proud species.


Key trait: cone-shaped horns.
Gotal abilities are
extrasensory.


“Hard to meet a myth.”
Sentient, shapeshifting plants.
Neti from Myrkr.


Keeping to themselves,
the Kaminoans live out
past the Rishi Maze.


Breathing ammonia,
insectoid Gand are hidden
by respirators.


Exoskeletons.
Mathematical species.
Givin from Yag’Dhul.


Force technology.
An Infinite Empire.
Ancient Rakata.


Hailing from Toola.
Tusks protruding from their jaws.
Ferocious Whipids.

Haiku Addendum:
pronounce “Whipid” like Stewie
pronounces “Cool Whip”


Thisspiasian.
Serpentine body and a
very hairy face.


Malastare’s Natives.
Vicious Dugs walk on their arms
and use feet as hands.


Colonizing Gran
take control of Malastare.
The Dugs – furious.


A long-lived species.
Shi’ido first appeared in
Galaxy of Fear.


Short, Green, Pointed Ears.
Vandar, Yaddle, and Yoda.
Species’ Name Unknown.


Cycloptic biped.
Hailing from the planet Byss.
Green-skinned Abyssin.


Cremlevian War –
A galaxy ruined by
war-like Yuuzhan Vong.


The “friend from afar.”
The “stranger to be trusted.”
The Caamasi.


Fur-covered, wolf like.
The Shistavanen are a
rare sight in Star Wars.


Fur-covered, wolf-like.
Is that a Shistavanen?
Nope, it’s a Defel.


Water-based mammals.
A blowhole atop their heads.
The massive Herglic.


Ben Quadinaros.
The famous Toong podracer.
His engines explode.

I have a theory:
Han named Ben after the Toong.
I’m dead serious.


Neimodians.
Related to the Duros.
The latter came first.


Rodent-like beings.
Big ears and very dark eyes.
Chadra-Fan from Chad.


Saurian species.
Invasion of Bakura.
Bipedal Ssi-Ruuk.


Devilish mammal.
Males have horns, females do not.
Devaronians.


Mud as camouflage.
Red-skinned Mimbanese soldiers
ambush Stormtroopers.


Did you know that in
The Phantom Menace you can
see E.T.’s species?

Name: Asogians.
Homeworld: Brodo Asogi.
Lucas. Spielberg. Pals.


Hailing from Tibrin.
Amphibians with eye stalks.
The green Ishi Tib.


Insect-like Yam’rii.
Look for the praying mantis
in the Cantina.


Twelve-eyed insectoid.
A Vuvrian purchases
Skywalker’s speeder.


Eyes a glowing red.
Blue-skin and glint blue-black hair.
They are called the Chiss.


From the planet Merj.
Morseerians breath methane.
And have big cone heads.


I’m absolutely
positive I could outrun
a Gamorrean.


Wookiee. Gungan. Talz.
Trandoshan. Geonosian.
Sullustan. Lasat.


Rodian. Bothan.
Abednedo. Barabel.
Lamproid. Elomin.


Ewok. Dulok. Teek.
Sanyassan. Skandit. Yuzzum.
Jinda. Gupin. Gorph.


I could spend a day
listing Star Wars aliens.
There are so many!


It’s Star Wars quiz time!
Shistavanen or Defel
in the featured pic?


Check out these other Haikuesday 2.0 posts:

Imperial Atrocities

Luke Skywalker (ANH)

Luke Skywalker (ESB)

Luke Skywalker (ROTJ)

Dark Lords of the Sith

Star Wars Planets

The Great Jedi Purge

 

The Child’s Prayer

The Child,
Who art on Disney,
Baby Yoda be thy name;
Thy Funko come;
Thy story not yet done,
on The Mandalorian.

Give us this day more viral memes
and forgive us our lack of merchandise
as we forgive those not craving your merchandise.

And give us not only more cute GIFs,
but deliver us expensive items with your likeness
preferably in two-days courtesy of Amazon Prime.

For thine is the adorably big-eyed
holding a cup of soup

for ever and ever.

May the Force
be with
You.